LDR getting mixed signals

[greenwichguy]

This is my first time on here.ive been with my girlfriend for about 3 years & it's been Great but the last month or so she's been giving me mixed signals I don't know where I stand if I am still her boyfriend she doesn't text me as much & when we talk on the phone is so quick like 4 mins I feel shes pulling away from me the good morning text & the good night texts as stopped all together she's says she loves & the other week she lost her phone & was crying on the house phone I was worried I didn't have your number so if she as a problem I am the first person she comes to we are going through some personal stuff my mum is servely ill & my girlfriend as had a broken arm but every time I ask whats wrong all I get is we are both going through some tough time it's got to the point the not knowing where I stand it's driving me crazy my mum as cancer all I want is to be happy but fill like just ending it I've got no time for mind games I would love your advice please Thankyou for taking the time to read my problem.

[Mr Gravy]

First off, allow me to welcome you to LFAD.

I believe communication is the key to any successful relationship, especially one of long distance. From honesty comes trust and from trust come confidence and security. Think about what you are worried about; Do you think she ...

• ...is losing interest in you?
• ...can't cope with long distance?
• ...feels depressed?

Try to address your concerns when you talk to her but be sensitive. Stay calm, don't judge and try not to push her into a defensive position. Show her that you are worried about her rather than your relationship status.
Ultimately, you want to make sure that you both are still on the same page, trust and care about each other.

PS: You may want to use punctuation in your future posts. I understand that you are concerned about your situation but the lack of punctuation made your post needlessly difficult to understand.

[greenwichguy]

Thankyou Mr Gravy for the quick reply,
Every time I try to bring up the subject she just says this is not the time or place to have this talk. One thing I just want to know where I stand & if she's not remotely interested in me then I will walk. I need her more then ever right now. But one thing Mr Gravy when she doesn't here from she get so worried & crys down the phone I've been so worried when I don't here from you whats that all about, I know she loves me dearly because we are always there for one another so what shall do go with the foll or just stop all communications texts etc & let her come to me ???

[Mr Gravy]

You obviously know her better than I do, but from what you've told us I wouldn't say she's lost all interest in you. She does, however, seem to be dodging difficult talks which is going to hurt a relationship in the long run.
What's your girlfriend's overall situation... How old is she? What's her job? Is she in good health (save for a broken arm)? Children? Drugs? Depression? etc.

[greenwichguy]

My girlfriend is a manager in top high street store got no health issues got 2 older boys grown up she's ten years older then me. She's a wonderful caring funny person & I don't want to loose her the only thing she worries about is money that's the only thing.

[Mr Gravy]

I'm afraid there's not much you can do beyond showing genuine interest and offering your help. Let her know that you care about her and that she can tell you anything with no fear of judgment.
If she doesn't want to talk to you, you can not force her.

Good luck and best wishes!

[greenwichguy]

Thankyou I will do Goodluck & Best wishes to you

[greenwichguy]

Hello all, just a update my girlfriend is still giving me mixed signals I lost my older sister this morning just to illness & my mother is in ITU at another hospital, I need my girlfriend more then ever I want her by my side she's says she's coming to London I can't waite but when we talk or text I can't read her & whàt she's thinking I wish she would open up & tell me where I stand. It's driving me crazy any help or advice would be appreciated thankyou x Graham

[whatruckus]

Hello all, just a update my girlfriend is still giving me mixed signals I lost my older sister this morning just to illness & my mother is in ITU at another hospital, I need my girlfriend more then ever I want her by my side she's says she's coming to London I can't waite but when we talk or text I can't read her & whàt she's thinking I wish she would open up & tell me where I stand. It's driving me crazy any help or advice would be appreciated thankyou x Graham

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope your mother gets better.

As for your SO, I understand how you might feel. It was like that with my SO for a very long time, up until 2 months ago (and we've been together for a quite a bit as well). Have you tried talking to her about this? Maybe when she comes to visit, you should talk to her about it. Ask her if something is wrong.

[differentcountries]

Well, if she worries about money and is sick herself (having broken her arm), I can imagine that it is hard for her to be present and to console you with the death of your sister and illness of your mum. Perhaps it will be easier when she comes to visit you, hopefully she can settle on a date.

[greenwichguy]

Thankyou for your reply & we are keeping our fingers crossed about mum, we have been together about 3 years now & l love her so much & I know she loves me, I've tryed talking & she said waite until I come to London but the way I feel at the moment I might say something I might regret & say my good bye forever that's how strongly I feel right now it's when she blows on & cold, one minute I think all is well & something shes says I am not so sure any advice please on what to do & say what about no contact for a few days & let her come to me ?

[differentcountries]

Tell her that you need something before she comes too, perhaps you can talk things over on Skype and find out how to be around oneanother when you both are in pain. I think it is great that she might come to see you despite having money problems, she must value your relationship a great deal then.

[greenwichguy]

Thankyou everyone for your replys, I am going through such a tough time I want to comfort my girlfriend & ask if she wants to be with me or not I can't be dealing with mix messages. I've gave her everything she ever ask for its dragging me down now I just want it over & done with any advice How to approach my girlfriend without saying the wrong thing, I love her so much she's my world life wouldn't be the same without her in my life I just want to be happy. I lost my sister yesterday she was only 48 & life is to short.
Thank you for taking the time to read my problem xx

[greenwichguy]

Hello everyone, my girlfriend is showing a lack of interest but what i can't understand when
she didn't here from me yesterday she text me & said I am so worried I haven't heard from you & she rang me crying her eyes out & said don't you ever do that to me again
so I don't know what to make of it she must be interested in me otherwise she wouldn't have acted in that way? What do you think is there any suggestions on how to handle thisbecause it's getting to a point I fill like I want out because I don't know where I stand from one day to another I love my girlfriend so much I just want to be happy I lost one of my sisters to illness on Tues & I think life is to short. Any feed back would be appreciated.

[Elizabeth123]

I am so sorry for your loss.

If you both care for each other (it sounds like you do) then you need to support each other.
Communicate with her. Tell her what you need.....Your words:

I love her so much she's my world life wouldn't be the same without her in my life I just want to be happy.