talking about finance (handling money)?

[Gingerlyme]

R&R: hahahah yeap we've discussed about me handling our finance when we get a house together which is going to be in a year or so. sydney/melbourne real estate is a killa, the land and house we are looking at buying is 800k...(ouch) so we better have our $$ in check haha

snow, aleksaaw: this is exactly what we are doing. we both have our own personal account but we share a account for savings that seems to be working for him (he considers that a start to his journey of saving money)

[whatruckus]

Actually, because of this thread I've been thinking about it a lot. My ex used to want us to have a joint account, and I'm incredibly happy I stuck to my guns about not doing it. He also tried to talk me into using my savings to buy him a brand new Chevy Camaro, where I wouldn't even get to drive it. We weren't even engaged.

As for me and my SO, we haven't talked about it yet, but I think next time I see him (in a few weeks), I'm going to bring it up. I think it would be best to maintain separate bank accounts (so, there's no arguments or resentments about who's money got spent on what), while maybe have a separate joint checking/savings account for bills, rent, etc when we move in together. Whenever that is. I think even if we get married, this would be best.

Kapwned your parents' arrangement seems phenomenal. I'm a spender as well, but with my own money. But, I also know at all times how much I have in my account. The only times my account was ever overdrawn was when I was unemployed. I keep mental notes of how much I spend, and I set up alerts on all of my accounts, including my credit cards, so I know when it's used, and how much was spent. I have alerts set up to tell me when my account dips below a certain amount as well.

As for my SO, he might check his account a lot, but he spends too much on stupid stuff and doesn't know how to save. When I had my good job, and made great money, I was putting $500/month into my savings and still had over $700+ in my checking account to use for the month. It helped that I lived with my parents, so I was able to save all that money. Then I got fired. Bye bye savings. Ugh. But, I guess that's what savings were for. I used it to pay my credit cards and school loan.

I'm actually very good at finances and crunching numbers, even slightly better than my brothers (though my account doesn't reflect it now ). I keep asking my SO to let me take a peek at his finances/paychecks to help him save money, and he keeps saying that he needs/wants me to do it. But, he's so lazy.

[Kapwned]

Yeah my parents arrangement requires a lot of consent and agreement. One has to accept how they are with money and have complete trust in the other. And it often doesn't end up 50/50. The one controlling the finances could be the one who makes more money and the other needs to remember it isn't necessarily a bread winner complex, and if the one controlling the finances makes less can't get offended if the majority of their money goes to bills while the other has a lot left over (because again, the idea is that they are still sharing the wealth and supporting each other).

[Gingerlyme]

Well sometimes when it comes to couples it's not always 50/50. It sounds like it might be best for the two of you to maintain separate bank accounts and to clearly distribute who covers what. I personally have never lived with a SO and thus I haven't been in this situation.

But growing up, my mom was always the saver and my dad was the spender. My dad has basically relinquished control of the important finances to my mom. She decides how much they have for leisure spending, savings, and bills. And yes, she even puts his money into account. She knows how much he makes and when times are tough she budgets based off of what he potentially has as well. My mom is REALLY controlling of the finances. My dad doesn't even know how much they have in savings because my mom won't tell him because she knows he may relax a bit and try to convince her to dip into them if money becomes tight. They also maintain separate bank accounts. Her money is for savings and bills, a little bit of leisure. His is purely for leisure and bills when she needs help (because again, she doesn't like to dip into savings no matter what). They still view each other's money as both of their money. It's just two separate accounts with two separate purposes. So they never run into issues of "This is MY money, you can't tell me what to do with it!"

I will also add that my parents are low income so they need to be careful with money.

If you and your SO are living comfortably, just set yourself a minimum of how much you feel you should keep in your savings and don't be afraid to pull a little out as long as you don't dip into that minimum. Money can't bring you happiness, but it can help create memories and fun times. Maybe my parents arrangement is best for you. Your income is for bills and savings, and a little leisure, and his could be for leisure and picking up slack with bills.

100% parents win! the trust in the both of them is incredible!