here I wait

[douglas2275]

This is more of an update than a question.

I am in limbo, I am on the verge of either seeing my relationship break or continuing to love and grow with my beautiful Brittaney. Last night she voiced some concerns she is having and after some talking it has been brought to my attention that she is unsure with how she wants to continue in our relationship. She says that she feels trapped and that I am just so far away. She is hurting.

She was concerned that our relationship is going in circles and thay we might be drifting. I assured her that it could not be any further from the truth... At least on my end.

I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how I want to fight for us, because I believe in us. So I let her log I to my account here and see what I had written. I want her to know what she means to me and how much I love her.

I'm afraid my fairy tales and happy ever after might have scared her...

I wait.

I wait to here what she is going to do.

I wait to see if this woman I love, is going to fight for us.

It has to be a decision she makes for herself, I can't do this for her. She has to want us to work. She has to want to continue. I know what I want but I'm trying to do the right thing. It would be wrong for me to make her stay. She has to decide to do that on her own.

I'm dying. It feels like my whole future is in limbo and I don't know what's going to happen.. In truth it is, her choice could change everything. She is what I live for. My only dream. My only ambition. I cannot see life without her. But this is not about me.

She can see everything I post now so I dare not say more because I don't want to influence her. My whole world is in her hands. I will wait to see what she chooses.

[whatruckus]

Being that she is only 17, I can understand her uncertainty about her future, as well as her future with you. You are right that you can not, and should not, influence her in any way. If she chooses to end it, you must be okay with that.

It could be that she is having doubts because of the distance, and fears she's not strong enough to handle it.

If it does end, please remember that you are young. And, you will find someone else.

I can't give you any advice regarding her, because I don't know what she is thinking. These types of things suck, and I do hope for the best for you and her.

[TheSteelAngel]

Aww my heart breaks for you my friend. It really does. You really are trying so hard and I just know that she appreciates it. But like whatruckus said she is only 17 and who knows what's going through her mind. You are doing all that you can right now and like you said, it's all about her decision now. Good luck! I'm rooting for you

[Kapwned]

Honestly it seems like she may not be able to wait. She is quite young and she is going to grow and change a lot in the next couple of years. You too. I'm not saying it isn't possible to find the love of your life at such a young age, but at this age you shouldn't fight the current. Your relationship is still young, you two are still young, and there's a lot ahead for both of you.

I'm just voicing my opinion. From what I've seen it hasn't been much of a relationship lately. She has to hide it from everyone, you don't get to talk much, every form of contact has to be sneaky and it seems like she just ends up feeling paranoid and nervous. I understand that this is probably because of her age and how her parents would view the circumstances of your relationship. But will this magically change once she turns 18? Being 18 doesn't mean automatic freedom. You need money, transportation, and somewhere to go to earn your freedom. And only then does it seem like you two could be open about your relationship.

I've just seen so many teens enter LDRs with romantic ideas, but the ability to execute and maintain the relationship is the challenge that often they find difficult.

[douglas2275]

She has decided to fight for us, of course I am relieved but now I need to learn to back off a little and give her room to grow without being choked. I have so much to learn...

[Miasmata]

We all learn and grow constantly, both inside our relationships and outside. Make sure you communicate and listen. And if you ever feel like what you got just doesn't work, you can discuss that too. I wish you all the best no matter what