What's the longest time you can handle being with no contact?

[TheSteelAngel]

I have to ask this question because unfortunately it happens quite a bit with me and my SO due to his work. I've been through 1 to almost 2 weeks with no contact before and right now he's in his busy season and hasn't texted me back since we talked last Thursday. This does bother me, but he'll contact me soon hopefully once he could catch a break. I can handle 2 weeks at most before I really start to put the handle down.

So what about everyone else? How long can you tolerate with no contact from your SO?

[R&R]

I had one SO where it was over a month. He was in the military and he could be gone on an operation and I wouldn't hear from him until he returned. Due to what he did, I cut him a lot of slack.

My current SO, more than 3 days and he's toast. Part of it has to do with the first time we dated and he knows it brings back some real trust issues with me. The only time, since we got back together in November 2013, I didn't have any contact for 3 days was because his phone, Ipad and laptop were stolen out of his van because his son didn't lock the door when they went in the store. Normally, he will go 24-36 hours with no contact or with a single text.

[differentcountries]

Anything over 48 hours is unacceptable.

[dglynn77]

I agree with these ladies. Unless you are in the military or literally have NO access to a phone or internet, I feel it is only common courtesy to at least drop a text once every 48 hours. Even just an "I'm super busy but I'm thinking about you" text.
I honestly don't believe that anyone could ever be THAT busy that they don't even have 10 seconds every 48 hours to check in with the person they love. I would be questioning the seriousness of our relationship if we ever were NC more than a few days without a seriously good reason. He knows I like to hear from him, so he fits me in, whether it is convenient or not. And he likes to hear from me too!

[dizzyupthemeg]

If I didn't hear from my SO for a 24 hour period I would worry. He has no reason to not contact me as he works a normal 9-5 job and doesn't have any activities that should get in our way. Just a quick text to let me know he is still alive is all I need.

[Redheart14]

I agree with these ladies. Unless you are in the military or literally have NO access to a phone or internet, I feel it is only common courtesy to at least drop a text once every 48 hours. Even just an "I'm super busy but I'm thinking about you" text.
I honestly don't believe that anyone could ever be THAT busy that they don't even have 10 seconds every 48 hours to check in with the person they love. I would be questioning the seriousness of our relationship if we ever were NC more than a few days without a seriously good reason. He knows I like to hear from him, so he fits me in, whether it is convenient or not. And he likes to hear from me too!

I couldn't agree with this more!!

[TheSteelAngel]

You guys are all correct. Like I really am questioning this relationship right now. I know that he really does love and care about me, but his actions really confuse the heck out of me. I really don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to just give up because I know he's not a bad guy at all. I'm so confused.

[sweetshay]

My SO said at about half a day he'd be worried, same for me. Anything more than 12 hrs would be bad in my case because we never really have anything that prevents us from keeping in contact. Nothing is unique about our schedules that I shouldn't hear from him. In a previous relationship my ex disappeared for 3 days once because he "needed space" and then the second time I didn't hear from him for a whole week because he was in jail and I didn't know until he was able to call. If my SO was too busy to even contact me once a day i'd lose interest.

[R&R]

I think you should take the time to read this:

https://blissinprogress.hubpages.com...elissa-Littles

Even though you are not a LEO wife, this is how it is for the wife who is living with the LEO. Some of this I remember from a kids point of view growing up with a father who was a police officer. Random shifts and dad not being there for certain things - it was just how it was.

[Happy_Girl]

24 hours. Like we are already in long distance and 12 hour difference, i expect to hear from him even just a morning or goodnight text. Maybe you can tell him that this bothers you. Just few seconds for a text is not too much for loved ones.

[snow]

I mean, I obviously don't know how life is for a police officer, but I feel like once every 24-48 hours doesn't seem like you're asking too much. If they are in the active military where they just don't have the possibility to use a computer/phone for months on end, I would definitely understand, but other than that I see no reason why you shouldn't just say something.

This has always bothered me about a friend of mine who said he was too busy to text his girlfriend and she wouldn't hear from him for 3-4 days at a time, when he worked a normal 9-5 job with really no other responsibilities (e.g.: no kids, no pets, etc).
(It bothered me because she would call me at 4am my time (8pm her time) to cry about it to me and being a good friend, I stayed up and talked to her.)

[TheSteelAngel]

I think you should take the time to read this:

https://blissinprogress.hubpages.com...elissa-Littles

Even though you are not a LEO wife, this is how it is for the wife who is living with the LEO. Some of this I remember from a kids point of view growing up with a father who was a police officer. Random shifts and dad not being there for certain things - it was just how it was.

Thank you. I have read this before. I can relate to a lot of this (obviously). Idk what to feel anymore. Everyone in my life is telling me different things and it's just adding more confusion. I feel stuck, but I have to get through this. He will contact me soon, hopefully, and if he doesn't...well then I've found my answer

[R&R]

Thank you. I have read this before. I can relate to a lot of this (obviously). Idk what to feel anymore. Everyone in my is telling me different things and it's just adding more confusion. I feel stuck, but I have to get through this. He will contact me soon, hopefully, and if he doesn't...well then I've found my answer

Everyone can give opinions but only you know how you feel and how much you can take. You also know him better than anyone and have to decide if you truly think it's because he's busy on the job or because he maybe has decided this may not be the relationship he currently wants for whatever reason. It's hard when you feel like you are giving your 100% and that the other person is barely trying.

[Kapwned]

I suppose it'd depend. In today's world it really is not hard to stop and send a text or do a 30 minute call. My SO is in a situation where he has nothing getting in the way of contacting me. At best I may not get a call but a small chat via skype IM because work left him feeling exhausted. Or a game has him consumed. So I'd say 24 hours? I'd at least like for him to check in and let me know he's doing okay, but given that we are at a distance with no physical contact I think we should make effort to talk some everyday.

This has always bothered me about a friend of mine who said he was too busy to text his girlfriend and she wouldn't hear from him for 3-4 days at a time, when he worked a normal 9-5 job with really no other responsibilities (e.g.: no kids, no pets, etc).
(It bothered me because she would call me at 4am my time (8pm her time) to cry about it to me and being a good friend, I stayed up and talked to her.)

I agree with this. I've been in that position. I understand people have their own things going on and people need me time. But if you want to have a relationship with someone you should feel somewhat eager to talk to them or see them, and you should pay them the respect of trying to set some time aside just for them. There are 24 hours in a day. I think everyone can manage something (unless in the military), even if you need to schedule it.

[whatruckus]

Thank you. I have read this before. I can relate to a lot of this (obviously). Idk what to feel anymore. Everyone in my life is telling me different things and it's just adding more confusion. I feel stuck, but I have to get through this. He will contact me soon, hopefully, and if he doesn't...well then I've found my answer

Remember what I've told you. And, remember what you want and what you deserve. It's really up to you and what you're willing to handle and put up with. Only you know you, and you know your SO. I do believe he would have time to say something to you, anything. Even if he is busy.

Hell, my dad's best friend, and our family friend of like 25 years, is the Chief of Police here and he has time to call my dad/text him. It might not be right away, or maybe a day or two later, but he always does. So, sometimes, it's hard for me to buy that he's completely consumed with being busy. Even my SO's best friend is a State Trooper, who only really works in Philly, has time to text. My friend who is a cop has time to text me back.

I read the blog post, and she did mention that even she will get a call or a text, at some point. Like Kapwned said, in this era, it's very easy to stay in contact, no matter how busy you are. You can't possibly be so busy for weeks at a time, that you can not send a quick text to your SO. I'm sure he's had time to say things to his family while he's been busy, to let them know he's okay.

I'm not trying to put your SO down, or your importance to him, or anything like that (because you know I never would), but I just honestly don't believe that's he's literally that busy. Not with how easy technology makes things now. There's nothing going in Philly that I know of, unless he works in Narcotics, in which case...there's ALWAYS something. But, I don't think you ever mentioned to me that he does. He works in a bad district, but it's no where near as bad as West Philly. If he worked in West Philly, then yea, I would completely understand that he would be busy for days at a time. I do know that the force in the city is understaffed (it's pretty obvious), but I also know they're trying to hire more rookies (my SO applied again a few months ago, his 3rd time).

I just don't know.

I really feel for you, and I really do hope that things work out.