What's the longest time you can handle being with no contact?

[differentcountries]

If I did not hear from SO in two weeks, he better have had a heart attack during weird circumstances so noone thought to notify me.

[TheSteelAngel]

If not in the military ,there is no reason not to call, there is nothing like a loving voice. How much did he text and call when you first met.

When we first met we talked all day everyday. Then after we became official that slowly became less and less. He never initiates contact anymore. I always do. And I really do think it's because he thinks that I won't leave him that he acts this way and just focuses on his work.

We've talked a little bit since I made this post, but through text. He really is as busy as he says he is. He works from 8pm - 4am and basically all of his calls are high priority calls that just wear him out. Plus he's been getting called to court a lot lately which he says usually lasts from 9am - 4pm. He told me that he was really sorry for acting this way, and that all he's been doing while he's at home is sleeping. Ok I do understand that, but I'm not gonna just let it go like that until we can actually have a voice discussion on this. He needs to learn that he has to tell me what's been going on so that I don't worry.

[whatruckus]

When we first met we talked all day everyday. Then after we became official that slowly became less and less. He never initiates contact anymore. I always do. And I really do think it's because he thinks that I won't leave him that he acts this way and just focuses on his work.

We've talked a little bit since I made this post, but through text. He really is as busy as he says he is. He works from 8pm - 4am and basically all of his calls are high priority calls that just wear him out. Plus he's been getting called to court a lot lately which he says usually lasts from 9am - 4pm. He told me that he was really sorry for acting this way, and that all he's been doing while he's at home is sleeping. Ok I do understand that, but I'm not gonna just let it go like that until we can actually have a voice discussion on this. He needs to learn that he has to tell me what's been going on so that I don't worry.

Kick his ass.

[TheSteelAngel]

Lmao will do! Thanks!

[whatruckus]

Lol.

I have too much fun with the smilies.

[Kapwned]

I still say no excuse! Sure you may not get your phone calls and long chats, but there's gotta be SOMETHING. He could still text you... even if you don't respond. He could send something like "I'm off to work now, I hope you had a lovely day, I'll text you on my break/when I get home and let you know how mine is going."

[differentcountries]

He works from 8pm - 4am and basically all of his calls are high priority calls that just wear him out. Plus he's been getting called to court a lot lately which he says usually lasts from 9am - 4pm.

Now that is a whole lot of work. Still... My SO's job really wears him out in high season (june-august). He runs in the sand under the hot sun taking orders. He usually works from 10-10 (Mondays 10-01) plus because of our expenses I have agreed that he can take on an extra job for his tatooist friend, taking care of tatoo customers from one up to four hours. This means that several days a week literally all he does is work and sleep. We are down to Skyping just once a week. But there is no radio silence. Even if, like yesterday, I only get one text, I know he is alive. And that one text was: "How are you?"

[Redheart14]

I still say no excuse! Sure you may not get your phone calls and long chats, but there's gotta be SOMETHING. He could still text you... even if you don't respond. He could send something like "I'm off to work now, I hope you had a lovely day, I'll text you on my break/when I get home and let you know how mine is going."

^^^this

[R&R]

When we first met we talked all day everyday. Then after we became official that slowly became less and less. He never initiates contact anymore. I always do. And I really do think it's because he thinks that I won't leave him that he acts this way and just focuses on his work.

We've talked a little bit since I made this post, but through text. He really is as busy as he says he is. He works from 8pm - 4am and basically all of his calls are high priority calls that just wear him out. Plus he's been getting called to court a lot lately which he says usually lasts from 9am - 4pm. He told me that he was really sorry for acting this way, and that all he's been doing while he's at home is sleeping. Ok I do understand that, but I'm not gonna just let it go like that until we can actually have a voice discussion on this. He needs to learn that he has to tell me what's been going on so that I don't worry.

Where you have had this discussion before, you have to decide what you are going to do if he agrees to more communication and goes back to how things are now. Is the infrequent texting and communication something that you can live with or is this a deal breaker for you? If it's not a deal breaker, just going over it and over it again is going to be frustrating for both of you. Each of you is probably going to have to give some to make this work.

[whatruckus]

I still think that he should've been able to give you a heads-up text at some point. No matter how tired he is. Even my SO, if he crashes in bed after work (or after he goes out), he'll text me when he wakes up, or is about to walk into work, "Sry, I passed out in bed after work, love you"

Like I keep saying.

And, he is THE WORST at communication.

[hmrambling]

You've taught him that his behavior is acceptable. At some point, it's no longer on him... it's what you have accepted. As long as you have accepted it, then the behavior is okay. See previous posts around making boundaries.