He's Here!

[twentynine11]

My SO came home last night. I was sitting in church at a young adults service that I go to on Thursdays. He walked in and sat right beside me!!
My son, my boyfriend, and I went to eat dinner and then home! He had errands to run this morning and I had to get my son to basketball camp and go to work. He will leave again on Monday, but I get to see him ALL weekend! I am so happy!
When he is away, things are really hard for me. It's like a piece of me is missing. My emotions and anxiety are completely out of whack. When he's here though, none of that matters. I just enjoy the time that we all three (me, my son, and SO) get to be together. In a sense, it feels like all is right in the world!
My previous posts have been a lot about my anxiety and emotional overthinking. I realized something. A lot of times, I let "what if's" cross my mind way too much. I say what if my boyfriend doesn't really love me? What if I wait for him and he decides in the end that he really doesn't want me? What if I'm not able to have children when we finally get married? What if I get in a plane and it crashes? What if, what if, what if? Worrying about the future gets you nowhere. It wastes your present time. I used to think that I needed to combat these thoughts with positive ones, "What if it works out, what if the plane doesn't crash, etc. I have realized that I need to actually go with the "what if" thoughts. Let me explain.
If I ask "What if my boyfriend cheats on me during the distance?". That could be a legit worry and if it were to really happen, it would be a legit problem. However, I have to play it out. Ok, what if he did cheat? The relationship would be over for me. Would I want to reconcile? No. Would I be ok in the end? Yes.
My point is, each and every worry that I have, I will be ok no matter what happens. We have to be confident in who we are, our worth, and who God is. Knowing that no matter what happens in this life, I will be ok. This way of thinking takes practice, but I think it is necessary in my personal battle with anxiety and emotional overthinking.
Now, I have to make a grocery list for the weekend and plan a little something for Father's Day!
Have a great weekend everyone!

[Happy_Girl]

Happy for you!! Enjoy your weekend with your loved ones

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Awww! Enjoy the time you spend with him! I'm so happy for you!

[differentcountries]

Enjoy

[Ella85]

Have a great time!

[twentynine11]

Thank you, each of you!

I have been at work all day. I work 9 to 5 so I have about three more hours to go. I have anticipated seeing him and just being with him tonight. He asked if we have anything planned for tonight. I told him no. I thought we would just hang out at the house and relax and just be with each other. No money spent, nothing fancy, just hanging out. He wants to go play basketball. I would say that it is because he wants to be with his friends, but these are people that he isn't even close to. I anticipate being with him all day and he anticipates playing basketball.
My ex husband was much like that. He never wanted to be with his family.

I consider him in everything that I do. Even though my SO is not my son's biological father. I have still made preparations to make the day special for him since he has been that figure to my son. I think about him in everything that I do. I am a very considerate person and I absolutely hate myself for it at times.

I am thinking too much again.
Regardless, I keep my mouth shut, let him do what he wants to do, and I will adjust my emotions so that they do not show. I guess I'll just anticipate being with him until he has time for me.

[hmrambling]

Howdy neighbor.. I just saw your avatar and saw that you're in Louisiana. I hope ya'll have a great visit.

[Miasmata]

Enjoy your time together

[differentcountries]

I have anticipated seeing him and just being with him tonight. He asked if we have anything planned for tonight. I told him no. I thought we would just hang out at the house and relax and just be with each other. No money spent, nothing fancy, just hanging out. He wants to go play basketball. I would say that it is because he wants to be with his friends, but these are people that he isn't even close to. I anticipate being with him all day and he anticipates playing basketball.
My ex husband was much like that. He never wanted to be with his family.

I consider him in everything that I do. Even though my SO is not my son's biological father. I have still made preparations to make the day special for him since he has been that figure to my son. I think about him in everything that I do. I am a very considerate person and I absolutely hate myself for it at times.

I am thinking too much again.
Regardless, I keep my mouth shut, let him do what he wants to do, and I will adjust my emotions so that they do not show. I guess I'll just anticipate being with him until he has time for me.

I don't see why you can't just ask him to play basketball some other day. Or at least play basketball with you and your son. You may ask him if there is something he would like to do in your home, or think of things you can do. For instance, watching movies, order inn some nice food.