I am so sad and I donīt know what to do.

[Teddy'sRosy]

We finally met on June 10th for the first time and spent 17 wonderful days together. To me it was pure happiness and I never felt that happy in my life before. Now we are seperated again and I am so incredibly sad. I try to occupy myself, go out almost every day, try to work as much as possible but nothing helps.
I still sit at home every day and just cry for hours unable to pull myself together and stop. Sometimes I even start crying in public and there is nothing I can do to stop it and this makes me feel so helpless.

At the same time he has been so busy and I just constantly wait and hope for him to message me/call me so I can talk to him. Itīs so exhausting.

I feel so broken and every day i fall apart more and I donīt know what to do. The next time we will see eachother will be in 6 months and I feel like I wonīt survive this.

I donīt even know what I except from this post, I just needed to get it out and talk about it.
I am a miserable wrack.

[Mims27]

Was this your first visit? That's usually a hard one, for sure. It does get easier, I promise. Get out of the house and keep busy. Distraction is key, and without it you're just going to keep feeling bad. Also, talking/planning future visits helps a lot. Even if you don't have a date yet, kowing something is coming in the near'ish future, makes things a bit easier. Hang in there!

[Teddy'sRosy]

Thank you for your reply.
Yes it was our first visit after knowing eachother for a year. I was trying to prepare myself because I knew itīs going to be hard but I could have never imagined that itīs going to hurt so bad. And right now I canīt believe that it will get easier and I am so scared of experiencing the same pain again.

I/we tried to talk about the next time we are going to see eachother but I start crying when I think of it so thinking about this really doesnt make me feel better. Itīs actually the complete opposite because there is no good in getting reminded that I have to wait another 6 months for that to happen. Getting reminded that I will be sad for the next 6 months wishing he was here.

[Jamaicanqueen]

I know what helps me is hanging out with my friends to take up some of the free time, and also doing more of the things you really love while you two are apart. I try to play soccer frequently, and focus on other things until I can talk to my SO again.

[Dublin25]

Hiya
I felt exactly like you and still do to some extent, I find myself just not wanting to do stuff and think about him instead but time just drags then!
Like others have said try n keep busy, book times on skype etc and start planning for the next meet, you can do this if its meant to be xx

[R&R]

One of the biggest things that is going to help you is your attitude. Crying for hours on end weeks after you are apart is not good. Yes, everyone deals with it differently but this isn't good for you.

At the beginning, when I did cry when we were apart, I put very strict limits on myself. I would allow myself a day to be miserable, cranky, cry, etc and that was it. I had a life before this relationship and I still have one when we are apart and that is my focus. I can't be living and enjoying my life if I am allowing myself to be miserable and wallow in the fact that we are apart.

Focus on the good times you had when you were with your SO. Focus on what you want to have happen next trip. Enjoy the calls, texts, Skype. But most of all, enjoy the parts of your life that involve just you. Don't ever lose that or who you are because of a relationship or another person. This will help you deal with being apart.

[Ella85]

I was pretty bad when I got home in February. About a month it took me to be able to hang up skype with out crying when we said goodbye. I am very prone to depression and I did get pretty low at that time. It does get easier as time goes on, I haven't seen my SO in 5 months and I'm flying out in just under 2 weeks. It defiantly helps to have a next visit date. My boyfriend and I already made plans for xmas and new years as we want to be together. I'm going to book it while I am there so I am not crying and stressing about when I'll next see him when we leave. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it will get easier.

[Teddy'sRosy]

Thank you, knowing that I am not alone in this, that there is many other people who experience the same helps a lot. I usually feel so lonely in this because I have no one to talk to, no one understands what it is like.

Itīs summer break so it will be hard to keep myself busy but I need to try. I need to pick myself up again and keep going, learn to enjoy the time I have by myself and be happy and grateful when he is there.

In september university and work starts again so I will be busy and the remaining 4 months will go by quickly. I just need to survive these 2 months because they are going to be long, boring and painful without anything to do.
But it will get better, it always does.

(I just hope that we will be able to skype soon, I really miss seeing him )

[Miasmata]

I second R&R's post about attitude! How you approach these situations really matters. If you look at it as survival, something entirely painful and nothing else, you're not going to feel much better. It's okay to miss your SO, everyone does that, but if you see yourself as incomplete and unhappy without him, that's worrisome. You're great and whole without him, too, but you gotta believe in that to see it. Look at how your relationship makes you even better, not how you can't be without it. You got this

[Gilven]

Buuuh, poor, wish you a lot but a lot of strength!!! I guess we all passed this time, I remember as i was returning in the plane from my first visit and the attendant brought me without saying nothing a bunch of kleenex and gave me a hug, because i was sitting there and passed 12 hours silently crying... And the first weeks are hell. Trust me: after the first 2 months, the joy of waiting the next visit will come back! Just hold on, try to protect each other from negativity, send each other little things (for example I sent little lego surprises, a nice bookmark, something personal) to remind, to keep "in touch". If u have the possibility: order your SO a pizza ^^ he will appreciate, there are deliveries where you can order AND pay online... just as a surprise, like; hey, I could not cook you a dinner, but look! Just don't start being just negative about each other. Lots of love for you and your SO!

[differentcountries]

The time after the first trip can be awful .Just trust me when I say it usually gets better. When I left him, I was so upset that fellow passengers thought I was crazy (I am not a sweet cryer). The two months after my first (re)visit to SO were horrible and almost ruined Christmas fōr me. After the second visit it started getting better. I was able to start building a routine. I have gotten less prone to crying. I find that working out helps a lot. Also ,actually booking tickets and have a count down. And, I don't wait around for messages... If he is able to text me he does, if not we have Skype in the evening.

[Teddy'sRosy]

Thank you so much, I really hope it gets better and I am glad I am not the only one who feels/felt that way. Knowing this helps a lot.
Thankfully he is supporting me a lot and helps me through it even though its really hard for him too. He is not completly gone, he is still there for me and I need to start seeing that.
And soon I will be with him again and till then I will try to stay positive and keep enjoying life as much as possible

[TaraMarie]

I feel that way EVERY TIME. And we technically live together.....all of his household furnishings are here, and he is here fri-mon, but when he leaves on Monday morning to go to work....the week just drags and I can't stand it! Even though we are together every weekend it still kills me when he leaves! Hang in there and STAY BUSY. That definitely helps!

[Lisa hall]

I know how you feel I been with my boyfriend 5 years and I still cry after he leaves I feel like I'm being ungrateful but my boyfriend say it's all in God's hands.i hope that helps.i know it's hard but it worth every minute you get to spend with them.

[lykim]

It's kind of weird that i saw this thread as i am currently in America and leave on Friday and i'm honestly dreading it...I don't want to leave as this has been amazing. I hope we will get through the next months ahead...It's going to be hard.