he broke up. i want to die.

[heartbroken]

i am usually a very strong person. i have got through things in my life because i've had him there, physically or in spirit, always encouraging me. he is the most loveliest, most perfect person in the universe and yesterday my heart broke. it hurts so god damn much

we have been together 6 an a half months, and i last visited in may/june. it was the most beautiful time of my life and he felt the same way. unfortunately his parents don't condone LDR, and his mom thinks he is too young to be so serious. he agrees and says hes felt this for a while but didn'r want to hurt me. was supposed to fly over at new year and.. and..

i understand this may seem like a very emotional, typical teenager post but i
i don't know what to do anymore
i can't live with out
him

i sobbed my heart out yesterday, ran out of my office crying and got sent home. friend took me for some food and i cried even more. i'm a wreck. i'm pathetic.

he won't skype, but turned the call on and muted audio. we usually sleep together every single night, when his laptop works. it doesn't now, but.. i can't sleep without him. i begged him to. i told him i couldn't lose the commnuication

he says he wants to live and experience life but he doesn't want to breakup. he needs to.. he said he loves me so god damn much and hes never cried so much in his wohle life. everything hurts. please make the hurt stop. please somebody make it stop. he said we could be together again at some point

but i want him NOW! i LOVE him! we have been through so much together and he truly made me a better person. i have always been there for him, doted on him, loved him more than i've loved anything in this world.

i need to see him agian. i can't have things end lik ethis.

i get paid from work next friday and i'm going to fly out for a few days. even if it changes nothing, i need to see him. am i fool? perhaps so. but i love him and i cant live withouth him.

i DO have other things in my life. i have friends. i got a promotion at work. i have horses. i'm independent and never made my whole life about him

but now i realize he was my whole life and i am nothing without him, and all i feel is an incomparable sense of loss.

i'm soryr for thetypos, i can barely see the screne through my tears.

[differentcountries]

I can assure you that feeling pain over a breakup you did not want or saw coming is not a teenage thing. It is a human thing. I am not sure how visiting him to get closure will go but I wish you luck and peace with it. You are lucky that your friends care for you and are there to support you through the tough times.

[heartbroken]

i just.. i need to talk to him in person. i need to see his parents. i need to hold him "one last time", i need to kiss him "one last time" until the next time, when our paths cross again and we can be together. ordinarily i wouldnt condone waiting for someone, but i love him so god damn much and hes the only one who has, and ever will matter to me. after all the hurt ive been through, he is my everything. no one else could ever compare. what we are together is inredibly special, and eorhaps thats quite a cliche; but oh my god....... i am nothing without him.

[PrincessJOE]

As DC said, it's always horrible when there's a break up.
If there's only one thing I'd advise though, it's consider letting some time pass before visiting. Obviously, the choice is yours, but even just a week more could give both of you the chance to think about what happened and have a clearer view on the whole thing. Whatever that meeting will bring, at least you'll know that both of you said things you really mean, as "rationally" as it can possibly be in such a hard moment.
Good luck anyway and take care of yourself!

[heartbroken]

i understand.. i just can't let someone whos meant that much to me disapepar. i know this must be hard for ihm too. so very hard. i want to hug him so close. i cant do this by text or even if it had happened over skype video call. i NEED to.. see him. i dont know. i just, i cant. think
.

[R&R]

Breakups are hard both LD or CD. We've all been through it and all of us that are giving you advice have survived, moved forward and have new relationships (and with some of our ages, multiple new relationships).

The advice I'm going to give you is the same advice I've given both my daughters (who are now 19 and 20) and many people on here. Right now you may just skim it but I wish you would come back when your mind is a little more clear and when you can focus a little better.

You, as an individual, are important. Your life needs to be fulfilling on its own and not due to another person. It is critical that you understand that your value as a person is based solely on you and not anyone around you. You need to be able to not only function but LIVE for yourself and by yourself. You learn this as you grow and mature. You should never rely on anyone else for your happiness, your strength, you well-being, your confidence or your worth. Once you have established yourself, any relationship, whether friendships or romantic relationships, should be there to enhance an already full life. This makes it easier also to discern who you want in your life and who you don't. And when heartbreak comes, it's easier to deal with because they weren't your only focus.

Though it doesn't seem it right now, it will get better. You will move forward and you will get through this.

[Ahava]

I can somewhat understand how you feel as we had a crisis resently in our relationship and I was 100 percent sure we would break up.
I went through a lot of hurt and other emotions and cried a lot, because of the thought of losing him.
I know it would take me at least a few days if not nearly a week to get through the worst if that happened, before I could function somehow without being an emotional crying wreck.

He is not my everything, but along with my children he is my closest and dearest person, he is family to me.

I think anyone no matter how much they have going for themselves in their lives, would feel like wanting to die, at least for a couple of days, if they lost their loved one (wether through break up or in another way).
It is not being a teenager (although that first big real love of your life break up as a teenager hurts like no other pain), but like DC said, it's human.
If it hurts at least you know you have loved.

But as others have said, you do and can get over it, it takes time, but the hurt will get smaller and smaller, and then after a while you notice you don't cry anymore and after some more time you think of him less, maybe only once or twice a day, and after a while you will suprise your self by not having thought of him at all during a whole day. You will survive and fall in love again, and in many years to come by you might even find yourself thinking "what was it I saw in him". (I am speaking from experience) A day will come when you don't miss him, feel hate or any other negative feelings nor lust nor love towards him.

Take care of yourself and hugs!

[christchick392]

I'm in my first relationship now(much older than you) but what I can tell you is how valuable and special you are; both
to God and your closest friends and family. Writing here is good(and I'm glad you did) but I would encourage you to buy a notebook or journal, spend an hour a day just letting it fly and see if that helps you to lessen some of the pain and give you perspective. Clearing your mind and getting your balance is the most vital thing now: I would not try to
visit until you've processed this a little more. I hope this helps a little.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

You, as an individual, are important. Your life needs to be fulfilling on its own and not due to another person. It is critical that you understand that your value as a person is based solely on you and not anyone around you. You need to be able to not only function but LIVE for yourself and by yourself. You learn this as you grow and mature. You should never rely on anyone else for your happiness, your strength, you well-being, your confidence or your worth. Once you have established yourself, any relationship, whether friendships or romantic relationships, should be there to enhance an already full life. This makes it easier also to discern who you want in your life and who you don't. And when heartbreak comes, it's easier to deal with because they weren't your only focus.

Though it doesn't seem it right now, it will get better. You will move forward and you will get through this.

So much this! I had my first true heartbreak when I was 18. I didn't see it coming and it absolutely destroyed me. But in all honesty, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. The first couple of months after the breakup were extremely rough, but gradually I got stronger and learned so much about myself. Being that dependent on someone isn't healthy. It was a CD relationship and I literally spent all of my time with him. I was so lost when he was gone. After the break up, I had to learn how to be happy on my own. And guess what? In a short few months I was. Without that time and soul searching and finding how to be happy with myself by myself, I never would have found the strong, healthy relationship that I'm currently in. I honestly owe it all to that self-discovery after the heartbreak.

So my advice to you is this: cry, scream, eat ice cream, watch sappy movies, whatever it is that makes you feel temporarily better. Delete his facebook or skype contact, or whatever else you have from him. Hide those pictures. Try to distract your thoughts every time he comes up and gradually, almost like magic, there will come a time that you think of him less and less and then almost never. Take the time that you would have spent with him to do something healthy and positive for yourself. You will get through this and you will be stronger in the end. Who knows, it may even lead you to the love of your life.

[heartbroken]

Thankyou for the replies im not going to delete him. We had a talk and we are going to remain best friends and get back together some day in the future. It's raw, it hurts like hell and I keep crying but I've calmed down a lot.

[whatruckus]

Thankyou for the replies im not going to delete him. We had a talk and we are going to remain best friends and get back together some day in the future. It's raw, it hurts like hell and I keep crying but I've calmed down a lot.

Honestly, saying that you two might get back together like that and trying to keep the door open for each other like that is a very bad idea. I know you love him, and feel as though you "can't live without him", but the truth is that...you can. You are only 17 years old, according to your profile. You have a full life ahead of you. If he can not be with you right now, and does not want to be with you right now, saying that you two might get back together someday is very wrong.

Feelings change over time, and holding out for someone who may not even feel the same for you in the future is wrong. If I were you, I would take this break up to experience new things, and new people. Yes, maybe you might get together in the future, but at the same time, don't hold your breath. I'm sorry if this is coming off as rude, but I don't want to see you tie yourself down to him and not open yourself up and have all your hopes and dreams only in him. It gives you false hope.

A lot of the times, when people break up, the one doing the dumping usually says that so that they don't hurt the person they're breaking up with any more than they already have. Even if you both agreed to it.

My ex told me that we might get back together in the future, and I believed him for a while. (He's married now)

[Redheart14]

Just take care of yourself. Spend time with friends and keep yourself busy. Best of luck.