We've been together a year come the end of September. We met up this weekend- we see each other every fortnight if we can, though hadn't stayed together for 6 weeks due to his ongoing job seeking commitments and my childcare.
Anyway we had a lovely time, met about 2pm, grabbed some food, watched TV and so on and so forth.
He texted his family goodnight and his mum replied so he asked me to read what she'd said cos he was brushing his teeth 'goodnight hisname,girlsname thanks x'
I'd seen the girls name before in a message that had come in when he was visiting me, but never thought anything of it. Anyway, this time I asked about it- he said the girls name is his ex girlfriend and that she has randomly messaged him with a crisis in the last couple of months, he hasn't seen her since before we met over a year ago, and that they are just, barely, friends. She needed advice and he gave it, nothing more he promised. He said he'd talked to his mum about it and she must have gotten the wrong end of the stick and thought them talking to each other meant they were meeting again. For the record I've never met his family, and he's only met my son once and my mum and dad by accident when he visited (as in, not a planned meeting).
He wanted to leave (we were in a hotel) but it was late and I asked him to stay- he said he gets uncomfortable in confrontational situations, I told him I don't mind him being friends with his ex, it just felt deceitful he hadn't told me about her getting back in touch. He said he hadn't because he didn't want to upset me. Anyway he stayed, we slept in the same bed, and talked the following morning to clear the air somewhat- he said he felt much better, said it was my being upset that upset him. He did admit though he needed some time with himself- it's how he deals with conflict, he shuts himself away- did the same with his own brother a few weeks back as an example.
He kissed me goodbye and told me he'd talk to me soon. Aside from him thanking me for letting him know I got home safely I haven't heard anything from him. I texted goodnight like I normally do, can see he read the message but he hasn't replied or been online all morning. Now I know he said he needed space, so I've not contacted him again but I'm utterly distraught. I don't believe he is cheating on me, I don't believe he is a bad man, but I can't fix this while we are apart and it hurts having to wait I am so sorry and wish I hadn't made such a big deal over something that's turned out to be so innocent.
How does anyone recover from arguments in long distance relationships? How do you resolve the conflict when you can't show them how sorry you are? I dearly love him, and he said yesterday he isn't just going to disappear on me.
I've been hurt in the past and I know I'm tarnishing him with the brush of my ex, but I'm so frightened I'm going to lose him because of my own irrationality.
Help..
Anyway we had a lovely time, met about 2pm, grabbed some food, watched TV and so on and so forth.
He texted his family goodnight and his mum replied so he asked me to read what she'd said cos he was brushing his teeth 'goodnight hisname,girlsname thanks x'
I'd seen the girls name before in a message that had come in when he was visiting me, but never thought anything of it. Anyway, this time I asked about it- he said the girls name is his ex girlfriend and that she has randomly messaged him with a crisis in the last couple of months, he hasn't seen her since before we met over a year ago, and that they are just, barely, friends. She needed advice and he gave it, nothing more he promised. He said he'd talked to his mum about it and she must have gotten the wrong end of the stick and thought them talking to each other meant they were meeting again. For the record I've never met his family, and he's only met my son once and my mum and dad by accident when he visited (as in, not a planned meeting).
He wanted to leave (we were in a hotel) but it was late and I asked him to stay- he said he gets uncomfortable in confrontational situations, I told him I don't mind him being friends with his ex, it just felt deceitful he hadn't told me about her getting back in touch. He said he hadn't because he didn't want to upset me. Anyway he stayed, we slept in the same bed, and talked the following morning to clear the air somewhat- he said he felt much better, said it was my being upset that upset him. He did admit though he needed some time with himself- it's how he deals with conflict, he shuts himself away- did the same with his own brother a few weeks back as an example.
He kissed me goodbye and told me he'd talk to me soon. Aside from him thanking me for letting him know I got home safely I haven't heard anything from him. I texted goodnight like I normally do, can see he read the message but he hasn't replied or been online all morning. Now I know he said he needed space, so I've not contacted him again but I'm utterly distraught. I don't believe he is cheating on me, I don't believe he is a bad man, but I can't fix this while we are apart and it hurts having to wait I am so sorry and wish I hadn't made such a big deal over something that's turned out to be so innocent.
How does anyone recover from arguments in long distance relationships? How do you resolve the conflict when you can't show them how sorry you are? I dearly love him, and he said yesterday he isn't just going to disappear on me.
I've been hurt in the past and I know I'm tarnishing him with the brush of my ex, but I'm so frightened I'm going to lose him because of my own irrationality.
Help..
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