Was it necessary to ask him this?

[veganchick222]

Ok so I've been with this guy over 2 months but on day one he told me his iPhone drops calls and doesn't save contacts therefore he hasn't called me but we do Skype sometimes(busy job) and we text on the kik app. He gets to upgrade his phone September 21st but I told him that kik doesn't really have any other features except texting so I asked if we could in the meantime switch to another app that lets us call each other. My point was that even if we aren't big on calling each other, atleast we'd have that option if there was an emergency and that's what I told him but also without saying it , I was trying to hint that I would just like to communicate with him more.

He said he didn't like those apps and wasn't into the idea I had.this conversation happened tonite and he didn't give me a valid reason yet. We def. seem to be in the same boat when it comes to attraction but this confuses me now. Am I silly for asking this? Is this not a big deal? I mean he must know it's something i want so shouldn't he want it too? Advice please

[differentcountries]

We almost always use the Viber app to call each other, as long as we have wifi. The Viber app is also great for texting and I am in love with their emicons! You can even install Viber as a desktop on your computer (I tried it, just don't want to have it as I share a computer, otherwise I would have kept it).

[Mims27]

No I don't think it was wrong to ask him but some people just don't like to talk on the phone. I'm one of those people. I'd much rather a text or skype. The phone makes me anxious, perhaps he feels like that also?

[Ahava]

It COULD be that he is just reserved and wants to take things slow OR he might be hiding something?

[hmrambling]

I was trying to hint that I would just like to communicate with him more.

In my experience, hinting about what I want doesn't give me a direct answer.

I remind myself that I need to:
1. Close my mouth
2. Breathe
3. Ask for those things I need and want.
a. If the person I'm asking does not help with those things I need and want, I may be asking the wrong person or I may be asking for something I need to do myself.

Be direct. Communicate directly.

I met my gf via match. We messaged on match. Then we emailed. Then we talked on the phone. We soon met in person on a date after talking on the phone. When we said our goodbyes before leaving our first date, she said, "You have my email address if you want to email me."

I replied, "I've met you in person and we've talked on the phone. I don't plan to email you. I will call or you can call me."

To go back to email would have been a regression IMHO. We have talked on the phone nightly ever since, and we text each other good morning. We don't text all the time, usually fewer than 10 texts per day. More talk than texts, for sure. This is the result of being upfront about how I felt in the beginning, and by asking for what I want (and need).

Direct communication goes a long way.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Does anyone else think this is a tad bit fishy? Okay fine, his phone doesn't save contacts and drops calls. So you can't ever talk on the phone? Seems like a lot of excuses, especially the contacts. There are so many ways to getting around that because *gasp* you can manually insert numbers. So he could write down your number on a piece of paper and use that to call you. Who cares if the call gets dropped occasionally? Hell, skype drops calls all the time with poor internet connection!

[veganchick222]

i would think it was sketchy if we havent skyped yet as well. im thinking maybe hes tried to call people in the past and the calls wouldnt go through so thats why he hasnt tried with me. Maybe he isnt a big fan of
Talking on the phone like mims27 wrote above. I told him this afternoon since i still didnt get an answer from him that he just forget i suggested it and he said thank you so i mean its not a big big deal right now but when the 21st comes around ill see if hes up for calling eachother maybe every nite or something and if he says hes not into it ,ill be posting on here again lol.

[R&R]

You guys are only 120 miles (what, 2 hours?) apart. Forget the phone call. Why don't you plan to meet up instead? That's doable, even for just a day trip.

[veganchick222]

Over 3 but, hes a wedding photographer and always busy wth it.hes off sundays but always has something to get done.i still live with my parents who are way old fashioned so if i told them i was dating a guy i met online let alone havent actually met theyll think i have a death wish so i wont be telling them until we have a plan. im also in a bit of a pickle financially so i need to get back on track first then discuss with him if he would come see me first to meet my parents

[Unconditional]

How many weddings go on in conneticut a year for him to be busy like that? I see no reason why he could not take some time off or why he can't just download a calling app. Something is not sitting well with me here.

[R&R]

How many weddings go on in conneticut a year for him to be busy like that? I see no reason why he could not take some time off or why he can't just download a calling app. Something is not sitting well with me here.

And does he have his own business? Because my SO does and a phone that drops calls or doesn't work is immediately taken care of because that is bad for business.

[Demonic Rainbows]

I had a boyfriend once that would always use his phone as an excuse to not contact me. At the end of the day, his phone was working fine and I wasn't asking for anything unreasonable. He was flat out lying to me the whole time.

If you truly need more communication, then really relay that message to him. Don't beat around the bush. Don't be confrontational. Don't give ultimatums... Be clear in what you need and most of all BE REALISTIC. If what he's saying doesn't feel right, then something may be up. I know we always remind each other to control our anxieties, but sometimes they are telling us things for a reason.

It seems like I'm not the only one who thinks something might be up. I hope everything works out, but really take the time to think about what he's saying to you... Does it add up?

[veganchick222]

We've only been dating over 2 months.i guess they do alot of editing and no its not his business but he has an ipad so im thinking he syncs that with his phone and thats how he gets text messages from whoever say his boss for example But , as i wrote that i realized i never thought of that before and i should ask him if he does do that cause thatll mean i can text him normally without an app.

[hmrambling]

he has an ipad so im thinking he syncs that with his phone and thats how he gets text messages from whoever say his boss for example But , as i wrote that i realized i never thought of that before

It's one thing to ask for those things you need (and to clearly communicate what you need), but it's another to buy into excuses. How are you dating for two months with someone who doesn't talk to you on the phone? Surely he is able to communicate with those folks at work somehow... unless they use carrier pigeons... which I seriously doubt.

I would be wondering if he doesn't want to be bothered and is lazy in relationships. I would certainly be curious about it myself. I wouldn't think it was a big deal to call to/from NJ to CT. My last LDR was in CT and I am in LA. We talked regularly. Be direct about what you want. We all have intuition that helps us discern what is true.

I personally like to feel like I am a priority in my partner's life. Getting a daily phone call helps me to know that my partner is interested in setting aside time for us. I wouldn't be standing on my head or begging for phone calls if I wanted them. Surely he has some way to communicate with other people, and I would be curious why he chooses to not call me (if I were you).

[R&R]

It's one thing to ask for those things you need (and to clearly communicate what you need), but it's another to buy into excuses. How are you dating for two months with someone who doesn't talk to you on the phone? Surely he is able to communicate with those folks at work somehow... unless they use carrier pigeons... which I seriously doubt.

I would be wondering if he doesn't want to be bothered and is lazy in relationships. I would certainly be curious about it myself. I wouldn't think it was a big deal to call to/from NJ to CT. My last LDR was in CT and I am in LA. We talked regularly. Be direct about what you want. We all have intuition that helps us discern what is true.

I personally like to feel like I am a priority in my partner's life. Getting a daily phone call helps me to know that my partner is interested in setting aside time for us. I wouldn't be standing on my head or begging for phone calls if I wanted them. Surely he has some way to communicate with other people, and I would be curious why he chooses to not call me (if I were you).

I have to agree to this. And considering it's only a 3 hour drive - that's only 90 minutes if you meet in the middle. After two months and being that close, if it was me, we'd have met by now or I wouldn't continue. I've made just friends online who lived that distance and we met up just to hang out for the afternoon a few weeks in.