I'm sorry if this is really long I just really felt like letting it all out so u can understand were I'm coming from.
I really need some advice because I'm seriously going crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm in a emotionally draining long distance relationship, that I know it's not going anywhere but I'm too attached to that person that I'm not willing to give up.
It all started when I met this guy at the hotel I work at, he was staying there because he was there for a 2 month job and everyday after he got back from work he would come down and stayed with me all night till my shift was over. Well after a few weeks we eventually hooked up a few times but when it was time for him to leave for another job I thought it was gonna end there, since we live in different states and I really thought I wouldn't hear back from him.
Turns out we both developed really strong feelings for one another and we kept the communication going. Until I realized he had a GF it completely broke my heart and I was truly devastated but I loved him sooo much I didn't know what to do so I told him we could only be friends (ya I know pretty stupid) but I was in love with this guy I couldn't just kick him out of my life for ever.
We stop talking for months but then out of the blue he would text me and say that he missed me and that he couldn't stop thinking about me. Every time he would say that I felt worse it came to the point where he would tell me that when he was having sex with his GF all he was thinking about was me. I felt really bad since I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me so I told him to stop talking to me. But he would also tell me that he was willing to give up everything he had with that person to be with me and that seriously made me think twice since he had many things with her like a house, a restaurant, boats, cars, accounts and so much stuff.
I believe him but he told me it would take some time to get everything settled because even though they weren't married the stuff they owned was in both there names. This went on for about 9 months and I seriously thought those were gonna be the hardest 9 months of my life but little did I know what was coming.
During those 9months we barely talk or text because he was afraid his GF would find out about us and use it against him so that made it even worse. Well about a few weeks before Christmas I got a called from him telling me that it was all over with his GF and that they were finally over he moved out of the house to an apartment. When he told me that I felt a sense of relieve and I became the happiest women ever. Everything was going great we had our ups and downs especially since we barely saw each other since we were still living in different states.
When we had our fights he would always bring up leaving his X for me and that I didn't appreciate him because I didn't do what he ask which was really stupid things like not saying GN,GM, answering the phone really quick or send him pictures and that would make me mad because there's was times where I had a really bad day at work where I just wanted to get home and sleep but he would throw a fit if that happen because he automatically assumed I was sleeping with another guy or that I was out partying which is why I didn't send him the pic or called honestly 95% of our fights were because he didn't trust me doing what I told him I was doing.
It went to the point were he would stock my every move on Fb since we weren't friends on it because supposedly he didn't go on his at all which I found out was completely BS but anyways This kept going almost every other day. I didn't know what to do for him to trust me that I eventually gave up, in explaining myself to him I just told him that he could believe what ever he wanted but that I wasn't gonna keep fighting for stupid reasons like that.
He calmed down for a few month and everything was going great that sometimes in the convos we had he would bring up marrying me and wanting to move in together. He would ask me to leave everything I have for him but I told him I wasn't ready because of the problems we had also because I hadn't even introduced him to my family.
We both agreed we would still keep the long distance relationship going but it was gonna be really hard. We both work long hrs and he was constantly moving from state to state because of his job so it was nearly impossible for us to see each other, we only saw each other when his job was in the state I live in which was probably 5 times out of 8 months. I really think that took a toll in our relationship.
Well when he finally had time off from his job he decided to move closer to the state his daughter was in which was 7 hrs away from where I was and it would work great because before we were like 28 hrs away so when he finally moved we decided it was time to introduce him to my whole family which was a little intimidating because we had different ethnicity and he was 7 yrs older than me but we went thru with it and everything went great my family loved him.
After we introduced him we left for a week vacation we had planned for the both of us and that week was the best week of my life, we had so much fun and got to experience what it would be like to live together. Well after that I had to leave for a family vacation and he couldn't come because he had to work.
And before I left we got into a really heated argument about him thinking I sent him a text that was meant for someone else which was completely off and I tried to explain it to him but he wasn't having it after that I tried to call him and he didn't answer so I went to take a shower and when he finally called me back I was getting out of the shower and I trip and hit my leg and my sister heard it and was laughing hysterically and right when I answer he heard her and assumed I was out partying just because I had my music playing in the background and my sisters laughter made it worse.
I tried to explain it, but he didn't let me when I was in the middle of talking he would hang up the phone and decline my calls the last thing he said to me was that it was over and that I was a F liar. Which completely hurt my feelings but I still tried to called him and text him to try to explain what had happen since I didn't wanna leave with him being mad at me.
He finally listen to what I had to say but everything changed after that and to make matters worse I had to leave for the trip. When I left we still weren't on good terms but we were still talking. I would tried to call him and text him but he barely responded to any of them and I felt really bad so I couldn't enjoy myself the whole trip I was really miserable but I tried to hide it from my family since it hadn't even been a month that I had introduced him.
When I got back from my trip I tried to call him so we could straighten everything out but he wouldn't even answer me till the next day and he would say he was too busy with work that he couldn't even respond to any of my msg.
I knew he was completely lying to me because a friend of mine has him on his fb and he would show me the comments and pictures he would upload which where around the time I would text him. I felt really bad and I would cry about it every day ever since then I've been trying to ask him if we're still together or its over but he just keeps telling me that he's still hurt from the last argument we had and that he feels really bad but he can't get over it but he still loves me and cares for me.
I've asked him if he needs time away from me so I won't bother him but he says its up to me but everytime I text him or call him he never answers we've gonna days without having any communications and he doesn't care if I don't text him he doesn't text me at all idk what to do anymore because I've ask him to tell me if its 100% over so I can't move on but he just keeps me hanging and avoids the Q, he acts like I didn't even ask it.
I don't know what to do because Im head over heels for this man but it seems like I'm he only that feels this way. I seriously don't know what to do anymore one part of me is saying to give up and that is over but the other part of me saying to keep trying and that we can't get thru this as well, but how if I'm the only one working on it.
I'm so depressed about this whole situation that it's beginning to show my family keeps asking me what's going on but I just tell them that were fine and that everything is going great. I feel bad for lying to them but it's the only thing I can do since they are very strict about relationships and they would totally feel disappointed of me if I tell them it's already over between us.
Since in our culture your not supposed to introduce someone if you don't think y'all are gonna get serious. Disappointing my parents is the last thing I wanna do so that's why is really hard for me to give up on this relationship, I just really need some advice because I can't ask anyone around me because I can't really trust anyone since everytime I tell someone my problems they end up telling my family. I just really need some advice on what to do because I clearly can't figure it out on my own please don't judge me. I already have enough going on. Thank you for listening I know it's long but I just really need to get it all out.
I really need some advice because I'm seriously going crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm in a emotionally draining long distance relationship, that I know it's not going anywhere but I'm too attached to that person that I'm not willing to give up.
It all started when I met this guy at the hotel I work at, he was staying there because he was there for a 2 month job and everyday after he got back from work he would come down and stayed with me all night till my shift was over. Well after a few weeks we eventually hooked up a few times but when it was time for him to leave for another job I thought it was gonna end there, since we live in different states and I really thought I wouldn't hear back from him.
Turns out we both developed really strong feelings for one another and we kept the communication going. Until I realized he had a GF it completely broke my heart and I was truly devastated but I loved him sooo much I didn't know what to do so I told him we could only be friends (ya I know pretty stupid) but I was in love with this guy I couldn't just kick him out of my life for ever.
We stop talking for months but then out of the blue he would text me and say that he missed me and that he couldn't stop thinking about me. Every time he would say that I felt worse it came to the point where he would tell me that when he was having sex with his GF all he was thinking about was me. I felt really bad since I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me so I told him to stop talking to me. But he would also tell me that he was willing to give up everything he had with that person to be with me and that seriously made me think twice since he had many things with her like a house, a restaurant, boats, cars, accounts and so much stuff.
I believe him but he told me it would take some time to get everything settled because even though they weren't married the stuff they owned was in both there names. This went on for about 9 months and I seriously thought those were gonna be the hardest 9 months of my life but little did I know what was coming.
During those 9months we barely talk or text because he was afraid his GF would find out about us and use it against him so that made it even worse. Well about a few weeks before Christmas I got a called from him telling me that it was all over with his GF and that they were finally over he moved out of the house to an apartment. When he told me that I felt a sense of relieve and I became the happiest women ever. Everything was going great we had our ups and downs especially since we barely saw each other since we were still living in different states.
When we had our fights he would always bring up leaving his X for me and that I didn't appreciate him because I didn't do what he ask which was really stupid things like not saying GN,GM, answering the phone really quick or send him pictures and that would make me mad because there's was times where I had a really bad day at work where I just wanted to get home and sleep but he would throw a fit if that happen because he automatically assumed I was sleeping with another guy or that I was out partying which is why I didn't send him the pic or called honestly 95% of our fights were because he didn't trust me doing what I told him I was doing.
It went to the point were he would stock my every move on Fb since we weren't friends on it because supposedly he didn't go on his at all which I found out was completely BS but anyways This kept going almost every other day. I didn't know what to do for him to trust me that I eventually gave up, in explaining myself to him I just told him that he could believe what ever he wanted but that I wasn't gonna keep fighting for stupid reasons like that.
He calmed down for a few month and everything was going great that sometimes in the convos we had he would bring up marrying me and wanting to move in together. He would ask me to leave everything I have for him but I told him I wasn't ready because of the problems we had also because I hadn't even introduced him to my family.
We both agreed we would still keep the long distance relationship going but it was gonna be really hard. We both work long hrs and he was constantly moving from state to state because of his job so it was nearly impossible for us to see each other, we only saw each other when his job was in the state I live in which was probably 5 times out of 8 months. I really think that took a toll in our relationship.
Well when he finally had time off from his job he decided to move closer to the state his daughter was in which was 7 hrs away from where I was and it would work great because before we were like 28 hrs away so when he finally moved we decided it was time to introduce him to my whole family which was a little intimidating because we had different ethnicity and he was 7 yrs older than me but we went thru with it and everything went great my family loved him.
After we introduced him we left for a week vacation we had planned for the both of us and that week was the best week of my life, we had so much fun and got to experience what it would be like to live together. Well after that I had to leave for a family vacation and he couldn't come because he had to work.
And before I left we got into a really heated argument about him thinking I sent him a text that was meant for someone else which was completely off and I tried to explain it to him but he wasn't having it after that I tried to call him and he didn't answer so I went to take a shower and when he finally called me back I was getting out of the shower and I trip and hit my leg and my sister heard it and was laughing hysterically and right when I answer he heard her and assumed I was out partying just because I had my music playing in the background and my sisters laughter made it worse.
I tried to explain it, but he didn't let me when I was in the middle of talking he would hang up the phone and decline my calls the last thing he said to me was that it was over and that I was a F liar. Which completely hurt my feelings but I still tried to called him and text him to try to explain what had happen since I didn't wanna leave with him being mad at me.
He finally listen to what I had to say but everything changed after that and to make matters worse I had to leave for the trip. When I left we still weren't on good terms but we were still talking. I would tried to call him and text him but he barely responded to any of them and I felt really bad so I couldn't enjoy myself the whole trip I was really miserable but I tried to hide it from my family since it hadn't even been a month that I had introduced him.
When I got back from my trip I tried to call him so we could straighten everything out but he wouldn't even answer me till the next day and he would say he was too busy with work that he couldn't even respond to any of my msg.
I knew he was completely lying to me because a friend of mine has him on his fb and he would show me the comments and pictures he would upload which where around the time I would text him. I felt really bad and I would cry about it every day ever since then I've been trying to ask him if we're still together or its over but he just keeps telling me that he's still hurt from the last argument we had and that he feels really bad but he can't get over it but he still loves me and cares for me.
I've asked him if he needs time away from me so I won't bother him but he says its up to me but everytime I text him or call him he never answers we've gonna days without having any communications and he doesn't care if I don't text him he doesn't text me at all idk what to do anymore because I've ask him to tell me if its 100% over so I can't move on but he just keeps me hanging and avoids the Q, he acts like I didn't even ask it.
I don't know what to do because Im head over heels for this man but it seems like I'm he only that feels this way. I seriously don't know what to do anymore one part of me is saying to give up and that is over but the other part of me saying to keep trying and that we can't get thru this as well, but how if I'm the only one working on it.
I'm so depressed about this whole situation that it's beginning to show my family keeps asking me what's going on but I just tell them that were fine and that everything is going great. I feel bad for lying to them but it's the only thing I can do since they are very strict about relationships and they would totally feel disappointed of me if I tell them it's already over between us.
Since in our culture your not supposed to introduce someone if you don't think y'all are gonna get serious. Disappointing my parents is the last thing I wanna do so that's why is really hard for me to give up on this relationship, I just really need some advice because I can't ask anyone around me because I can't really trust anyone since everytime I tell someone my problems they end up telling my family. I just really need some advice on what to do because I clearly can't figure it out on my own please don't judge me. I already have enough going on. Thank you for listening I know it's long but I just really need to get it all out.
Comment