Scared I may never see him again

[BryansGirl]

He lives with his parents and he is having trouble finding a job His mom has came 20 minutes away from my town but refuses to bring him here and refuses to us go get him since he won't have a way back home. She said she is not going to make special trips just to bring him to see me. If i go visit him it would have to be for a day trip only and it won't happen often at all if any since I don't have a ride. I have looked into bus trips but by the time I got there I woudn't have any time to spend with him or a way to get from the bus station to his house which is 20 miles away from each other. I feel like his mom just wants us to break up which is why she has no plans in bringing him to visit we were planning on november but his mom said no it doesn't make sense for her to drive 160 miles just to bring him here. every time we have asked it has been a no even though they go to a town 20 minutes away to get his stepbrother they refuse to drive the extra 20 minutes to get him here.

[Ejoriah]

Is there no way you could get to the next town and meet up there?

[Moon]

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's not his mother's responsibility to taxi him around, and if she refuses to go 20 minutes out of her way, well that's it then. Sorry about that. His stepbrother is family, you aren't. At 21, you're no longer a kid, figure it out. Like Ejoriah said, can't you go to the town 20 minutes away? If you and he want this badly enough, one of you can get a car, can't you? Or a job that'll allow one of you a junker, at least. Stop blaming his mother and fix the problem, your distance and age means you should be able to find a solution on your own. Good luck

[BryansGirl]

[QUOTE=Moon;405871]I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's not his mother's responsibility to taxi him around, and if she refuses to go 20 minutes out of her way, well that's it then. Sorry about that. His stepbrother is family, you aren't. At 21, you're no longer a kid, figure it out. Like Ejoriah said, can't you go to the town 20 minutes away? If you and he want this badly enough, one of you can get a car, can't you? Or a job that'll allow one of you a junker, at least. Stop blaming his mother and fix the problem, your distance and age means you should be able to find a solution on your own. Good luck[/QUOTE


I don't mean to sound harsh but didn't you read. He is applying for jobs he has just moved a month ago it's taking him a while to find a job he had to quit his job to move. 2nd of all meeting up in the next town is not an option since he would need a ride back home once the weekend is over which he would not have, and he is only in that town for less then 5 minutes to pick the boy up and leave then he goes right back home.

He was not going to move the only reason he did move was because his mom said she would drive him here. Which now that he moved she changed her mind, She lied to him saying she would just to get him to go with her. I just don't get why she can't go 20 minutes further or at least let us pick him up in the next town we have offered to get him from the next town when they go She said no that it's not an option don't you think we thought of that.

and technically Im family to since me and him are engaged we just haven't been able to afford to move out since I am in college and can't get a job until I graduate because a job will effect me getting the funds needed from Financial aid to even attend college and he is struggling to find another job since they live in such a small town.

[BryansGirl]

I have even planned to get a bus there but they won't pick me up from the bus station and since it takes 5 hours on bus by the time I get there I will have to leave. and I am not allowed to spend the night at his house. His mom won't let me spend the weekend there because she is scared we will have sex and she doesn't want us to

[Moon]

[QUOTE=BryansGirl;405874]

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's not his mother's responsibility to taxi him around, and if she refuses to go 20 minutes out of her way, well that's it then. Sorry about that. His stepbrother is family, you aren't. At 21, you're no longer a kid, figure it out. Like Ejoriah said, can't you go to the town 20 minutes away? If you and he want this badly enough, one of you can get a car, can't you? Or a job that'll allow one of you a junker, at least. Stop blaming his mother and fix the problem, your distance and age means you should be able to find a solution on your own. Good luck[/QUOTE


I don't mean to sound harsh but didn't you read. He is applying for jobs he has just moved a month ago it's taking him a while to find a job he had to quit his job to move. 2nd of all meeting up in the next town is not an option since he would need a ride back home once the weekend is over which he would not have, and he is only in that town for less then 5 minutes to pick the boy up and leave then he goes right back home.

He was not going to move the only reason he did move was because his mom said she would drive him here. Which now that he moved she changed her mind, She lied to him saying she would just to get him to go with her. I just don't get why she can't go 20 minutes further or at least let us pick him up in the next town we have offered to get him from the next town when they go She said no that it's not an option don't you think we thought of that.

and technically Im family to since me and him are engaged we just haven't been able to afford to move out since I am in college and can't get a job until I graduate because a job will effect me getting the funds needed from Financial aid to even attend college and he is struggling to find another job since they live in such a small town.

It doesn't matter if you don't get why his mom doesn't taxi her adult son around, she chose not to, end of story, if you can't figure out a way to see each other, that's not his mother's problem. Also, engaged doesn't mean you're family, but it does mean you should be adult enough to begin fixing your own problems, without relying on your parents. That's just the reality of it, whether you like it or not.

[BryansGirl]

[QUOTE=Moon;405876]

It doesn't matter if you don't get why his mom doesn't taxi her adult son around, she chose not to, end of story, if you can't figure out a way to see each other, that's not his mother's problem. Also, engaged doesn't mean you're family, but it does mean you should be adult enough to begin fixing your own problems, without relying on your parents. That's just the reality of it, whether you like it or not.

She doesn't even have to bring him to my house. When her or her husband go to pick up his stepbrother we have offered to go pick him up for her from there to keep her from going out of her way all she has to do is leave him there for us to pick him up and yet she says no to that even though we have offered to go get him... and again we are trying everything we physically can do. Like I said I can get a bus but I am not allowed to spend the night at his house because she doesn't want him to have sex with me. Also the bus station is 20 miles from his house and noone will be there to get me to his house and taxi's don't go out to his house because he lives far out in the country... and again if she would not have lied and said she would have brought him back he would not have moved in the first place she tricked him into moving by saying she would bring him to visit... He was going to stay in wilson until she lied to him...

[BryansGirl]

I know she is doing it to break us up considering they have been trying to set him up with other girls up there and they said i'm not the one for him.

There is NO reason she can't let us pick him up in the next town since she has to go there anyway. We have OFFERED to go get him FOR her and take him back to that town to be picked up when she drops the other boy off back at home. but she still says NO. She has to go there anyway so why she can't just let us pick him up there doesn't make any sense

[snow]

Find someone who has a car and would be willing to do the trip for you if you payed gas money. There is ways to go about this and if his mom is not helping, you will have to figure out a way.

[BryansGirl]

I am working on that to.. My one friend works all the time and my other friend goes to college they can take me but theres no guarantee when.

[Moon]

I know she is doing it to break us up considering they have been trying to set him up with other girls up there and they said i'm not the one for him.

There is NO reason she can't let us pick him up in the next town since she has to go there anyway. We have OFFERED to go get him FOR her and take him back to that town to be picked up when she drops the other boy off back at home. but she still says NO. She has to go there anyway so why she can't just let us pick him up there doesn't make any sense

Because she doesn't want to. That's the thing, she doesn't approve of you for whatever reason, or just him being in a relationship, so there is no way she is going to help facilitate a meeting. I can't make it clearer. She doesn't want to and she's not obligated to, regardless if it makes sense to you or not, so it's 100% up to the two of you to see each other without parental help. Period. It may suck, but that's how life goes sometimes. You move on and find an alternative method. There might not be many to chose from, but they're there, be creative and figure it out. I'm not unsympathetic, but I'm a realist, and if you want to see him, this is what you have to do.

[BryansGirl]

she used to love me she would bring him here all the time before they moved and would let me stay over there all the time. she said I was the best girl he has ever dated. I just wish she would not have lied and said she would let him visit me because if she told him the truth from the beginning he would not have moved. She lets him spend the night here but never me with him. I'm not allowed to stay overnight there which I have never understood why he could stay with me but not the other way around. and she doesn't even need his moms help to get here. all he has to do is ride with her to his step brothers house and stay there but she makes him go home with her. It was a bitch move to Lie to him to get him to move. He said if he knew she wouldn't let him visit he would NOT have moved to begin with. If she had no plans to bring him to visit she should have said that so he would not have moved. I mean what is so hard with letting him stay at his step brothers house to go get him since they go there anyway its not out of her way and they will be there no matter what.. I offered just yesterday to go pick him up from pikeville when they got there. and like I said he is applying for jobs they made him quit his job to move so he is looking a new job

[BryansGirl]

and if you again READ you will see I have looked into all options from him getting dropped off here us picking him up at his stepbrothers house, Me get a bus there but since taxis aren't available to go to his house that's not an option. I am willing to pay for a bus to get there but I would need a ride from the bus station to his house which I have no way of getting since taxi's do not go there... I have my uncle looking me a car since he gets scrap cars that sometimes nothing is wrong with, Just have to wait for him to actually find me one.

[differentcountries]

I know she is doing it to break us up considering they have been trying to set him up with other girls up there and they said i'm not the one for him.

There is NO reason she can't let us pick him up in the next town since she has to go there anyway. We have OFFERED to go get him FOR her and take him back to that town to be picked up when she drops the other boy off back at home. but she still says NO. She has to go there anyway so why she can't just let us pick him up there doesn't make any sense

Perhaps you are right that she is trying to break you up. That could explain why she is so reluctant to assist you, even if you are his fiance. But if this is true, then complaining about it is not going to help, in fact you becoming upset may be what she wants. You simply have to look into every option there is and find a solution.

[Moon]

and if you again READ you will see I have looked into all options from him getting dropped off here us picking him up at his stepbrothers house, Me get a bus there but since taxis aren't available to go to his house that's not an option. I am willing to pay for a bus to get there but I would need a ride from the bus station to his house which I have no way of getting since taxi's do not go there... I have my uncle looking me a car since he gets scrap cars that sometimes nothing is wrong with, Just have to wait for him to actually find me one.

You know what? Stop telling me to read, and cut your shitty attitude. I just deleted a very helpful post after seeing that, I'm done with your helplessness.