Dating a Divorced Man
Hello, first post here! Hopefully I will not be judged too harshly...
A couple of years ago, I worked with someone who was funny, charming, wildly attractive, and just overall a great person. However, he was married, and I wasn't about to actively pursue or mess with a married man. However I will admit we both flirted with each other and I remember us spending a lot of time talking at work. None of the interactions or conversations were inappropriate, but we both had a crush on each other.
A year after that, I moved. We kept in contact through text/social media but it was very platonic, very irregular and he would only ask me questions related to our career. Fast forward another year to now. A few weeks ago we started talking though texting/social media again. I found he had gotten a divorce a few months back (the cause was not his fault), but ever since we've been talking daily. Our conversations have been great and quite deep already. And, believe it or not, I'm already going to see him in less than a month! I'm a bit scared things will be awkward at first, but I feel like even after 2 years of not seeing him we will have a great time. We are not in any sort of official relationship right now, but I do hope things will go that way (although I have kept in mind thing may not work out). If things do work out, it will be difficult because of the distance, but in the end it may be worth it.
Well, that's the background. Now to my concerns.
His divorce happened 6 months ago, which is still quite recent in my book. I fear being compared to his ex... I fear his ex coming back to get at me... I fear old co-workers will have wrong opinions... I fear he isn't ready. I fear we will go too far too fast and things will blow up in our face. Perhaps I should just take things one day at a time. Would love some advice on dating a divorced man and on LDR especially (although this isn't my first one... before this I was in another one with someone from a different country... that I never met. Obviously didn't work and I told myself no more LDRs.. oops!).
Any comments or advice is very welcome. Also very interested to hear similar stories if they are out there!
A couple of years ago, I worked with someone who was funny, charming, wildly attractive, and just overall a great person. However, he was married, and I wasn't about to actively pursue or mess with a married man. However I will admit we both flirted with each other and I remember us spending a lot of time talking at work. None of the interactions or conversations were inappropriate, but we both had a crush on each other.
A year after that, I moved. We kept in contact through text/social media but it was very platonic, very irregular and he would only ask me questions related to our career. Fast forward another year to now. A few weeks ago we started talking though texting/social media again. I found he had gotten a divorce a few months back (the cause was not his fault), but ever since we've been talking daily. Our conversations have been great and quite deep already. And, believe it or not, I'm already going to see him in less than a month! I'm a bit scared things will be awkward at first, but I feel like even after 2 years of not seeing him we will have a great time. We are not in any sort of official relationship right now, but I do hope things will go that way (although I have kept in mind thing may not work out). If things do work out, it will be difficult because of the distance, but in the end it may be worth it.
Well, that's the background. Now to my concerns.
His divorce happened 6 months ago, which is still quite recent in my book. I fear being compared to his ex... I fear his ex coming back to get at me... I fear old co-workers will have wrong opinions... I fear he isn't ready. I fear we will go too far too fast and things will blow up in our face. Perhaps I should just take things one day at a time. Would love some advice on dating a divorced man and on LDR especially (although this isn't my first one... before this I was in another one with someone from a different country... that I never met. Obviously didn't work and I told myself no more LDRs.. oops!).
Any comments or advice is very welcome. Also very interested to hear similar stories if they are out there!
Everybody compares to some degree. I can't promise you you won't get hurt, betrayed, or mistreated, that can happen in any type of relationship. Any new relationship has some aspect of risk to it, so go slow and see where it goes. Don't tell your old co-workers for a while either, see if there's something being worth talked about for first. Dating a divorced man doesn't have to be scary, especially when it sounds like he doesn't even have kids. At this point in your like, most guys you date will have ex's, even if they're just girlfriends, so it's not a really big deal. Good luck.
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