advice with being comforting

[kirababyy31]

I'll start with a brief summary. My fiance and I have known eachother 10 years. You could say we were old highschool sweethearts that found our way back to eachother 10 years later. we've been doing long distance for 4 months now. I like to think our relationship is great! except when he's stressed out and out of town at work I have no idea how to comfort him? words of comfort is not something I've ever gotten (with the excpetion of my fiance) and it's just not something I've ever been good at and "I'm sorry" is just not enough! I know what he's stressed bout and I want nothing more than to be his strenght and comfort in thesse hard times but I have no idea what to say to him. for instance; right now he's stressed out with work. he feels alone, over worked and disrespcted by his boss and co workers. I said "I'm sorry baby" but i feel like that was the wrong thing to say. Idk how to make him feel better idk what to say and I feel like I'm failing him and making him feel even more alone which is not what I want to do.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

[sasad]

Listen to what he is saying...not just hear the words. Most people do not do that..
Instead of "I'm sorry, you had a bad day " try, "I understand how frustrating it must be when your boss does not see how quickly you closed that account" etc... Get the convo started enough with him, and maybe you will be able to offer advice, or maybe he will see it's really not so bad if he talks it through with someone that is listening. It could be he is tired, lonely, or just doesn't like his job. Empathize.
There is lots of good reading on listening and using better words then "I'm sorry" on the internets.

[kirababyy31]

Listen to what he is saying...not just hear the words. Most people do not do that..
Instead of "I'm sorry, you had a bad day " try, "I understand how frustrating it must be when your boss does not see how quickly you closed that account" etc... Get the convo started enough with him, and maybe you will be able to offer advice, or maybe he will see it's really not so bad if he talks it through with someone that is listening. It could be he is tired, lonely, or just doesn't like his job. Empathize.
There is lots of good reading on listening and using better words then "I'm sorry" on the internets.

It's definetly all of the above. Thank You! I will try that. he works hard and very long hours so I want him to know my appreciation and that he has my support.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I've also learned that guys tend to just want you to listen. They don't necessarily want or need comforting words or advice. Everyone is different, but I have had to learn how to respond to my SO when he vents about a bad day vs. my friends. It is completely different. My SO would way rather I'm just there listening and maybe saying "it will get better" or that "he's the smartest guy I know, so he will find a way through this" or that "I have complete faith in him and his abilities". It may not apply to everything your SO says, but I try to mostly say things from the heart in response. Sometimes you just need to know that someone is rooting for you.