Boyfriend is only able to talk about one thing.

[Secrecy]

This isn't really asking for advice, though if you wanna pitch in your two cents, I'm okay with that. It's more just a little vent than anything.

To anyone who keeps up with my posts, they know that my boyfriend works at a vape shop. He has recently pretty much gained it as his own, so he works 6 days a week, 10 hour shifts each day. His friends are all from the vaping community. In the passed, my boyfriend used to be really easily interested in a whole host of things, and be able to talk about all sorts of topics, even if they weren't necessarily what he was "interested" in or a hobby of his. Since moving and taking this shop as his own, and gaining friends who are only in the vaping community, literally all he can converse about is vaping. Even when I try and steer the conversation towards something else he can't seem to manage any sort of significant response. But when I bring up something vape-related? He's all over that like white on rice. It's like he's been SO INTENSELY immersed in this culture that he doesn't remember how to talk about anything else because he's talking about vaping literally over twelve hours a day, most days.

I've noticed that when I visit him or vice versa, and he's dragged from that sort of environment, I notice he "opens up" more and starts being able to converse more easily about other subjects again. I don't really think this is a coincidence.

I know he enjoys vaping and I don't mind him talking about it because I am interested in his passions, whether or not I'm into them or not. But when he can barely manage to talk about anything else...? It makes me miss the talk-about-everything-all-the-time boyfriend that I used to have.

[R&R]

Have you tried to set a time frame on it? Explain though you are happy to listen, that you have found this is all he wants to discuss and you would like to talk about other topics. Set, say, 10 minutes to discuss vaping and the rest of the conversation needs to be about other things. If he can't find anything else to talk about, maybe this will open his eyes to how much his life revolves around this.

[Secrecy]

Have you tried to set a time frame on it? Explain though you are happy to listen, that you have found this is all he wants to discuss and you would like to talk about other topics. Set, say, 10 minutes to discuss vaping and the rest of the conversation needs to be about other things. If he can't find anything else to talk about, maybe this will open his eyes to how much his life revolves around this.

I have not done that exactly, but I do think he knows how much he talks about it, and he actually has expressed frustration with it. I remember once I finally decided to bring it up to him that he talks about vaping a lot and he's become a lot like the people he's complained about in the past (he once said that he was bothered by how the people who are hobbyist vapers seem to only be able to talk about vape related things). He says he's realized and he doesn't like it, and he's felt on occasion that while he like vaping, because of how much he's around people who are into it, and working at a place that sells vape gear and stuff, he feels like he's "forced" to be more into it than he otherwise would be. He thinks this has conditioned him to being able to talk only about that. I just don't think he knows how to get out of that cycle when he's spending so much of his time there a day, and to be honest, I don't know how to help him because I've never been in that predicament before.

It's the "variety is the spice of life" thing - he doesn't have that and I think it's stunted him a bit.

[differentcountries]

I think that is a danger in jobs that are intense. For instance, when SO worked in a restaurant 10+ hours a day 7 days a week, all he talked about after workwas the restaurant, waiting, guests, food, the boss, and anything else related to restaurant work. Now he works in a hammam, and I am really looking forward to him nerding about hammam life instead!

[hmrambling]

Some hobbies are like this. I run. If I don't watch myself, I find myself talking endlessly about running. This isn't terribly uncommon for runners to do. However, when my friends say something, I tend to wrangle myself in and talk less about running. It helps when a person stays up on current events and is willing to talk about his/her thoughts, hopes, dreams, and whatever inspires him/her.

Sometimes my SO will say, "I've heard this story before" or "Wow, that's a lot about running" or "I get it: you are really excited about running." I get the point and I move on. I might not wrangle it in all by myself. I can usually tell by what others have to say that they've heard enough about running.

Communication is key here.

[Svbummin]

I would think that running any kind of store/shop can be stressful, or overwhelming at first. He's probably concerned about making sure things will run smoothly, and its probably all he can think about. i would hope once he figures out a routine, and gets more comfortable...things might change for the better.