No worries. When I got married I intended it to be for life. When it didn't happen that way I felt like a failure. I had to grieve. I've been separated for years but I am still not divorced yet. My ex has not been a place mentally to process that yet but thankfully now he is, so we are now starting mediation and hopefully once we agree on everything the divorce will be quick and clean.
My SO knows and accepts this. I have been completely honest with him all the way through. I do not consider that I had an affair because my ex had already left and we were separated before things moved on with SO. I hate that I'm still married though. If I could have made things happen more quickly then I would have. But I had to think about my children, they need a father and he would have almost certainly had a breakdown if I had pushed for a quick divorce and dragged up all the abuse through the courts. I wasn't able to deal with it myself either, I wasn't strong enough.
I guess all I'm saying is every marriage is different, each break up is unique. Nothing is completely black and white. However, back to the OP I do think this is a very bad situation. She needs to separate completely if that's what she wants. Until then I would steer clear. Jumping straight from one relationship into another is a disaster waiting to happen. She will need time alone to heal in order to be a truly healthy person.
My SO knows and accepts this. I have been completely honest with him all the way through. I do not consider that I had an affair because my ex had already left and we were separated before things moved on with SO. I hate that I'm still married though. If I could have made things happen more quickly then I would have. But I had to think about my children, they need a father and he would have almost certainly had a breakdown if I had pushed for a quick divorce and dragged up all the abuse through the courts. I wasn't able to deal with it myself either, I wasn't strong enough.
I guess all I'm saying is every marriage is different, each break up is unique. Nothing is completely black and white. However, back to the OP I do think this is a very bad situation. She needs to separate completely if that's what she wants. Until then I would steer clear. Jumping straight from one relationship into another is a disaster waiting to happen. She will need time alone to heal in order to be a truly healthy person.
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