is it worth it?

[barcodepapel]

Im a 21yr old female, been with my bf for 6 years, 4 have been long distance
and honestly, Im losing will power to keep working on this. We have drifted apart this semester, he told me he likes another girl (we;re pretty honest with eachother about everything), not as in he wants to be with her, but he does care for her and she obviously cares for him. And last night he texted "I miss having a girlfriend", and then corrected it to "My gilfriend*", and i just cant help but wonder if i should just let him go... next year is going to be really hard, we might not see eachtoher from january till probably octiber or november... and I dont know, I love him to death but we've been apart for so long and have no date in sight for closing the distance permanently and... PLEASE HELP? I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO GETS THIS

[Kristin91]

On a website where we're all going through a long-distance relationship, I think most of us will tell you that yes it's worth it- FOR US. For those of us that have stuck it out (some people for years), it's because we'd rather be in a LDR with our SO than with anyone else in the world. You have to decide for yourself if a LDR is right for you.

That said, we understand what you're going through. When the going gets tough you have to figure out what works for you- for me that was creating a countdown so I could cross of the days until I see my SO again, and on some days calling his phone just to hear his voicemail message and hear a piece of his voice. When you have the time you call/ Skype/ email/ etc. And you distract yourself the best you can by keeping busy with work/school, hobbies, and other activities.

I think it also wouldn't hurt to sit down and have an honest conversation with each other about how you're both feeling. From your post it sounds like you really need that from him.

I hope my post was a little bit helpful, and welcome to LFAD!

[MissingMyDutchLove]

It really comes down to that ^^^. You have been LD for long enough to know that you have good and bad moments and that sometimes it feels impossible. At the end of the day though, you have to realize that either it's worth it (regardless of not having a time frame for closing the distance) or that you simply cannot do it anymore. My one concern with your post is that it sounds like you want to "lt him go" to make his life easier. You can't do that. Either you want it or you don't, but you can't make decisions for him. If he isn't happy or wants something or someone else, he has to be the one to say that he wants more or something different. You can't protect the people you love by doing that. At the end of the day, it isn't your right to choose that for someone else.

[Ejoriah]

I think LDRs are worth it... but only if the two people in them want to make it work. Otherwise it is a one-sided relationship that is absolutely emotionally draining.

I agree with Kristin91 that you need to have a long talk with him and figure out where you both are, and maybe how things can be improved for the two of you (more frequent skype calls, letters, time set aside for each other... whatever works). I would feel very hurt if my SO was telling me there was another girl he likes, though. That's a tough situation to be in.

[Honour]

Some might say keep on fighting and keep on going. Others would say "well..."

I'm going to say do what you need to do, and your SO needs to do what he needs to do also. What's best for you, and what's best for him. Only you both can decide this, because your situation is unique to yourselves, and having an honest, open-minded conversation about things is probably the way forward for you both.