We're on a break.

[TheSteelAngel]

What is up with our Philly guys in the "not giving enough back" department? I could smack them both lol. Hugs

[whatruckus]

Thank you everyone. I know that some of the replies I got weren't what I wanted to hear, but I know that you guys are absolutely right. And I did make it a point this time to tell him that I can't be the only one trying to fix myself. That, last time, he said he was going to work on himself and get help and he didn't.

Again, I don't know what the outcome is going to be. But, if we actually can patch things up, I'm not going to be so meek this time around. Slowly, but surely, I've been gaining confidence in speaking up when he does crap that pisses me off.

But, I know I definitely need to get it together for my own sake. I'm tired of living at home with my parents and being dependent. I need to get my butt in gear and figure out what I want to do with my life and my career, otherwise no one will want to date someone like me, not just my SO.

I'll still occasionally be around here. I'm not going anywhere. Also, thank you to those who FB messaged me, I'm not ignoring you. I just didn't know what to say at the time. I stayed home from work today because when I woke up, I legitimately did not feel well at all. I needed to take the day to sleep and just think and get the crying out, or as much crying as I could.

I really do appreciate everyone on here and everyone's concerns and the love and support that I get from you guys. I know you guys will be as honest as possible with me and I wouldn't expect anything less. Thank you all and I love all of you.

[MissButterfly]

I'm so glad to hear that you are working on standing up for yourself, whatever the outcome of this is. Sending you lots of hugs

[Ella85]

I might not have any good advice for you. But I'm just a facebook message away if you ever need to rant/vent or otherwise. *hugs*

[snow]

I feel so bad for you I hope things work out and he sees you for what you're worth!

[bartinkopl]

Hopefully everything will be okay! Take care

[whatruckus]

Thanks everyone.

The more I talk about it with people, the better I feel. I'm surprised at how much support I've been getting, both from you guys, and my friends back in Philly (figured I should let them know before they started texting me, asking me where I was). SO and I have been sort of talking. But, not the usual way. Obviously. I've just made it very clear to him that I can not be the only one trying this time. It's frankly not that hard for me to fix what I need to fix, I just need to get off my butt and be productive. But, his mental and emotional state really needs to be worked on. Again, I made clear that he seemed to be the only one who really had a problem here and couldn't control his state of mind as well as he thought he could. At this point, I know if he can't help himself he will never be happy. Not just with me, but with anyone else, and most importantly...himself.

I'm fine for the most part, but of course he is on the back of my mind constantly.