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    #1

    I'm New to This LDR

    Hey Guys,
    I'm new to this LDR well I just wanted to know some advice well I was chatting on December on the 20th and I came across this amazing and funny girl so we started to talk a lot and we both relized that I made her happy and she made me happy. But the bad thing was we both lived in different places and that really sucked but we gaved a try so now we started to just falling to each other and now I don't what to do she seem upset and also me but I don't want to lose her. And that's why I'm here I need some advice well I hope this helps
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    #2
    Welcome to LFAD. Do you know why she seems upset?

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      #3
      Originally posted by TheSteelAngel View Post
      Welcome to LFAD. Do you know why she seems upset?
      Because we're far apart and it's hard for us to be together

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        #4
        Is this the first LDR you've ever been in? It probably is, and if it is, you should know it does take awhile for both parties to get used to the whole idea, getting into some kind of routine with communication, balanced with real life duties/day to day activities. Sometimes people can't handle LDRs. Everyone's tolerances are different.

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          #5
          How far apart are you?
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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            #6
            Hi, I'm not new to LDR I've already been in two and their not easy at all.
            My recent relationship was kinda like what you're going through, we were in a ldr for about a year and he got annoyed with the fact that we never met in person and that he felt as though we never were going to meet. You guys have only been together for a short amount of time, meeting this early probably isn't the best thing to do (just my opinion). Maybe give it some time, get to know her better and make sure that she's the one for you.

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              #7
              Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
              How far apart are you?
              Almost 1000 miles apart

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                #8
                Welcome YMBNY!

                We're glad you've found us. Long distance relationships (LDR) are hard. Really hard. It can often be difficult to cope with the distance, but this does not mean it is impossible.

                I have been in a LDR for over a year, and this is what I have learned so far. Sorry if it's too long! I would say there are a few things that you need to do at the beginning of a LDR that can help you emotionally. The first is that you will both have to mourn the fact that this is not a close distance relationship and therefore looks quite different. You can't spend every weekend together, or hang out with each other's friends, or just spend Thursday nights cuddling and watching movies. That is not the reality for you right now, and that's something to address and mourn as you get into this. Talk about it together, acknowledge that it's different, but then, move on. You can't focus on that for the entirety of the relationship of you will be depressed the whole time. It might come and go in waves. Embrace it, feel it, and then let it go. After that you need to focus on the positives. My boyfriend and I, on our first skype date after he moved (for the military) we lit candles, played soft music and wrote letters to ourselves about why this long distance relationship is worth it. It's nice to have to pull out and read when you're feeling particularly down. Plus it's super romantic. The next thing is to find your way of coping. Usually this involves keeping busy so you don't dwell on your relationship too much. Go spend time with friends, walk around a park, do a puzzle, play a game, build a table, join a club, play an instrument, write, whatever it is you find helpful. This forum is a great place to provide support to others, and also get that support when the distance is getting to you. Try to help your family and friends get to know her (I tell stories about what he does or says so they get an idea about who he is), let them know that you miss her, but don't let it be the only thing you talk or think about. Still be yourself, just because you are in a LDR doesn't mean it becomes your entire life. I would say most of all, communicate. This is all you have in a LDR so learn how to do it well together. Have the hard conversations. Be open and honest. Find out what makes her feel loved, and do that. In a LDR it is important to feel connected to each other since you can't connect physically, but there will be times you're both busy or something happens and that connection is lost for a few hours or days. Just keep working through it, the ups and downs and the in-betweens. And remember that a lot gets lost in communication through technology so be patient with one another and find ways to grow together.

                That's all the advice I have at the moment. Good luck to you both! I hope this relationship works out for you! It is certainly worth it for the right person.

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