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Is it right feeling disappointed about this?

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    #31
    Glad you found your voice. Figure out what is acceptable and unacceptable for you and make those your ground rules. When unacceptable behavior pops up, don't accept unacceptable behavior.

    What I mean by this is that I spent nearly a year in a relationship with a woman who insisted on keeping me a secret. Her keeping me a secret enabled me to feel small, not important, and not a priority. I allowed that mindset to seep from our relationship into my concept of my own self worth. A friend told me that I prostituted my self worth (by allowing the woman to define me - by keeping me a secret.) That was the beginning of the end of us. When I saw that I had tolerated unacceptable behavior and that I would no longer tolerate unacceptable behavior is when I finally broke up with her.

    Hell, I've had plenty of girlfriends who were proud to call me their partner, proud to introduce me to family and friends, proud to take me out. Plenty! Who in the hell is this person that I was sticking around who wanted to keep me a secret? When I finally saw that perspective and reminded myself that PLENTY of people would be (had been) proud to call me their girlfriend, it reminded me that there were so many folks out there worthy of my time.

    Make yourself a priority and remember your self worth.

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      #32
      Glad to hear you made a decision that was right for you! No matter who comes into your life, you are always the top priority, and if you don't feel good or safe with someone, nothing obligates you to follow their rules.

      ~
      It'll take a lot more than words and guns
      A whole lot more than riches and muscle
      The hands of the many must join as one
      And together we'll cross the river

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        #33
        Originally posted by Zezima View Post
        She's actually asian and her family is conservative. They wouldn't mind if a guy is from another race. She told me her best friends might tell her parents about me and that's why she doesn't want her friends to know about me in the first place.
        It's definitely understandable that not all families are very welcoming to a new partner like that, and as said before, I understand how some people are more private and need to take things slower with telling others. Still, none of that excuses that in a pinch, she'd rather abandon you than help you out. All of that tells me she is in no position to have a relationship right now.

        ~
        It'll take a lot more than words and guns
        A whole lot more than riches and muscle
        The hands of the many must join as one
        And together we'll cross the river

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          #34
          Originally posted by Zezima View Post
          She's actually asian and her family is conservative. They wouldn't mind if a guy is from another race. She told me her best friends might tell her parents about me and that's why she doesn't want her friends to know about me in the first place.
          But where in Asia? I read through the thread(since this is my first post on the thread), and I didn't even see a mention of the closest city.

          Because, There are similarities, and there a differences, in the cultures'. From one country to the next, on the Asian continent(Japan, China, Taiwan, S. Korea, N. Korea, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, Burma, Philippines, Borneo, Malaysia).

          Her family may accept you. But her friends' may even be, more conservative than her family.

          First Visit: September 2016
          Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
          Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

          John 3:16
          For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
          John 4:12
          I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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            #35
            Originally posted by Honour View Post
            I think you're being played for a fool. 2 years is long enough to tolerate that kinda bullshit, if I were you, I'd cancel the visit.
            I have to agree with this, definitely.

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