Local relationship would turn to LDR

[Koeki]

*deepbreath*

I joined specifically to get advice on this so please be gentle.

I am not what most people would call beautiful; I realize this. On top of that I have mental disorders. So, I joined Tinder 2 nights ago thinking that it couldn't hurt and I might find someone who might be interested in me long enough to at least take me out for coffee or a meal before telling me they couldn't deal with my issues.

Then I met the guy who caused me to sign up here. We'll call him L.

L was the second match on Tinder but the only person to respond to me. He is cute and kind. He is French! But that is also the bad news. He'll be going back to France in June, as he is here on contract with the company he works for and there's no telling if/when he'll be back.

I really liked talking to him, but I'm wondering if it is worth the possible heartache of getting attached to someone for only a few months, only to possibly never see him again. I certainly won't have the money to fly to France, as I'm disabled, I don't know about his finances. I don't know what to do. I already feel the butterflies and tummy flips.

[R&R]

*deepbreath*

I joined specifically to get advice on this so please be gentle.

I am not what most people would call beautiful; I realize this. On top of that I have mental disorders. So, I joined Tinder 2 nights ago thinking that it couldn't hurt and I might find someone who might be interested in me long enough to at least take me out for coffee or a meal before telling me they couldn't deal with my issues.

Then I met the guy who caused me to sign up here. We'll call him L.

L was the second match on Tinder but the only person to respond to me. He is cute and kind. He is French! But that is also the bad news. He'll be going back to France in June, as he is here on contract with the company he works for and there's no telling if/when he'll be back.

I really liked talking to him, but I'm wondering if it is worth the possible heartache of getting attached to someone for only a few months, only to possibly never see him again. I certainly won't have the money to fly to France, as I'm disabled, I don't know about his finances. I don't know what to do. I already feel the butterflies and tummy flips.

Hi Koeki - welcome to LFAD.

My advice to you would be not to rush anything. You've only just met. Any relationship is based on a good friendship. Start off with being friends. Get to know each other. Take your time to enjoy the here and now. New friends are always good and bring new ideas and experiences to our lives.

Eventually, after you've spent time getting to know each other, and if you decide to actually be in an exclusive/romantic relationship, then you can start to address the "what-if's" or "how would we handle this situation" that will come about.

[lyonsgirl]

Hi Koeki - welcome to LFAD.

My advice to you would be not to rush anything. You've only just met. Any relationship is based on a good friendship. Start off with being friends. Get to know each other. Take your time to enjoy the here and now. New friends are always good and bring new ideas and experiences to our lives.

Eventually, after you've spent time getting to know each other, and if you decide to actually be in an exclusive/romantic relationship, then you can start to address the "what-if's" or "how would we handle this situation" that will come about.

I concur.

[Chris516]

*deepbreath*

I joined specifically to get advice on this so please be gentle.

I am not what most people would call beautiful; I realize this. On top of that I have mental disorders. So, I joined Tinder 2 nights ago thinking that it couldn't hurt and I might find someone who might be interested in me long enough to at least take me out for coffee or a meal before telling me they couldn't deal with my issues.

Then I met the guy who caused me to sign up here. We'll call him L.

L was the second match on Tinder but the only person to respond to me. He is cute and kind. He is French! But that is also the bad news. He'll be going back to France in June, as he is here on contract with the company he works for and there's no telling if/when he'll be back.

I really liked talking to him, but I'm wondering if it is worth the possible heartache of getting attached to someone for only a few months, only to possibly never see him again. I certainly won't have the money to fly to France, as I'm disabled, I don't know about his finances. I don't know what to do. I already feel the butterflies and tummy flips.

First, Beauty is 'in the eye of the beholder'
Second, Beauty is 'more than skin deep'

Which mental disorders? I am not trying to pry. Just trying to understand further.

With today's technology, you could basically, be in their living room, 1000's of miles away. While not leaving your bedroom. I grant you that doesn't make up for 'absolute' physical interaction. But you can save for the cost of travel in the meantime. While physically being able to see and talk to each other.

What part of France is he from?(Paris, Nice, Cherborg, etc.)

[Koeki]

Which mental disorders? I am not trying to pry. Just trying to understand further.

No prying, I mentioned it. I have PTSD, Social Phobia, Chronic Depression and Anxiety. I also very likely have Asperger's.

-----

Sadly, for the rest of it, I spoke to him today and he wasn't even willing to see where things led. Wasn't even willing to try. Friendship was ok, but nothing more. His faces yesterday via text were highly misleading if that's the case, and lead to some time of me crying into my pillow. I guess better to know now with 1-2 days lost, than a week or a month down the line. Time to eat ice cream, cuddle my service animals, and so forth.

-----

As for the Beauty part, I added a picture of me to my profile. I couldn't figure out how to add it here easily, sorry. >.<

[thelittlepanda]

*deepbreath*

I joined specifically to get advice on this so please be gentle.

I am not what most people would call beautiful; I realize this. On top of that I have mental disorders. So, I joined Tinder 2 nights ago thinking that it couldn't hurt and I might find someone who might be interested in me long enough to at least take me out for coffee or a meal before telling me they couldn't deal with my issues.

Then I met the guy who caused me to sign up here. We'll call him L.

L was the second match on Tinder but the only person to respond to me. He is cute and kind. He is French! But that is also the bad news. He'll be going back to France in June, as he is here on contract with the company he works for and there's no telling if/when he'll be back.

I really liked talking to him, but I'm wondering if it is worth the possible heartache of getting attached to someone for only a few months, only to possibly never see him again. I certainly won't have the money to fly to France, as I'm disabled, I don't know about his finances. I don't know what to do. I already feel the butterflies and tummy flips.

All I'm going to say is that sometimes, it's worth it. I met my guy on tinder and before our first date he told me he wasn't going to be here for long and that he was going to go back to california to his marine base. So needless to say I had my doubts and my reservations. But even though we only spent three days together. They were the best three days of my life. And I have no regrets and I would not have had it any other way. I fell in love with him and I fall further in love every single day. If you really like him, pursue it. Life is to short for regrets and what ifs.

[honeybunny]

I know how hard this is, but don't put yourself down. I did it for a long time because people actually told me I wasn't pretty and I stupidly believed them. I saw you, everyone is beautiful in their own way. And by that I mean you'll find someone who appreciates you, whether it's this guy or someone else. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My boyfriend thinks the world of me and I'm still getting used to it. He keeps telling me I look really cute but I just laugh when he says it.

[Chris516]

No prying, I mentioned it. I have PTSD, Social Phobia, Chronic Depression and Anxiety. I also very likely have Asperger's.

-----

Sadly, for the rest of it, I spoke to him today and he wasn't even willing to see where things led. Wasn't even willing to try. Friendship was ok, but nothing more. His faces yesterday via text were highly misleading if that's the case, and lead to some time of me crying into my pillow. I guess better to know now with 1-2 days lost, than a week or a month down the line. Time to eat ice cream, cuddle my service animals, and so forth.

-----

As for the Beauty part, I added a picture of me to my profile. I couldn't figure out how to add it here easily, sorry. >.<

Well, I start off with 'beauty'. You are a beautiful woman. His loss.

Are the mental health issues, individual to themselves? Or are they all rooted to one severe trauma?

The smiley faces can accentuate what one has said. But they can also be entirely misleading.

What flavor ice cream? I will eat anything but cherry, black cherry, or grapefruit.

[Koeki]

Well, I start off with 'beauty'. You are a beautiful woman. His loss.

Are the mental health issues, individual to themselves? Or are they all rooted to one severe trauma?
...
What flavor ice cream? I will eat anything but cherry, black cherry, or grapefruit.

Thank you.

I had an abusive/neglectful childhood with no friends where I attended a private school with the same 20-30 student all year, every year, all day long. I was also raped and molested in high school by 2 different people that I trusted, 6 months or so apart. Finally, my brother decided to point a loaded shotgun at my head; I told my parents and I was told that I brought it on myself. It was the last thing my mother said to me before she died. My brother is still in the military.


Deep breath

Icecream: napoleon. My favourite :9

[Chris516]

Thank you.

I had an abusive/neglectful childhood with no friends where I attended a private school with the same 20-30 student all year, every year, all day long. I was also raped and molested in high school by 2 different people that I trusted, 6 months or so apart. Finally, my brother decided to point a loaded shotgun at my head; I told my parents and I was told that I brought it on myself. It was the last thing my mother said to me before she died. My brother is still in the military.


Deep breath

Icecream: napoleon. My favourite :9

I did, too(not including a private school). To an extent. I have already moved twenty-two times over the course of my life. From the day I was born. It has so far been three countries, six states(one of my own choosing), and Washington, D.C.. I felt like a shuttlecock(the fat disc in the game of shuttlecock at retirement homes). I never had a loaded(or unloaded) gun pointed at me. But, Like you, I was told that I brought it on myself. I was expelled from several schools. I was a magnet for bullies. When I 'physically' responded to the bullies. I was sent home. When I ran away from several schools, since they refused to correct the problem. I was kicked out of the school I was in at the time.

[differentcountries]

I always find it so funny when people talk about "knowing" they are not beautiful. Apart from some people who are born supermodels, nobody of us is to everyone's liking. It is just meaningless to say things like that. I myself have walked though all the stages, from being considered a mediocre child, an ugly teen and a beautiful adult, looking back all I can see is that through all the stages I looked like me and that is what I like about myself. I think I was a much more beautiful child than I was given credit for (perhaps because my mum cut my hair like a boy), and I didn't look any more akward than other teens (but I was being bullied and thought I was ugly because people said I was). I do think I am fairly good looking as an adult, but I think that is mainly because I am not ashamed to believe in the idea that I can be beautiful - I make others see what is beautiful about me, for instance taking care of my skin and wearing dresses to show off my violin shaped body. And if people don't think I am attractive, I don't care. Conficance is attractive in itself. I don't think I am pretty so I could be, let's say a model, but I don't think I should have to look that good to think I look pretty good

If there is something you want to change about your looks, you can do that. If you don't feel like doing that, you don't have to. I am not going to say that you are beautiful, I don't know what you look like, but I am going to say that it matter less than you think. A lot of people will be drawn to someone who makes the best of herself inside and out, no matter what she looks like. People are drawn to energies. They like someone who likes themselves. In part because a lot of them dont really like themselves, but they are hoping that someone who feels secure will make them feel secure, too. I am not going to say that looks fade. I am saying, be proud of what you have got. It makes people see the beauty in you, when you see it first.