Some days are bad

[sasad]

I will tell you though that if you paying your man too many times or your woman it gets annoying after a while and they may start to shut down. We all have insecurities and some of us have doubts about ourselves but projecting this negative blessed onto our other half usually has a negative effect
You need to continue with your life find hobbies hang out with friends etc. the more you get into your head at least -I have found in my case - the worst things end up being.

Again trying to find things to keep you entertained set goals for yourself to get new hobbies write down things to tell him that were funny you're interesting in the next time you talk. Just keep your communication open.

[Honour]

Oh, where do I begin on my insecurities?

Been going through this rough patch where all I do is worry why I'm feeling detached from my SO. I think it's because of a mixture of things, like lots of deadlines for uni work, etc. Been getting really stressed out and it does have a negative impact on you. My SO and I talked briefly about it the other day in an effort to try and understand, and I think I'm beginning to get it through my head there really isn't all that much to worry about. I handle a lack of communication between us better than I did before, it's just getting it through my head as well that things will turn out ok, and that it's mostly my worries that are drawing it out/making it far worse than it actually is. As much as it sucks, just getting on with life and doing things you enjoy in the meantime provides the best distraction.

[Cup]

Hello and thank you again!!

Yesterday and today (i think) i am a whole lot better! I did realize as you mentioned Honour, that i am going through a really big change in my life and i am stressed, so i "take it all out" on him. So to answer you sasad, you are right, projecting the negativity on the other is bad, thing is i have never done it. When i know it's completely my insecurity , i find no reason to tell him, it will only make things worse. It will actually build upon my insecurities too, so yeah for anyone else reading, don't bother your SO with your own insecurities , for your own sake!!

@Teacherfairy I was trying to answer you the other day but by mobile and i ended up deleting it by mistake So, how long since he last contacted me? thats the problem, i mean my problem..He contacts me daily and multiple times. When you asked me that, we skyped a couple of hours earlier... Your question made me see how i am exaggerating


Today i am a bit better. I really do miss him. I started saving money and it helps a bit. I think today when we get back to our normal routine i will feel a whole lot better! It does help to focus on other things, specially creative ones!
edit: everyone has those days where there is nothing much to talk about right?

Hope everyone is doing great!!

[Cup]

Ok, so i concluded to what was bothering me and i am sure that the girls in here will agree. PMS. Nuff said.
Last few months it has become worse, i usually got away with only being irritable, now it's full on anxiety + irritability!

I was going crazy! Things that my SO did on normal days, these days seemed like the worst thing he can do! I'm gonna get my diet in shape again and yes,@teacherfairy, i'm on the "wanna-get-fit-for-next-time-we-meet" train too!! Heard about magnesium supplements for PMS and anxiety, but i think should post that in another part of this forum!

Thank you all for your help!

[Teacherfairy]

Glad you're feeling a bit more positive cup! Trust me. I think we all have our anxious days. I think it helps sometimes to try and let go of wanting to control the situation. Sometimes you just have to let things go and realise that, if it does all happen to go wrong (which im sure it won't!), you'll be just fine on your own!

Easier said than done sometimes though, I know!

[thehappyhope]

So to answer you sasad, you are right, projecting the negativity on the other is bad, thing is i have never done it. When i know it's completely my insecurity , i find no reason to tell him, it will only make things worse. It will actually build upon my insecurities too, so yeah for anyone else reading, don't bother your SO with your own insecurities , for your own sake!!

I used to agree wholeheartedly with this, but I guess I'm not very good at hiding that I feel upset. My SO ended up asking me a couple times why I did not tell him when I feel he did something I didn't like. I find it kind of complicated. If I tell him my feelings, knowing that rationally I shouldn't have those feelings, I feel guilty for imposing my insecurities on him as well as shame for feeling them. He's very understanding, however, he knows I know it's irrational, but he doesn't dismiss them. It may not be ideal for everyone or every time, but sometimes it's okay to tell your SO you don't feel okay. Just don't tell him/her in an aggressive/blaming manner, simply acknowledge what you are feeling and why (PMS, distance, etc) and that you are working on it.

Yes, I'm on PMS too. Hate it with a passion.