I got this advice & I think it is too harsh -- thoughts?

[R&R]

I'm sorry, but if someone has told me they are "settling for me" or if "he doesn't know if he wants to end up with me" - well I'd make that choice quite easy for him and end it and walk away. Seriously. If you don't know your own mind, don't mess with someone else's heart.

I don't know if you've ever watched Bridget Jones' Diary but I think it would be a good watch. This guy reminds me of Daniel Cleaver. And one of the best lines in the movie that I think is appropriate for you - it's when Daniel wanted her back after leaving her for someone else:

That's not a good enough offer for me.

I'm not willing to gamble my whole life...

on someone who's...

well, not quite sure.

It's like you said.

I'm still looking for something...

more extraordinary than that.

[whatruckus]

I'm just going to be honest and tell you that it's not going to work out with someone who's not sure of what they want. My former SO could never really give me a definite answer what he wanted, yeah, he has a mental illness that didn't really help at all, but in the end...we didn't work out.

Do yourself a favor and move on. You're no where near as invested in the relationship as I was. I went through 3 years of that with him. You've barely gone through one. Imagine him being like this for the rest of your relationship. It's not fun and it messes with your self-confidence.

If he doesn't know what he wants by now, he's never going to. Also, of course when you're there, and face-to-face, he's going to want you and feel like he knows what he wants. But, in the end...he doesn't. If he can't want you consistently, then what's the point? Wouldn't you rather want to be with someone who's there and knows that he wants you and wants you all the time? And, most importantly, makes you feel wanted? Like that Hunter Hayes song "Wanted": I want to call you mine, I want to hold your hand forever, And never let you forget it, I want to make you feel wanted.

You can't keep making excuses for him because you're going to end up resenting him. Take it from someone who's been there. And, it wasn't just with my past SO this happened to me. My asshole Ex was the same way.

Most importantly, you have a child. You need someone to be consistent, someone who's going to stay and be a father to her. Like the Kelly Clarkson song "Piece By Piece". Not just a "ehh maybe" type of person, who comes in and out of your life when he feels like it.

[HeartIsInNY]

I wish I would have read this when you posted it.

He broke up with me tonight ... and as sad and empty as I feel right now ... I saw it coming deep down. I was just clinging on the few things that made me feel like we could make it. And in some other life, another time, maybe we could have made it. But we didn't. So I just finished deleting him from everything I have, in attempts to heal again.

It's been a rough year and a half. There were highs I have never experienced, and lows I hope I never do again. But one thing for sure is I gave everything I had to him and i loved him with every ounce I had, and that I will never regret....he was the coward, not me.

Goodbye.

[Elizabeth123]

Heal and be good to yourself. You focus on what gives you joy and I'm wishing you all the best!