He says I deserve better

[Sunday82]

And Chris, A short bus ride away is much more easier indeed :-) I am thinking my LDB is doing the same thing, just pushing me away. It could also be that he just wants space, but I dont know.

[hmrambling]

Why chase someone who is pushing you away? Look at your motives.

Again, when someone shows me who they are, I have to believe them.

If someone says they are not good enough to be with me, I believe them.

However, when someone tells me what I deserve, and what they think I need in a partner, that's a different story. I get to decide what I deserve and what I need in a partner. I don't need a partner to tell me what I need in a partner.

I can think on my own and decide what I need and deserve.

[sasad]

Why chase someone who is pushing you away? Look at your motives.

Again, when someone shows me who they are, I have to believe them.

If someone says they are not good enough to be with me, I believe them.

However, when someone tells me what I deserve, and what they think I need in a partner, that's a different story. I get to decide what I deserve and what I need in a partner. I don't need a partner to tell me what I need in a partner.

I can think on my own and decide what I need and deserve.

It's hard to actually believe and understand someone when they may be in a deep depression etc. Sometimes it really is a cry for help, and walking away because of something said may not necessarily be the right choice.

[hmrambling]

It's hard to actually believe and understand someone when they may be in a deep depression etc. Sometimes it really is a cry for help, and walking away because of something said may not necessarily be the right choice.

If a person is not equipped or does not want to accept this behavior, then the decision may very well be the right decision for the partner who does not have the capacity or desire to deal with the person who has depression.

I had an ex who had depression. She was manipulative and pushed me away. She verbally and emotionally abused me. Leaving her was the right decision for me. If I had stayed, and I was completely aware that I could fully expect the same treatment in the future, then I would have to take some responsibility for staying in a relationship where I was manipulated, pushed away, verbally and emotionally abused.

I'll be damned if I stay in that sort of relationship and justify it by staying that a person should stay with someone simply because they are depressed.

I do, in fact, deserve better treatment than that. In my case, I decided that it was not right for me to stay in that situation. I will not accept unacceptable behavior, either. When I begin to accept unacceptable behavior, I should expect it to continue and to progress. I certainly had observed an escalation of the unacceptable behavior in my situation.

[sasad]

If a person is not equipped or does not want to accept this behavior, then the decision may very well be the right decision for the partner who does not have the capacity or desire to deal with the person who has depression.

I had an ex who had depression. She was manipulative and pushed me away. She verbally and emotionally abused me. Leaving her was the right decision for me. If I had stayed, and I was completely aware that I could fully expect the same treatment in the future, then I would have to take some responsibility for staying in a relationship where I was manipulated, pushed away, verbally and emotionally abused.

I'll be damned if I stay in that sort of relationship and justify it by staying that a person should stay with someone simply because they are depressed.

I do, in fact, deserve better treatment than that. In my case, I decided that it was not right for me to stay in that situation. I will not accept unacceptable behavior, either. When I begin to accept unacceptable behavior, I should expect it to continue and to progress. I certainly had observed an escalation of the unacceptable behavior in my situation.

Perfect.. agree 100%!

[Chris516]

My long distance boyfriend is behaving really upset lately.
He has some problems going on he told me about. Recently I saw him and things seemed fine between us.
However last week he didnt respond to my message so I already knew something was not right.

Now he told me I should forget him, that I deserve better them him.
That I should find a nice men....

He has said these things to me before. He suffers from depression so I think he is just having extreme moodswings lately and when he has these moodswings he can be very impulsive and say things he later regrets. Now I reacted pretty lightly and changed the subject so I basicly avoided to talk about this problem by mail/text. I prefer to talk to him in person about this.

Now this is going on from the beginning:
1.Trust issues, he doesent trust me, thinks I have other men.
2. Depression, low self esteem.

I think a long distance relationship is making it worse, for him life is very complicated and a long distance relationship makes it even more complicated.
Is this is a way for him to break up or pushing me to break up with him? At this point its really confusing, one day he tells me he wants to marry and the other day he tells me I should find a better person.


Anyone advice on this situation?

My previous LDR, said basically the same thing(find someone better). My (ex)fiance has OCD.

She trusted me. No accusations of cheating.

My (ex)fiance did the same thing. She tried to get me to break up with her. While I never said it outright. I gave up on communication with her. I see her come online, on Yahoo Messenger. She doesn't say anything to me, and I don't try to initiate conversation with her.

[nickbknl]

I have an online girlfriend that lives 6000 miles away from me.

I know she's really unconfident about herself, and she thinks she's worth less than others. It hurts so much to hear her say that.

I keep telling her how amazing she is, how much I love her, how much I believe in her, every day. We talk about it ever so often and I always make sure she listens to what I say, and it has helped a lot so far.

I know she had some trust issues in the beginning, because she has been used by lots of her friends. But since not so long ago, I see that she feels like she can be herself better. And that's really important.