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I Don't Know How to Feel Right Now

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    #1

    I Don't Know How to Feel Right Now

    One of the reasons of I was hesitant about getting into a relationship with my boyfriend is because I knew he wouldn't be able to be there for me all the time. I know that I accepted those terms by agreeing to do this anyway, but at the same time I, at least, expected him to keep his word and call me when he said he was going to. He didn't and last night I, honestly, really needed his support emotionally. But he didn't keep his word, so he wasn't there. In a way, though, it is not his fault because he is currently outta work and doesn't have his own phone and I'm not going to hold that against him, though, because I am in a similar situation financially and also don't own a phone. I do, however, have access to a landline and my own computer with Wifi.
    Honestly, I don't know how to feel about this right now. Part of me is mad that and just wants an explanation, and the other part is just trying to be understanding. Mostly, however, I am beginning to feel really afraid about starting to rely on him. This is not my first LDR. I had my first LDR boyfriend when I was 14 and we were together for four years, but it was four years of excuses and lies. I do not want to go through again with this person. Idk how to feel or what to do.
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    #2
    So, the relationship started two-three days ago. I don't how how you expect him to be regularily in contact with you if he has no means of contact on his own. It sound difficult.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like it's a little unfair to put that much pressure on him. Especially since you guys just started dating a few days ago. DC is right. If neither of you have regular access to any forms of communication (you having it easier than he does), you can't really expect him to be able to be there for you all the time. Even if he promises. Things happen. Things get in the way. Especially, like I said, if he doesn't have a regular form of communication. Can't he get one of those pre-paid phones from like Walmart or something? Or Cricket wireless?

      Have you talked to him since? I can't really see this as him doing it on purpose, or his fault really. Unless, he flat out tells you he blew you off. No need to work yourself up over it.

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        #4
        I understand that and I understand that he has other priorities and cannot be there 24/7. I get that. I just think that people should try to keep their promises. Then again, it's possible I've overreacted. Idk. I mentioned in my intro that I have social anxiety and am considerably socially inept, and have a tendency to overreact to things that wouldn't bother most people. I even had an attack while I was writing this post earlier.
        Yes, I have spoken to him since then. He's apologized multiple times and I've forgiven him. I know it's not his fault. I think I am still getting used to the idea of being in another ldr and am afraid it might end up like the last one.

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          #5
          I find that most people do try to keep their promises, it's just that keeping a promise isn't always possible. You don't want to make someone feel bad for something that's out of their control, so it's important to keep that in mind. I guarantee you've broken a few promises yourself. Everyone has.

          My one biggest piece of advice overall would be this:
          Don't treat this relationship with whatever baggage has carried over from your previous LDR. He's not your ex, and this isn't that relationship. When you bring that baggage over, you run the risk of setting yourself up for failure. You're so afraid of it turning out like it did last time, that you'll end up sabotaging yourself and it will end up like how it did last time. It's only been a few days, and this sprung up. Be careful going forward.

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            #6
            Thank you for your advice.
            I've apologized to him for overreacting and letting my anxiety come in between us. I explained to him why I am anxious and he's been very kind and understanding. I think this is partially because he has anxiety problems, too.

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              #7
              How about if the two of you work together to solve the phone problem?

              (we used to have a phone problem, or rather an internet problem because he didnt have his own device to Skype on. He annoyed all his friends using their laptops and smart phones, then we started using internet cafees but there we couldn't have any privacy. After a month or so, I sent him money to buy a phone)
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                #8
                Honestly, I just don't have the money to send him a phone right now.

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