Hey all!
I'm cooling my jets at the airport, on the way home from a visit to see my SO, and thought you all might enjoy a little visit report.
My SO and I have been together for around 3 months. He lives in SC and I live the KC area. We've known each other for a few years and this was my second visit to see him. I was in SC for about 10 days - 3 days with my best friend and the rest with J. Had a great time all around.
We had tons of fun and laughs, and also had some great conversations to help further our relationship. We talked about things like where we both are with regard to our relationship and how we can try to manage distance better. A few highlights...
*We discussed that we both are into this relationship, but it doesn't feel 100% real to him yet. Also that I am more invested at this point than he is (but that certainly is not to say he is not invested!)
*We used the 36 questions to fall in love app as a conversation springboard and to learn more about each others' backgrounds. We didn't do the whole set of questions but we did a lot. It was good and I think we will do things like that again.
*We had a good discussion about how to keep connections better while we are apart, as well as discussed visit frequency. We came to the conclusion that a nice length visit about every 6 weeks is probably about right, and we talked about how I will likely be traveling for more and longer because my job is more flexible. I'm okay with that. I also floated the idea of a longer visit, like a month or so, but he's not ready to discuss that yet. Which is fine - I actually knew he probably wouldn't be but I just wanted to plant a seed.
* We discussed our feelings about the relationship itself a lot. Part of our discussion was about the decision to commit. I am a big believer that just about the most important criteria for marriage is the DECISION that both people make that they have found their person and they in it for the long haul. We discussed that we are in the place where we are pretty sure if we decided tomorrow to be together forever we would be successful at it, but we aren't quite ready to make that decision. Which is fine. We discussed that our purpose in the relationship at this time is to use our time to figure out whether we are sufficiently compatible for the long haul. While we have a lot if fun, the relationship isn't just about fun by any means.
I still have a lot to process and think about, but all in all it was a great visit with a lot of fun, and I can't wait to see my person again.
I'm cooling my jets at the airport, on the way home from a visit to see my SO, and thought you all might enjoy a little visit report.
My SO and I have been together for around 3 months. He lives in SC and I live the KC area. We've known each other for a few years and this was my second visit to see him. I was in SC for about 10 days - 3 days with my best friend and the rest with J. Had a great time all around.
We had tons of fun and laughs, and also had some great conversations to help further our relationship. We talked about things like where we both are with regard to our relationship and how we can try to manage distance better. A few highlights...
*We discussed that we both are into this relationship, but it doesn't feel 100% real to him yet. Also that I am more invested at this point than he is (but that certainly is not to say he is not invested!)
*We used the 36 questions to fall in love app as a conversation springboard and to learn more about each others' backgrounds. We didn't do the whole set of questions but we did a lot. It was good and I think we will do things like that again.
*We had a good discussion about how to keep connections better while we are apart, as well as discussed visit frequency. We came to the conclusion that a nice length visit about every 6 weeks is probably about right, and we talked about how I will likely be traveling for more and longer because my job is more flexible. I'm okay with that. I also floated the idea of a longer visit, like a month or so, but he's not ready to discuss that yet. Which is fine - I actually knew he probably wouldn't be but I just wanted to plant a seed.
* We discussed our feelings about the relationship itself a lot. Part of our discussion was about the decision to commit. I am a big believer that just about the most important criteria for marriage is the DECISION that both people make that they have found their person and they in it for the long haul. We discussed that we are in the place where we are pretty sure if we decided tomorrow to be together forever we would be successful at it, but we aren't quite ready to make that decision. Which is fine. We discussed that our purpose in the relationship at this time is to use our time to figure out whether we are sufficiently compatible for the long haul. While we have a lot if fun, the relationship isn't just about fun by any means.
I still have a lot to process and think about, but all in all it was a great visit with a lot of fun, and I can't wait to see my person again.
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