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Background checks and Googling

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    #46
    While I don't agree with running a background check on my SO, I understand why you did it. I am glad that you asked his permission before running the check on him. I personally never ran a background check on my SO. He has always provided me with information if I ask of it. In the beginning, he sent me his pictures, and we friended each other on Myspace. Eventually, I met his family via his webcam, and social media, and talked to them. I met him in person in 2010, and went over to England to meet his family in 2012. In my personal experience, there was nothing that concerned me, or raised any flags. I agree that there is a lot of trust that goes within a long distance relationship.

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      #47
      Originally posted by sunnymess54 View Post
      Everyone is different, if you felt the need to date a druggie and Ex prostitute etc I'm assuming you didn't have children to consider, if so I'd feel sorry for them... Also if you did date said person an STD test may be in order
      If you are dating ANYONE an STD check is ALWAYS in order. Sexually transmissive deseases don't disciminate.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #48
        Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
        If you are dating ANYONE an STD check is ALWAYS in order. Sexually transmissive deseases don't disciminate.
        --- discriminate??

        Ummmm I would never ever have an STD check done on someone I am just DATING. That is so not a requirement for someone to date me I don't sleep/have sex with people I casually date so that would be kind of awkward tbh..

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          #49
          Originally posted by sasad View Post
          --- discriminate??

          Ummmm I would never ever have an STD check done on someone I am just DATING. That is so not a requirement for someone to date me I don't sleep/have sex with people I casually date so that would be kind of awkward tbh..
          I think she means (and dc correct me if I'm wrong) "dating" as in being in a relationship with someone, to whatever degree you define that relationship (serious, casual, etc.). I know I personally use "dating" to mean "in a committed relationship" and "casually dating/seeing" to mean people I just go on dates with/have a fling with.

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            #50
            100% true 👍

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              #51
              Originally posted by Harlequin View Post
              I think she means (and dc correct me if I'm wrong) "dating" as in being in a relationship with someone, to whatever degree you define that relationship (serious, casual, etc.). I know I personally use "dating" to mean "in a committed relationship" and "casually dating/seeing" to mean people I just go on dates with/have a fling with.

              Yup...guess it's how you define the word. You use dating as having a fling or something casual ..... Where I grew up dating is going out with somebody socially as a couple ...has nothing to do with sex.

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                #52
                I still think this whole thing is a little excessive, even if you have the permission from your SO. I met my husband online and we found out things about each other as time moved on, and when it came to filing for our visa, we were confident we knew each other well enough that there wouldn't be any surprises. I don't know, to me this just seems out of place.

                Have I googled my man? Sure, for fun just to see if I can find some high school pictures or something like that, never with the intention of getting a background check on him and I think I'd be pretty hurt if he tried to find out my past through google, like seriously man? You can't ASK me about my past? Nah, that wouldn't fly.

                Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                Married: 1/24/2015
                Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                  #53
                  Originally posted by Harlequin View Post
                  I think she means (and dc correct me if I'm wrong) "dating" as in being in a relationship with someone, to whatever degree you define that relationship (serious, casual, etc.). I know I personally use "dating" to mean "in a committed relationship" and "casually dating/seeing" to mean people I just go on dates with/have a fling with.
                  I could have said "people you currently have sex with", but I was trying to be polite and let the sex in the relationship be implied. I forgot the million different meanings the word "dating" can have in English. From a STD standpoint, your morality is not important, but the testing is. Because anyone can have it, even nice people.

                  It was said to run STD checks on people with dodgy backrounds. Sure, do that, and also run STD checks on people with nice backrounds who claim they were born with a condom on. Because you just never know, and you can't "ask" people if they have STDs to be safe even if they are honest people, because they may not know. For instance, HIV is most transferrable when people have recently gotten it, which would also be when they are not aware....
                  Last edited by differentcountries; April 30, 2016, 10:33 AM.
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                  Comment

                    #54
                    I can't say I've ever done a background check myself, with permission or not. I don't think I'd like to hear about something that happened in the past, things that are best left in the past. I mean, I can see from both perspectives, for and against... I don't think I'm either, just in the undecided category. The way I think of it as, if your SO feels like he/she needs to tell you about something, then fair enough. It's like if my SO felt that way, I'm pretty sure he'd tell me when he was ready (though since he works in the corrections officer, prison, career, I'm fairly sure he's quite clean). Doing any kind of check could turn up more "dirt" than is a good idea to know..

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                      #55
                      I've never done a background check on any of my partners. I usually trust them and anything that needs to be revealed, will be.

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