First of all, hi, I'm new here!
I wish I had time to properly introduce myself, but my profile is quite up to date and, I think people will get to know me once I start posting here more. This is going to be a long story.
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year now. We have met eachother five times now. We travelled back and forth so to speak.
My last visit was a few weeks ago, end of April, and it made me worried.
Just to sketch the situation between me and him: I'm obese, and I have a lot of healthproblems, including my joints. He is tall, skinny and healthy.
He lives in a hilly area in the UK and I live in (of course, because Holland...) flat area and don't get a lot of exercise. Even tough I know I should, and I will do something about it.
But before I visited him, I told him that I had trouble walking because my SI joint is ruined since a year or so. It means that I can walk, but not for too long and not too fast. He said that that was fine. I also told him that it was hard for me to find money to visit him (debts from university and all) so, I would be able to pay for a plane ticket, but I won't have a lot when I'm over there. He also said that that was fine.
Before I went, I was slightly annoyed with his behaviour of the past few months. We both work a few days a week. But he is going out a lot, 3 evenings a week, where he gets -really- drunk. He asks when I go to bed, and he says he will be back before that time. But he never does. He comes home in the middle of the night and I would sit there, waiting. The time difference doesn't help either. I don't go out, and when I do, it's once a month with my two best friends for a bite to eat and I'll be home by 10 in the evening. There have been so many days where I was completely exhausted from waiting for him the night before. And when he does call, he either wakes me up, or, if I have been waiting, he is really drunk and not in a state to have a normal convo with.
Sometimes, I don't get to speak to him at all. It makes me sad and unhappy. My friends tell me to talk to him about this, but the things is, you know, that if you tell someone you have a problem with them spending so much time with their friends and going out, he is going to be with you because he thinks he HAS to. And I don't want that, I also don't want to be the bitch that destroys his freedom.
Now, here is where everything starts.
When I arrived, I was exhausted. Ever since the explosions in Belgium and Paris, Amsterdam is extra cautious, so I was at the airport around 7 in the morning when my flight was at 12. Because security and all.. I had to be four hours in advance. Besides, I am scared of flying, so the stress made me extremely tired.
He picked me up, which was sweet of him, and he asked how I was. I was going on about being tired and wanting to go home to see his parents (he lives at home still, so do I). He nodded and said that we would relax for a bit at his house.
Well, that didn't happen.
As soon as we got home, we ate, and he wanted to go to the pub and see his friends. He had that planned already before I came to the UK. I thought that that was, a little strange since I just arrived and.. well.. it's difficult to explain but, maybe you'll understand me when I say that I felt unimportant. We sat in the pub till 12, and I was destroyed. I had to walk 6 km that evening to go to the pub and to get back, with my fucked up hip and 130 kilos of bodyweight and exhaustion. The thing is though, I didn't complain. I did it. And I was proud of myself that I made it. However, the whole way, he walked with one of his friends, meters in front of me and let me catch up every now and then. I'm doing it, I'm just not so fast, and I'm trying hard. But he didn't walk with me.
The path was dark at some point as well and he was so far away, if anything would have happened, he wouldn't hear me. Now, this was not the only night this EXACT situation happened, this happened 8 times. He was with his friends constantly. Everytime we had a day planned together, he would ask his friends along. We were never really together.
The one day we spent together, he was on his phone the whole time.
In the mornings, he would play games on his computer, also when we came home from the pub. Or he'd make himself food, eat it in front of me and give me nothing and I'd just go to bed.
He was drunk when we went to the pub. He only touched me when he was drunk, he only kissed me once when he was sober. I have pleasured him before in other times we saw eachother, but he never pleasured me once in the year we are together.
My hip is ruined according to the doctor, but he never asked how it was and if I'm okay.
More happened.. but I don't know what to do now..
I wish I had time to properly introduce myself, but my profile is quite up to date and, I think people will get to know me once I start posting here more. This is going to be a long story.
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year now. We have met eachother five times now. We travelled back and forth so to speak.
My last visit was a few weeks ago, end of April, and it made me worried.
Just to sketch the situation between me and him: I'm obese, and I have a lot of healthproblems, including my joints. He is tall, skinny and healthy.
He lives in a hilly area in the UK and I live in (of course, because Holland...) flat area and don't get a lot of exercise. Even tough I know I should, and I will do something about it.
But before I visited him, I told him that I had trouble walking because my SI joint is ruined since a year or so. It means that I can walk, but not for too long and not too fast. He said that that was fine. I also told him that it was hard for me to find money to visit him (debts from university and all) so, I would be able to pay for a plane ticket, but I won't have a lot when I'm over there. He also said that that was fine.
Before I went, I was slightly annoyed with his behaviour of the past few months. We both work a few days a week. But he is going out a lot, 3 evenings a week, where he gets -really- drunk. He asks when I go to bed, and he says he will be back before that time. But he never does. He comes home in the middle of the night and I would sit there, waiting. The time difference doesn't help either. I don't go out, and when I do, it's once a month with my two best friends for a bite to eat and I'll be home by 10 in the evening. There have been so many days where I was completely exhausted from waiting for him the night before. And when he does call, he either wakes me up, or, if I have been waiting, he is really drunk and not in a state to have a normal convo with.
Sometimes, I don't get to speak to him at all. It makes me sad and unhappy. My friends tell me to talk to him about this, but the things is, you know, that if you tell someone you have a problem with them spending so much time with their friends and going out, he is going to be with you because he thinks he HAS to. And I don't want that, I also don't want to be the bitch that destroys his freedom.
Now, here is where everything starts.
When I arrived, I was exhausted. Ever since the explosions in Belgium and Paris, Amsterdam is extra cautious, so I was at the airport around 7 in the morning when my flight was at 12. Because security and all.. I had to be four hours in advance. Besides, I am scared of flying, so the stress made me extremely tired.
He picked me up, which was sweet of him, and he asked how I was. I was going on about being tired and wanting to go home to see his parents (he lives at home still, so do I). He nodded and said that we would relax for a bit at his house.
Well, that didn't happen.
As soon as we got home, we ate, and he wanted to go to the pub and see his friends. He had that planned already before I came to the UK. I thought that that was, a little strange since I just arrived and.. well.. it's difficult to explain but, maybe you'll understand me when I say that I felt unimportant. We sat in the pub till 12, and I was destroyed. I had to walk 6 km that evening to go to the pub and to get back, with my fucked up hip and 130 kilos of bodyweight and exhaustion. The thing is though, I didn't complain. I did it. And I was proud of myself that I made it. However, the whole way, he walked with one of his friends, meters in front of me and let me catch up every now and then. I'm doing it, I'm just not so fast, and I'm trying hard. But he didn't walk with me.
The path was dark at some point as well and he was so far away, if anything would have happened, he wouldn't hear me. Now, this was not the only night this EXACT situation happened, this happened 8 times. He was with his friends constantly. Everytime we had a day planned together, he would ask his friends along. We were never really together.
The one day we spent together, he was on his phone the whole time.
In the mornings, he would play games on his computer, also when we came home from the pub. Or he'd make himself food, eat it in front of me and give me nothing and I'd just go to bed.
He was drunk when we went to the pub. He only touched me when he was drunk, he only kissed me once when he was sober. I have pleasured him before in other times we saw eachother, but he never pleasured me once in the year we are together.
My hip is ruined according to the doctor, but he never asked how it was and if I'm okay.
More happened.. but I don't know what to do now..
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