Forgave .. and trying forget .. MY lovely girlfriend

[mrqing93]

Hi Guys (: sorry for bad english

i know having a long distance r/s isn't easy .. i bet most of the people reading the post are having A LDR .. its my 1st time having A LDR i can say for my experience that simply cant justify .. You will Miss her/Him even more after your 1st meeting up and back home to ur house thinking that you're already missing him/her alot , everyday your mind simply just kept thinking about them . Looking at your phone countless times waiting for their replies , Looking at their Profile pictures/ social network .. stalking them like you are a creed .. here's my story ..

I Have a girlfriend , she doesn't like to be on open r/s with me , i dk why but i respect her ...
she's cute , beautiful .. sexy .. . living just 1hour flight apart from me

She lives in jakarta .. i got to meet her last week , i can say that feels when you get to meet your LDR girlfriend .. your 1st kiss your 1st Hug your 1st Cuddle .. even ur 1st sexual.. okay .. i better don't get that far, sorry ;x ..
anyway .. here's my problem .. halfway on our stay at our hotel .. she show me things like a snack and ask me do you wanna try this ?With her big round dark eyes open wide like she wanna me to try .. so eventually i say yes ..
She went out told me to stay at the hotel living her phone on the hotel .. as rude as i was .. i was on her phone .. checking her whatsapp chat .. and things just went downhill then .. SHE BEEN CHEATING ON ME .. imagine u read the text of ur bf/gf with someone else .. Her latest text to him she didn't reply much .. maybe a few reply or one word then she ignore him afterwards .. then i scroll up i see .. '' LOVE YOU .. MISS YOU EVEN that guy being sexual to her (but she didn't took the bait , she only gave her answer as ''OH ,ya ?) .. everytime i scroll up the text my heart breaks down like a mirror break up to a million pieces ..the pain is unforgettable, till today i still feel hurts whenever i recall the text i read .. So i wait her to come back to the hotel .. and i confront her ..

Me : Who is this guy .. *show her the phone* ..
She : *look at me* .. *silence *...
Me : * Silence *
She : Bae .. Bae .. Bae ..
(Holding my hand , keep calling me for a whole min )
as hurt as i was i kept my composure and tell her the next thing i can think off ..
Me : do you know how hurt i was when i read the chat ? * i was about to tears off *
She : i know ..
( she ran off the hotel room , see-ing her red eyes .. just break my hearts too .. )
after awhile i go looking for her not long i found her .. she was crying alone , the face of her displayed the meant of regret. It really hurts me see-ing her like this because i really do love her .. i really do ..
without thinking much i hug her .. saying .
Me : Stop crying .. * Look at me * i love you bae but what you did really hurts me alot .. i am not angry i am just so hurt
( In my mind .. everyone deserve a 2nd chance .. maybe because i have a big heart .. i dont like to see girls cry .. i am not any nice guys too guess its just my karma ... )
Without even thinking i tell her to look at me ..
Me : Look at me .. i forgive you , bae ..
she immediately cry out loud on my shoulder like i never seen a girl cry that much before .. her tear kept dropping from her eyes to my shirt eventually wet out my whole shoulder area ..
She: i am Sorry .. * kept crying *
after her cries she felt weak and eventually fell a sick ( Heavy Headache ) as observance as i was .. i know her immune system isn't strong because she kept complaining her dizziness to me .. i even ask her if she have low blood pressure .. and she did ..

things went back to normal after all that happen that night .. maybe i scare to lose someone i love so i tend to forgive her even though i know forgiving a cheater is dangerous .. i know i am weak i felt liek a loser .. i know i cant let go .. i am sorry..

Days goes by until the last day we have to say goodbye to each other .. as much as i cant bear to leave her .. i gave her a last kiss and took off my taix .. and receive and a message later from her saying how sorry she was making such a big mistake
and hope i never regret meeting her .. which i never did .. because i love her alot .. i did enjoy my date with her even though things happen ..

NOW ... its my problem .. after that incident i felt dam insecure is not healthy i know specially when you're at LDR .. i Still trust her .. she even report to me saying she went out with a guy to watch movie and dinner and saying aleast she's telling a truth .. i know she's her friend .. i have no doubt on it .. me being Jealous ? Yes ,OF CAUSE .. days went by i really do miss her now miss her everything yet still being doubtful on her wondering if she say things are real .. i hate this feelings .. i WANT TO TRUST her .. I AM trusting her .. just that my heart telling me that i am hurt from that incident .. everytime i always asked her what she was doing and stuff .. she endure all my question from me i can felt she's quite annoyed thinking that i don't trust her .. she didn't say it out but u know im observance enough to feel it .. and now Everyday i am thinking of her . ;( Well i wish someone is with me .. i know alot people would say dump that cheater you FOOL but all i know is
loving some1 isn't hard .. everyone made mistakes .. everyone deserve a 2nd chance .. i always gave her the benefits than me ..

well .. i hope this r/s last a long long time and her being just loving me and me only .. because ..
i love you Christine i love you alot .. i wish you know how i feel ..

Wish to meet her soon .. maybe we sit out and talk about it ..

[Stanislava]

I completely understand you, I've gone through the same thing. I've been in a ldr for a year now , I'm from Bulgaria my partner is from the UK. We were planning to meet in April this year, he worked so hard to earn money to fly here and his boss didn't let him go. He wanted to leave so he can be with me but i stopped because i thought he would be homeless without any money and without anyone to rely on. He was crushed and so was i. Our communication was bad cause i was extremly busy with school and always tired from it. And so in the end of April he went out with another girl from his city for a few days...He was acting so i could tell something was going but i was telling myself he was loyal to me.I found out a few days later , partly from him ,partly by myself.I was extremly heartbroken and didnt go to school for 3 days.Didnt sleep for 24 hours and didnt eat for that time too.He hadnt done anything physical with her , he didnt love her , he just wanted someone to spend time with because we werent doing it.I was ashamed to talk about it because u felt like a fool for letting that be done to me and for wanting to be with him still.There is no excuse for what he had done but i tried my best to be understanding.I took a deep breath , i told myself im tired of being upset and just forgave.I let it go.I knew he loved me and that he was in a lot of pain.It took time but i gave him a second chance and told him he really needed to show me love for me to trust him again.Its been 2 months and half since then and i can say he is very loving and caring.We are meeting in 23 days , tickets are bought and everything is planned.We are very excited.Only time will tell if i made the right decision or not.For now everything is good and we have plans for the future together.You only know what feels right for YOU.If you feel you should give her another chance - do it.If you feel its not right and youll just be hurt - dont do it.At first its going to be very hard - youll always be full of fear and worry about what they could be doing but with time it goes away - you just get tired of letting fear control you.I wish you all the best!

[R&R]

It takes a certain kind of person to be able to forgive someone after they cheated on them. After all, they made a conscious decision to disrespect you and your relationship for their own selfish needs/wants/desires. They do need to work on gaining your trust back. It's not going to be instantaneous and can take years for you to be really comfortable and trust them again. Don't expect you are just going to forget about it or not think about it anymore.

I have two very good friends who had their spouses cheat on them and they did work it out. Granted, they were married and had kids together and were living in the same house. They both have successfully moved forward with no further issues and it has been years for them. One couple moved completely out of the state (over 2,000 miles away) from the situation and one has to deal with running into the other woman every now and then as we are all in the same area. It never really goes away for her due to that.

Me, I'm not one of those people. If you cheat, you are gone. I will not stick by someone who has been disrespectful like that and who I can no longer trust. Especially when you know if they hadn't been caught, they would have continued with the affair. I forgave someone once and that relationship ended when he got another woman pregnant - that was the final smack in the face that he had never stopped cheating and never would. I deserve(d) better than that. If you don't want to be with me, then don't cheat but leave. And if someone is unsure if they want to be in a relationship, then have the guts to say so while figuring things out. It's not right, fair or mature to hurt someone in the process of deciding what you want. You know this because you are the one hurting.

I wish you the best in figuring out things for you. Remember, you are valuable and worth someone who will give themselves wholly to a relationship with you.

[mrqing93]

I completely understand you, I've gone through the same thing. I've been in a ldr for a year now , I'm from Bulgaria my partner is from the UK. We were planning to meet in April this year, he worked so hard to earn money to fly here and his boss didn't let him go. He wanted to leave so he can be with me but i stopped because i thought he would be homeless without any money and without anyone to rely on. He was crushed and so was i. Our communication was bad cause i was extremly busy with school and always tired from it. And so in the end of April he went out with another girl from his city for a few days...He was acting so i could tell something was going but i was telling myself he was loyal to me.I found out a few days later , partly from him ,partly by myself.I was extremly heartbroken and didnt go to school for 3 days.Didnt sleep for 24 hours and didnt eat for that time too.He hadnt done anything physical with her , he didnt love her , he just wanted someone to spend time with because we werent doing it.I was ashamed to talk about it because u felt like a fool for letting that be done to me and for wanting to be with him still.There is no excuse for what he had done but i tried my best to be understanding.I took a deep breath , i told myself im tired of being upset and just forgave.I let it go.I knew he loved me and that he was in a lot of pain.It took time but i gave him a second chance and told him he really needed to show me love for me to trust him again.Its been 2 months and half since then and i can say he is very loving and caring.We are meeting in 23 days , tickets are bought and everything is planned.We are very excited.Only time will tell if i made the right decision or not.For now everything is good and we have plans for the future together.You only know what feels right for YOU.If you feel you should give her another chance - do it.If you feel its not right and youll just be hurt - dont do it.At first its going to be very hard - youll always be full of fear and worry about what they could be doing but with time it goes away - you just get tired of letting fear control you.I wish you all the best!

I am so glad that i am not feeling this alone .. we both understand how it feels .. seeing some1 u love being with someone else even though they dont love them .. i am happy for you that you be able to meet him soon !!! I will be meeting her at her next vocation ! I will tell you the feelings of you meeting him the 1st time .. you can actually hear ur heartbeats jump every seconds clearly !! Wish you luck !! For the best of us !!! Finger cross !!

[mrqing93]

Thanks guys ! Thanks for taking time to read and understand how i feel

[mrqing93]

It takes a certain kind of person to be able to forgive someone after they cheated on them. After all, they made a conscious decision to disrespect you and your relationship for their own selfish needs/wants/desires. They do need to work on gaining your trust back. It's not going to be instantaneous and can take years for you to be really comfortable and trust them again. Don't expect you are just going to forget about it or not think about it anymore.

I have two very good friends who had their spouses cheat on them and they did work it out. Granted, they were married and had kids together and were living in the same house. They both have successfully moved forward with no further issues and it has been years for them. One couple moved completely out of the state (over 2,000 miles away) from the situation and one has to deal with running into the other woman every now and then as we are all in the same area. It never really goes away for her due to that.

Me, I'm not one of those people. If you cheat, you are gone. I will not stick by someone who has been disrespectful like that and who I can no longer trust. Especially when you know if they hadn't been caught, they would have continued with the affair. I forgave someone once and that relationship ended when he got another woman pregnant - that was the final smack in the face that he had never stopped cheating and never would. I deserve(d) better than that. If you don't want to be with me, then don't cheat but leave. And if someone is unsure if they want to be in a relationship, then have the guts to say so while figuring things out. It's not right, fair or mature to hurt someone in the process of deciding what you want. You know this because you are the one hurting.

I wish you the best in figuring out things for you. Remember, you are valuable and worth someone who will give themselves wholly to a relationship with you.

Thanks bro .. i wish i am as strong as you .. you're the kind i really love looking up to when it comes to r/s ! But sadly i deeply in love with someone if i committed to them .. i have a weak heart but strong on loving someone .. !! I hope this work out for me too ! Maybe because i rarely have r/s in my life and i need love so badly .. you can say its unmatured

[mrqing93]

It takes a certain kind of person to be able to forgive someone after they cheated on them. After all, they made a conscious decision to disrespect you and your relationship for their own selfish needs/wants/desires. They do need to work on gaining your trust back. It's not going to be instantaneous and can take years for you to be really comfortable and trust them again. Don't expect you are just going to forget about it or not think about it anymore.

I have two very good friends who had their spouses cheat on them and they did work it out. Granted, they were married and had kids together and were living in the same house. They both have successfully moved forward with no further issues and it has been years for them. One couple moved completely out of the state (over 2,000 miles away) from the situation and one has to deal with running into the other woman every now and then as we are all in the same area. It never really goes away for her due to that.

Me, I'm not one of those people. If you cheat, you are gone. I will not stick by someone who has been disrespectful like that and who I can no longer trust. Especially when you know if they hadn't been caught, they would have continued with the affair. I forgave someone once and that relationship ended when he got another woman pregnant - that was the final smack in the face that he had never stopped cheating and never would. I deserve(d) better than that. If you don't want to be with me, then don't cheat but leave. And if someone is unsure if they want to be in a relationship, then have the guts to say so while figuring things out. It's not right, fair or mature to hurt someone in the process of deciding what you want. You know this because you are the one hurting.

I wish you the best in figuring out things for you. Remember, you are valuable and worth someone who will give themselves wholly to a relationship with you.

Thanks bro .. i wish i am as strong as you .. you're the kind i really love looking up to when it comes to r/s ! But sadly i deeply in love with someone if i committed to them .. i have a weak heart but strong on loving someone .. !! I hope this work out for me too ! Maybe because i rarely have r/s in my life and i need love so badly .. you can say its unmatured

*sis* i mean ! Sorry !

[R&R]

*siso* i mean ! Sorry !

That's ok. And though sometimes it's hard, remember that you are important and valuable. If you remember to love and respect yourself, it makes it easier to walk away from bad relationships. Love is important in anyone's life but don't settle for less than the right love. You deserve to receive the same respect, love and dedication that you give to the other person in a relationship. Sometimes we need to work on loving ourselves and figuring out that we are important before bringing another person into our life.

[mrqing93]

That's ok. And though sometimes it's hard, remember that you are important and valuable. If you remember to love and respect yourself, it makes it easier to walk away from bad relationships. Love is important in anyone's life but don't settle for less than the right love. You deserve to receive the same respect, love and dedication that you give to the other person in a relationship. Sometimes we need to work on loving ourselves and figuring out that we are important before bringing another person into our life.

Hey sis .. there is one more i wanted to hear ur advise .. my girlfriend doesnt like to go open r/s with me .. whereby she donesnt let anyone know she have a boyfriend .. :/ i ask her why .. she didnt open up much on me .. can i know why ? I try not to be so nagetive about it and being "anyhow think"

[R&R]

Hey sis .. there is one more i wanted to hear ur advise .. my girlfriend doesnt like to go open r/s with me .. whereby she donesnt let anyone know she have a boyfriend .. :/ i ask her why .. she didnt open up much on me .. can i know why ? I try not to be so nagetive about it and being "anyhow think"

There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. My SO is a very private person and doesn't have our relationship all over social media. However, I have met some of his kids and his others know about me. I've met friends, etc. So he is private but I am not a secret.

You though, are a secret. Generally someone keeps you a secret so they can do other things that they want to. This was proven to you when she cheated on you. I highly doubt the other guy even knew about you as she is presenting herself as single to the world. There are just too many things that show that she isn't really serious about you at all. It sounds like more of a power trip for her to how long she can keep you hanging on. In my opinion, you are definitely not the only one she is playing this game with.