I love my SO a lot but there's one way in particular we are fundamentally very different people. I honestly don't know if in the long term it's going to drive us both insane or if it's something we can learn to compromise with. We've been together four years now and it's really only something I've started to notice but if I'm noticing it (and getting irritated by it) now after four years, what is it going to be like after forty years!!
Ultimately it boils down to my lack of ability to compromise without feeling some degree of resentment, which I am well aware is a flaw of mine and if there's a way to change that, I'm all ears!
The issue is that I'm naturally adventurous and he's naturally cautious. Before he got to know me, he didn't own a passport or had been to more than two states in the USA (he lives practically on the border of the two he had been to), whereas I have always travelled and moved around a lot and really am not one to settle anywhere. At this point, I should fairly mention that ultimately he's the one who is going to move here, so the ultimate sacrifice in terms of moving and I am very grateful for that (btw I would have moved over there years ago if it weren't for having my daughter here but I won't move her away from her Dad or family).
However, the difference between us is becoming very noticeable. When I go there next week, I'll be staying for 3-weeks and for months I've been suggesting things we could do whilst I'm there. I've been over a few times now and have seen his hometown and very local area A LOT. Obviously the main reason for going is to see him but I also would love to see a bit more of America whilst over there. Every suggestion I have made, he's had an excuse for - too far, too expensive, too much driving, too hot etc etc. Some perfectly valid excuses, I am very grateful for him reigning me in sometimes otherwise I'd have had us on some crazy interstate drive for 3-weeks. But I just want to do something different!! We had finally compromised on going camping in one of the local state parks....not too far from where he lives, not too expensive but something different at least. Now, he's just decided that's a bad idea too as it'll be too hot and humid in a tent. Again, I know he's just been sensible, the weather in VA at this time of year is hot and humid and it could be the worst night's sleep of our lives but he doesn't seem to get that I still want to try.
I know I'll end up compromising but like I said earlier I know part of me will also still feel a slight resentment. Pah. I guess I'll talk to him again and see if I can suggest something else.
Ultimately it boils down to my lack of ability to compromise without feeling some degree of resentment, which I am well aware is a flaw of mine and if there's a way to change that, I'm all ears!
The issue is that I'm naturally adventurous and he's naturally cautious. Before he got to know me, he didn't own a passport or had been to more than two states in the USA (he lives practically on the border of the two he had been to), whereas I have always travelled and moved around a lot and really am not one to settle anywhere. At this point, I should fairly mention that ultimately he's the one who is going to move here, so the ultimate sacrifice in terms of moving and I am very grateful for that (btw I would have moved over there years ago if it weren't for having my daughter here but I won't move her away from her Dad or family).
However, the difference between us is becoming very noticeable. When I go there next week, I'll be staying for 3-weeks and for months I've been suggesting things we could do whilst I'm there. I've been over a few times now and have seen his hometown and very local area A LOT. Obviously the main reason for going is to see him but I also would love to see a bit more of America whilst over there. Every suggestion I have made, he's had an excuse for - too far, too expensive, too much driving, too hot etc etc. Some perfectly valid excuses, I am very grateful for him reigning me in sometimes otherwise I'd have had us on some crazy interstate drive for 3-weeks. But I just want to do something different!! We had finally compromised on going camping in one of the local state parks....not too far from where he lives, not too expensive but something different at least. Now, he's just decided that's a bad idea too as it'll be too hot and humid in a tent. Again, I know he's just been sensible, the weather in VA at this time of year is hot and humid and it could be the worst night's sleep of our lives but he doesn't seem to get that I still want to try.
I know I'll end up compromising but like I said earlier I know part of me will also still feel a slight resentment. Pah. I guess I'll talk to him again and see if I can suggest something else.
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