New Friend!!! ^_^ And a new discussion

[KeeperoftheAirmansHeart]

Hey yall! =) Okay so tonight I made a new friend named Michelle at my school, an we just send the last 45 mins talking about Drew and working out and all kinds of things =)

It was so nice to be able to talk to a friend about my boyfriend and just babble on! ^_^ I LOVE talking to Drew but ik that talking to him isn't healthy if he's the only person i'm tlking to (one reason I joined this site). I'm so happy to have all of you here to support me, and to give advice to myself! =) Hehe, uk being in an LDR has ironically made me MUCH more positive.

Anyway, Sunday night Drew and I talked about how i'm always planning things, and just asking when he's going to talk to me next. It's been very nagging, and I would get on the phone with him and whenever we got off i'd be like, how long will u b out w friends, when can you call me again, ext ext. He said that it was bothering him bc it seemed like i was putting him on a leash like his mother does =( Soooo after thinking about it i finally gave in, and realized that i've been SOOOOO selfish lately. =( I was like, uk the only reason i have sucha a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of letting go, and letting you hang with friends is because i'm being selfish, and the only question i'm asking myself is "is this fair to me?" Lol so in the conversation i changed my mindset completely, and realized we don't need to talk all the time, and if we dnt tlk for a while it'll be okay/

The biggest thing i needed to wrap my head around was that Drew's going to give me adaquate time to talk to him no matter what. If he doesn't i can tell him, but nagging him won't make him want to talk to me any more than he is now. So i said, baby i'm giving you a lot of leach here (ik that's a bad word for it but i cn be controlling) and i'm going to trust you by saying just call me when you can or when you have time =)

Turned out that now he's always txting me, even when i don't text him. Last night he stayed on the fone txting till about 3 (i mean sunday) and I'm the one having to have the self control now. Weve decided on a happy medium that we set dates on fri/sat so that way we know that at least once a week we can talk for a few hours. But if we don't or if something comes up, i don't need to get mad lol. It's pointless bc it's not going to get me newhere.

Today i called him btwn classes to leave a message and he was like bby it's so nice to hear ur voice =) Can i call you? lol turns out i didnt get the message till later but i was busy. And yesterday he called me in the morning! =) this hasn't happened in a while.

I hope that this example may give some advice or insight to some of you, buttt if not i really just wanted to let ya'll know how it's going and to share the good news! =) Thanks's for everyones support!

Amanda

[Alisz]

Congratz on the friend I know what you mean about talking to other people about your relationship. I spent the day with a friend recently I haven't been able to see for awhile (she's pretty busy) and it was nice talking to her about Ray. I didn't even bring him up, she was just interested and curious about him. She has her opinions about LDRs because she thinks it's so difficult, but she doesn't discourage me from my relationship and tell me that I should date someone else. I love talking to Ray, but yeah, it's nice to talk to someone else about us sometimes too.

That's good that you realize the things you're doing and having conversations about it with him. ^^ In our relationship we tell each other where we're going and when we'll be back partially out of habit and also so the other doesn't worry. And it's not like we have anything to hide from each other. We know we'll tell each other about it when we get home anyways hehe And we often sneak away to text each other "I love you"s. Yeah, we're kinda clingy to each other, but since we both are it's not really an issue. ^^;;

We did get into a conversation one night that he felt like he couldn't do anything he wanted to do for fear I'd get upset. I told him that I didn't mind if he wanted to do something, but the times I had gotten upset were because we had already planned our night and he was asking me to change it when I wanted to spend it with him. :/ I ended up questioning him what it is specifically that he feels like he can't do. He didn't have an answer. So, it was like, "What are you getting worked up over then? ^^;; " He's gone out before and he goes out every night for dinner, it doesn't bother me then.

[Mio]

That is great!

[Laura]

Y'know... this is exactly what happened between me and Paul. For the first few months I was the biggest pain in the arse you could ever meet. I actually went through a stage of phoning him about 4 times a day, and it must have driven him bonkers. But he did put up with it, and for that he's amazing. I realised a bit later... wait a minute, I'm being a complete control freak and it would do my head in if he'd been like that with me. I stopped harrassing him so much and he texts me all the time now. Also, we started off for about a year with one phone-call a day, and we now talk on the phone every other day. We have a lot more to talk about now. Less really is more, sometimes. :-)
It's embarrassing to think of how I was before. It was because of some trust issues from previous relationships (LONG story), but that's no excuse.

[JoMarie]

thats great for you. New friends are really great, and friends that you can talk to about your SO are even better! Keep working at socializing with other people! Friends can be supportive and distracting (in a good way) when your SO is in another city/state/country. It's good that you see that mistakes you have made and that things have gotten better for you because of it!

[Jennifer&Georgex3]

I know where you all are coming from!
George is the every-word-that-comes-out-of-my-mouth. I know I'm infatuated with him. I can't stop talking about him, and, you know, as Betty Hutton would 'sing', "...and if he was your's, well neither would you!" Haha!

Because of my lack of friends this past year, LFAD has been a place where I've grown friendships. Everyone here is so... just darn wonderful! We can share stories, creative ideas, and more! It's wonderful. Jackie, here on LFAD, has become one of my best friends, to be honest, and we talk about Chris and George non-stop. Haha! [Thanks, Facebook. O.- ]

I know that I'm controlling, but I also feel that I'm the 'healthy kind' of controller. A relationship does need some control and boundaries. Why? Well, because you both do not see one another physically and connections can sometimes be 'loose' or hard to get around to, being planned and controlled does help the relationship because then there is time to enjoy one another!
'Fortune comes to the prepared mind.' -- or planned in this sense. I feel that with a controlled environment, George and I have planned time together and get to be with one another and know that we WILL have our time. It's a healthy amount and we get what we need to get done (with texts, calls, and chat in between).

My relationship kicks butt.

[JoMarie]

I really do think we're all here for support from one another. I mean the advice is good, but sometimes we all need a good kick in the butt to see what we've been doing wrong! Haha I really enjoy all of you guys!

[Jackie]

This is something I've been working on as well! Maybe not necessarily hounding Chris about when I'll talk to him next or whatever... but I've been really chill lately about going for a day or two without talking to him (which might sound bonkers to some of you!) Anyways, I started feeling kind of jealous because he would go out during the weekends with his friends/brother and I would feel like he was "leaving" me here all alone. Usually during the week we talking for the entire day after we're done with school (which, thanks to the time difference, is around the same time ), but I had never brought it up to him because I didn't want to stop him from spending time with someone other than me. I mean, we're not married or anything... so why should he feel obliged to stay home just to sit on the computer and talk to me? And then I started thinking... wait, why should I stay at home too?! Just because I'm in a long distance relationship with someone I can only talk to on the computer, doesn't mean I have to completely abandon hanging out with my friends and actually having a social life.

So, I say all that to point out that my friends seem to be very grateful about my new revelation, and it makes me feel happy that I'm getting some time to spend with my friends.

And since she made a lovely shout-out to me... Jennifer is seriously one of the most amazingest people you'll ever meet! She really knows how to keep you company, and she's a really good friend. I'm so happy I met her, as well as everyone here at LFAD! You guys rock so hard in my book, and I have no idea where I would be without the company and advice of the people here.

[KeeperoftheAirmansHeart]

=) Yea i felt the same way as you jackie about getting jealous! Lol, i'm like you live with them! Why cnt you spend more time with me? =( Lol and then i realized i was really asking too much of him and he would LOVE to spend all day talking to me, but he really likes having friends and doesn't want to lose them. =) So i'm okay with it. The past few days hav been great! lol. I get off the phone easier, i let him take naps when he needs to... letting go has released sooo much stress =)