Longest Long Distance Relationship?

[maybesomeday]

I haven't introduced my story yet, but I would like to know what opinions are out there about the following:

He lives in England and I'm in Australia, 16,377.80km away from each other. Seems like one of the longest long distance relationships. I see so many people living only hundreds or a couple of thousand km's away from their partners, and then I look at mine and it seems extreme and impossible. We plan to meet in April/May of next year, but I'm finding it hard to believe that it can turn into something permanent. I'm not willing to move to the UK, but he seems keen to move to Australia. But it seems so unbelievable that someone would literally move across the world to be with someone. He'll essentially be starting over in a new country, no family, no friends, no one he knows except for me. And the whole process of moving is a hassle, it's probably 10x more so to move to a different country. Lots of time, paper work, money, risk. Is moving so far away to be with someone even realistic? I don't hear of many people doing it, and the rare few I have heard of haven't lasted. You can probably tell by this post that I am not a very romantic, optimistic type of person. I'm very grounded, and I like to prefer "realistic" over "pessimistic". I often try to talk sense into all his hopeful and confident dreams, but he's firm on his thoughts just as I am on my own.

Is it realistic to pursue a relationship with such a large amount of distance between us? Am I not right in assuming the chance of something like this working out for the long run is pretty slim, based on the above information?

Thanks.

[sasad]

You have already made the decision..... But to be honest, yours isn't the farmers to or longest or anything... Being apart and making it work is not a competition. We do it because we WANT to.

[maybesomeday]

You have already made the decision..... But to be honest, yours isn't the farmers to or longest or anything... Being apart and making it work is not a competition. We do it because we WANT to.

Never said it was a competition. Merely saying I feel it's a great distance compared to what I typically see people in, and definitely one that's less likely work out. Don't twist.

[kittyxuchiha11]

Sure that is a big distance between you both but we have quite a few people on here that have distances similar to that and they're making it work or have already closed the distance. You need to want to believe it can work to make it work, yes a realistic view is that it might not work because of the distance and the fact it's hard to move to another country, but if you both love each other a enough you'll be able to do it. I mean you can say no relationship ever will work because of certain factors but that's just making up reasons to be worried and to not commit completely. The bottom line is if you truly believe it won't work then don't pursue it. it's not fair to you or your partner because you won't be giving it your all. but if you do think it is worth it then prove it and go for it.
Best of luck to you :3

[maybesomeday]

Sure that is a big distance between you both but we have quite a few people on here that have distances similar to that and they're making it work or have already closed the distance. You need to want to believe it can work to make it work, yes a realistic view is that it might not work because of the distance and the fact it's hard to move to another country, but if you both love each other a enough you'll be able to do it. I mean you can say no relationship ever will work because of certain factors but that's just making up reasons to be worried and to not commit completely. The bottom line is if you truly believe it won't work then don't pursue it. it's not fair to you or your partner because you won't be giving it your all. but if you do think it is worth it then prove it and go for it.
Best of luck to you :3

Thank for the advice. I agree, two people need to be all in or not in at all, I suppose. I'm trying to be more open and positive about it. I just sometimes have moments where I focus more on all the practicalities.

[Moon]

Hello, welcome. You found an LDR forum, so before thinking and posting about your relationship being almost impossible, you might want to spend a few hours reading through the forum first. It might change your perspective quite a bit seeing how many people are in similar situations. I've been around here for years and have seen many international couples manage to close the distance, it's not always easy, but it's absolutely doable. Yes, some do breakup, but no more than any close distance couple. Yes, you have a lot of miles between you, but with all the communication options we have now, you can overcome those miles if it's the right relationship. Good luck.

[lucybelle]

A- distance is not a competition. You will rub lots of people the wrong way by claiming you have it harder than they do.

B- yours is not the longest, miles or years.

C- closing the distance internationally has a few more hoops to jump through than domestically. But I did it, and many other couples have.

D- all LDRs take patience, lots of communication and also sacrifice. If you are willing, and work hard, you will find a way.

[Unconditional]

It looks harrowing at the moment but if two people are dually dedicated, they can make it work. The chances of it failing because of distance are no more so that close distance couples. YOU need to decide if this is what you want. The road will not be easy, or short, and there will be no inabundance of obstacles to get over but it is worth it for the right person.

[Honour]

Doesn't matter how far, distance sucks. But like lucybelle said, you can overcome it if you persevere and want it badly enough.

[shaybib]

I think that once there is a distance (which require flights) it is not very important the actual distance...
the communication with phones and internet etc is the same for all distances.

[maybesomeday]

A- distance is not a competition. You will rub lots of people the wrong way by claiming you have it harder than they do.

B- yours is not the longest, miles or years.

C- closing the distance internationally has a few more hoops to jump through than domestically. But I did it, and many other couples have.

D- all LDRs take patience, lots of communication and also sacrifice. If you are willing, and work hard, you will find a way.

Seriously twisting what I said. I have not made it out to be a competition, and I never said I have it harder than others. It's like I have to word something exactly right for people not to jump to assumptions. All I've said is that I worry the distance is rather significant in my case, and I worry it's too much so to conquer.

[Redheart14]

It can be overwhelming but it can be overcome if you are both on the same page. It can be hard but also is extremely rewarding too.

[R&R]

I haven't introduced my story yet, but I would like to know what opinions are out there about the following:

He lives in England and I'm in Australia, 16,377.80km away from each other. Seems like one of the longest long distance relationships. I see so many people living only hundreds or a couple of thousand km's away from their partners, and then I look at mine and it seems extreme and impossible. We plan to meet in April/May of next year, but I'm finding it hard to believe that it can turn into something permanent. I'm not willing to move to the UK, but he seems keen to move to Australia. But it seems so unbelievable that someone would literally move across the world to be with someone. He'll essentially be starting over in a new country, no family, no friends, no one he knows except for me. And the whole process of moving is a hassle, it's probably 10x more so to move to a different country. Lots of time, paper work, money, risk. Is moving so far away to be with someone even realistic? I don't hear of many people doing it, and the rare few I have heard of haven't lasted. You can probably tell by this post that I am not a very romantic, optimistic type of person. I'm very grounded, and I like to prefer "realistic" over "pessimistic". I often try to talk sense into all his hopeful and confident dreams, but he's firm on his thoughts just as I am on my own.

Is it realistic to pursue a relationship with such a large amount of distance between us? Am I not right in assuming the chance of something like this working out for the long run is pretty slim, based on the above information?

Thanks.

This is where people are reading that it sounds like a competition or that your situation is worse than those that live closer.

We have a couple on here now where she left the US and is in Australia and they have submitted the paperwork for the partner Visa. They still have a lot to go but she can stay there now until it's complete. We recently had someone go from the US to the Netherlands. Other people have moved from other countries to the USA. Any time there is moving to another country and Visa's, it's quite a process that takes work, dedication and money. If you really want it to happen, you will both work towards that end goal.

[80anthea]

Wow, I think some people are being over-sensitive and extremely harsh on the OP. Nowhere has she said that people have it easy or it's a competition.

However, it is a fact that some people have more hurdles to close the distance / maintain a relationship than others. This isn't a judgement on how easy or difficult emotionally the relationship is!

Compare the two theoretical relationships:

Couple A - live in the same state but 50 miles away from each other.

Couple B - live 7000 miles away on different continents in time zones which are 8-hours apart.

Which of the two are more likely to be able to see each other most often? Of course each circumstance is different and it might be that Couple A have a harder time emotionally dealing with the frustrations of the distance. However, in order to visit they are unlikely to have to book months in advance, pay £100s of pounds in travel costs, organise visas, passports, book long time off work etc. To close the distance couple A probably won't have the same expense, emotional upheaval of leaving family and friends or have the immigration bureaucracy to go through. It isn't insulting to say that in some ways Couple A have an easier logistical time than Couple B.

However, I will say to the OP that neither situation makes a successful relationship more or less likely. I've been around on here long enough to see Couples with extreme distance survive. close the distance and still be happy. I've also seen people with much smaller distances in relationships that fail for various reasons. Don't try and judge success on potential logistical difficulties.

[maybesomeday]

Wow, I think some people are being over-sensitive and extremely harsh on the OP. Nowhere has she said that people have it easy or it's a competition.

However, it is a fact that some people have more hurdles to close the distance / maintain a relationship than others. This isn't a judgement on how easy or difficult emotionally the relationship is!

Compare the two theoretical relationships:

Couple A - live in the same state but 50 miles away from each other.

Couple B - live 7000 miles away on different continents in time zones which are 8-hours apart.

Which of the two are more likely to be able to see each other most often? Of course each circumstance is different and it might be that Couple A have a harder time emotionally dealing with the frustrations of the distance. However, in order to visit they are unlikely to have to book months in advance, pay £100s of pounds in travel costs, organise visas, passports, book long time off work etc. To close the distance couple A probably won't have the same expense, emotional upheaval of leaving family and friends or have the immigration bureaucracy to go through. It isn't insulting to say that in some ways Couple A have an easier logistical time than Couple B.

However, I will say to the OP that neither situation makes a successful relationship more or less likely. I've been around on here long enough to see Couples with extreme distance survive. close the distance and still be happy. I've also seen people with much smaller distances in relationships that fail for various reasons. Don't try and judge success on potential logistical difficulties.

You understand where I was trying to go with my post, so thank you. And what you've said makes complete and total sense. I suppose the distance isn't the only thing to consider when it comes to what will succeed and what will fail.