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I feel like his action does not bode well?

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    I feel like his action does not bode well?

    Sorry about all the posts, but I am just anxious. After being disappointed by people, I kind of think the worst of the situation, until the other person fulfills their end. The guy I have been dating is planning to come down to see me (end of the year), the only thing he told me was he always waits till the last minute. He has the $ for the flight and the flight prices right now are low, he has yet to book the tickets. I already mentioned to him to watch prices as I know that they will go up 3 or even 4 times what they are now. I guess I am afraid that he will wait and wait, the tickets will be too expensive and he won't be able to make it down here because he can't afford it. I already mentioned it twice and I want him to show enough interest to not disappoint me. I am going to see him again, for longer, so that shouldn't make him question my commitment. I booked the tickets way in advance. Is it me or would have the mind set of if he has the $ and time off, what is topping him from booking the tickets? Thoughts please and thanks!

    #2
    Might be worth sharing how you feel with him. He may well have no idea about how you are feeling.


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      #3
      Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
      Sorry about all the posts, but I am just anxious. After being disappointed by people, I kind of think the worst of the situation, until the other person fulfills their end. The guy I have been dating is planning to come down to see me (end of the year), the only thing he told me was he always waits till the last minute. He has the $ for the flight and the flight prices right now are low, he has yet to book the tickets. I already mentioned to him to watch prices as I know that they will go up 3 or even 4 times what they are now. I guess I am afraid that he will wait and wait, the tickets will be too expensive and he won't be able to make it down here because he can't afford it. I already mentioned it twice and I want him to show enough interest to not disappoint me. I am going to see him again, for longer, so that shouldn't make him question my commitment. I booked the tickets way in advance. Is it me or would have the mind set of if he has the $ and time off, what is topping him from booking the tickets? Thoughts please and thanks!
      I can understand the feeling. Your anxiety is justifiable. I was thinking that a couple weeks ago, until I made a decision that I was going to visit the woman I have definite feelings for, in January. I surprised her. I spent a week with her last month. I told her after that visit. That I wasn't very forward. Because I didn't want to come on too strong. While we agree no sex. We will be doing other stuff.

      My last LDR went on for 4+yrs. with no CD in sight. She did want CD right away, but I told her it was too early.

      I won't visit her during the summer. Because of the ticket prices. But Sept.-Mar. absolutely.

      Edit: What shall be on the agenda, lol
      Last edited by Chris516; October 18, 2016, 02:19 AM. Reason: Laughing

      First Visit: September 2016
      Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
      Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

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      For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
      John 4:12
      I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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        #4
        It just seems so unreasonable to not book the tickets as they will only get more expensive as time goes on. I understand that he might be waiting for them to drop, but that's rather unlikely.

        Expedia and ARC determined that the best time to buy an economy ticket for travel within North America is roughly 57 days in advance, yielding a potential savings of about 10 percent versus the average fare. Optimal lead times for tickets from North America to international destinations are longer.
        https://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...300190974.html

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        Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
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          #5
          You can definitely share your concerns, but it comes down to the fact that he is an adult and you have to let him book the flight. Sometimes it's hard to let someone who doesn't plan or do things the same way you do it their way. My SO is the same way and waits until the last minute for everything. It's not a reflection on how he feels about me or our relationship - it's just how he does things. It can be frustrating, but I know this about him and have learned to deal with it.

          Due to this attitude though, it has meant he's missed a couple of flights here too. The first time, the whold trip was canceled. The second time, his ass sat in the airport 24-hours before being able to get on a flight. Sometimes it takes learning the hard way for them.
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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            #6
            I can understand your anxiety. My partner is the same way in a lot of things. I have talked to him and said how it looks to me. He always says it is because of his lazyness. In general I don't like to be waited around and if he can't get around sorting something that he has said he would then I just let it go and plan something else for my self. Some might consider this childish and I know I'm also suffering from this since we can't necessarily meet up. I just don't like uncertanty and unfairness that I have to keep my schedule open untill he gets around to buy the ticket.

            Worst case is that it is a power and controll thing or his just not too keen on meetig up. Best case is that it's just his personality. All you can do is tell him how you feel and accept this as his quality. Good luck
            Last edited by Rezie; October 17, 2016, 10:25 AM.

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              #7
              It is my understanding that you've visited this guy already. If I were you, I would share my experience.

              "Hey hon, look, when I book my tickets in advance I'm able to save a good bit of money. When I wait last minute, the prices are usually a lot higher. I would try looking at the prices now if I were you."

              My partner knows that I get bargain prices for a lot of things, but she doesn't know how. I've slowly introduced her to bargain shopping, sales, coupons, rebates, etc.

              There are truly folks in this world who do not take any of that into account, nor do they take the time or energy to find out about it.

              Keep in mind that we live in an immediate gratification world, and that a lot of people open an app, buy a plane ticket, and don't think a thing about comparison shopping or planning ahead. Let that marinate.

              I am a really level headed, grounded person who tends to like artistic folks.

              I'm a brick. My partners are almost always balloons.

              Brick people are grounded, usually financially stable, plan in advance, strive for stability. Balloons are artistic, sometimes flighty, spontaneous, easy going....

              Sure, I have to accept the differences between us, but I am often able to encourage my partner to look ahead an plan. She is reasonable and will listen when I encourage her to look at planning for something.

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                #8
                Thanks for your posts. I just can't help thinking about if he doesn't book the tickets, he won't go out of his way to do things. This sounds negative, but I have had experience where I would let things slide and the person ended up taking me for granted. This persons patterns were the same, I would always tell him what dates he needed to take off and he never took them off, the times he could make it was just a lucky coincidence that he had that day off. The tickets for this particular airline are the cheapest they will be, prices fluctuate daily, I booked them as soon as they were that particular price. I already told him I would be pretty sad if he didn't make it down and he said he didn't want to disappoint. I will not mentioning him booking the tickets again, the ball is in his court and I want him to do it because he wants to do it, not because I bug him. Idk I guess I'm sick and tired chasing people instead of letting them work for me. I just need to be patient w/him, I really care for him and he seems to care for me, but I need action, not words.

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