She always have a 2nd boyfriend

[joshuaex]

Getting tired of this second internet boyfriend BS my gf keeps having

[R&R]

Simple - break it off with her. If you have agreed to an exclusive relationship and she disrespects that decision by cheating on you - then why would you stay? (And "because I love her" is not a valid response to that question.)

[joshuaex]

I've been there for 6 years we see each other in person every 3 or so months

[R&R]

And you are in an exclusive relationship and she cheats on you?

If so, she is disrespecting you as a person and as her bf, as well as the relationship. Her actions are telling you that she is more concerned about what she wants and is acting very selfishly. If she doesn't believe she can be faithful, she should have broken it off and moved on with dating multiple people while allowing you to find someone with who you can have a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, length of time together doesn't mean anything to some. One of my co-workers had been with her spouse 17 years, married, 2 kids, home, etc and left him for another man. Maybe it's time to put yourself first and let go so you can be happy with someone who wants to be with just you.

[joshuaex]

We have broken up on and off before but it never lasts long I hear what you're saying though

[whatruckus]

Reading your other thread and this one, it just really seems like you're unhappy and she's not making you happy. If you're not okay with her seeing other people, then either you need to talk to her about it and express that you want both of you to be exclusive, or you can end it. If things continue going the way that they're going, you're never going to be happy.

Being with someone just because you "love" them and because you've been together for so long isn't a good excuse. I dated someone for 5 years who cheated on me multiple times. I stayed because I thought I wasn't going to find anyone else and we had been together for a very long time. My ex that I joined this site for, we were together for 3 years and I stayed because I thought he could change back to who he was when we first started dating, it didn't happen. So, I'm about your age, and I was in two very serious, very long, relationships before. 8 years of my life I wasted with 2 guys because I hoped they would change and things would get better. They never did.

Do yourself a favor, make yourself happy and do one of the things I suggested. In all honesty though, it seems like she'd rather have her fun with being in an open relationship.

I've been single for almost a year now. I'm talking to someone who's very nice. I've accepted being on my own, and learned how to be on my own. If this guy turns into something more, awesome, I would love it. But, I'm not going to hold my breath either. There are lots of people out there. You just need to open yourself up to them.

[hmrambling]

At some point, you aren't a victim of her cheating because you contribute to the problem by continuing to stay in the relationship. As long as you stay in the relationship, you are allowing the behavior. As long as you allow the behavior, it will continue.

If someone shows you who they are, believe them! If my partner always cheated on me, I would be a fool to expect anything different in the future. A person's past and current actions show you who that person is. It's on you if you choose not to believe who they are.

Maybe you are the side boyfriend. Think about it.

[Chris516]

Getting tired of this second internet boyfriend BS my gf keeps having

I sort of know what you mean. It was local instead of the Internet and it was in high school. The pain, exasperation, frustration is pretty much the same.

Show her the door.

[Mims27]

I don't think it matter how long you have been with her, it sounds like she's just keeping you around for her own selfish purposes. Or just because she can. This situation is totally unfair and disrespectful to you. You deserve better. Ask yourself, if she actually cared, would she be cheating? I know you love her, but I get the impression that she doesn't feel the same way you do.

[sasad]

Just to clarify... she has internet boyfriends or does she actually meet up with these other guys? Or do you know what the truth is from her?

Cheating is cheating... doesn't have to be physical .

[differentcountries]

The problem with on and off relationships, is that people are constantly being kept on their toes and there is not a proper ground to negotiate what the relationship should be about. I used to date a guy like that, he was a bit like "I just do what I want to do". After a while of that crap, I did what I wanted to do, too - which was to distance myself emotionally and no longer be in such an unstable situation. He could never tell me exactly what he wanted or expected from me, which for a time made me wait, until I really felt that I was waiting for nothing because he IS impulsive and lacks patience with hardship. I remember it was hard for me to wrap my head around it, not just because I was in love, but also because he was a man of two faces; the charming, but also emotionally close person, and the closed off one who did not really engage with me about our relationship. I decided that it is was not enough for me. He was not enough. I wanted passion, but also to feel safe. He made feel unsafe, and my passion dwindled because even the hardship was becoming routine; I could predict the exact ways he would engage and withdraw. I saw too that I was attracted to the dance of closeness and distance, I might even need it somehow. We are not not friends, it is just that I stopped feeling that it was up to me to fix things. I was like: look at yourself. These are not the actions of a grown man towards his beloved. You will not get a woman like me acting like that. You will not get a woman like me to love you, only a woman who can be played. It was a sad moment; finding out that even if we could have stayed together, I would not be able to respect him.