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Are your friends supportive of your LDR?

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    Are your friends supportive of your LDR?

    It's really interesting to me how my friends react to my relationship with Belvy. When he was here, all of my friends thought we were the cutest couple and realized how much we both loved each other and wanted to be together. However, their opinions of all that changed April 27th when Belvy left for China. My friends started telling me that it wasn't worth me waiting for him and asking why I was holding up my life for him when I'm still young and could be missing out on life.

    I know they're my friends and I know they want what's best for me, but it's frustrating that they don't understand that I'm not holding up my life and not missing out, and that really I just love Belvy so much that I am willing to wait for him to come home, even if that's going to be 3 years or more.

    So what I'm curious about is how are your friends about your ldr? Are they supportive or do they question it?


    我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

    #2
    My friend is totally supportive. She met her current girlfriend online so that aspect wasn't weird for her, plus she thinks it's cool that I get to visit Denmark.

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      #3
      The one friend I had wasn't. At first she was super supportive but as time went by she became insanely jealous and was accusing my SO of being a liar, a rapist, using me only for my virginity, told me I was a whore, then went on and on about how when I met him he'd have sex with me, let his friends have sex with me, then either kill me or toss me out on the streets of Florida to wander until I died. She would also tell me he was turning me ghetto and stupid.

      Just because they are your friends or say they are doesn't mean their judgment can't get clouded by jealousy, paranoia, or anything else.

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        #4
        We had several non supportive friends, even one couple in an LDR themselves. o.O Surprisingly the most supportive people were his parents and my mother. Some friends didn't bash it, but made it clear I was nuts and it probably wouldn't work... I type this with my husband across the room. :P

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          #5
          My friends are supportive of it and they are looking forward to meeting my SO.

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            #6
            My friends are very supportive. They like my SO a lot, and they always ask how he is, and when he's coming to visit, etc.


            "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
            - A. A. Milne

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              #7
              Most of my friends accept the fact that I'm in this for the long haul and they know that I won't change my mind XD
              Two of my close friends, both guys, don't like that I'm in an LDR and that I'm back with the guy who broke up with me 3-4 times, but they know that I'll defend it to the death. Silly guys!

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                #8
                My friends thought it was odd at first because I had met my SO on an online game. Now that they have met him in person, they think we're a cute couple and they wish us the best. I know they still see it as odd, waiting for each other and going all these years without the closeness of our SO, but they aren't against it and support me if anything. We've been together for 2 1/2 years so far and my friends can't believe it's been so long already. :P

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                  #9
                  My circle of friends know about my LDR but doesn't take it serious so they aren't totally supportive but is happy that i am happy with my relationship. The only two people that are super totally supportive is my best friend and my dad (i think)

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by xMesmerize124 View Post
                    My circle of friends know about my LDR but doesn't take it serious so they aren't totally supportive but is happy that i am happy with my relationship. The only two people that are super totally supportive is my best friend and my dad (i think)
                    Yeah, the most supportive people are actually his friends and his family, my friends just think that I'm crazy for putting up with the long distance thing, which I guess for my best friend is her opinion because she was in a long distance relationship that ended up not working out and I think she's just worried that I'm going to get my heart broken like she did. But his family and his friends are super supportive of us being together, I think his family especially really likes me and the fact that he hasn't really been in a serious relationship is huge to them because his mom has told me several times that I'm really good for him. It's nice to have the mom approval.


                    我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

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                      #11
                      My friends are cool with it, especially as one of them sort of set me up with him. They knew how he felt about me, and I about him. I guess because it had a defined endpoint at the time, they didn't say boo about it.

                      The second time around, I suppose they're supportive again; I haven't really talked to them about it. They know we've survived it before, why can't we do it again?

                      If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion...love actually is all around

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                        #12
                        Good idea for a thread

                        I've got 2 friends who are in LDRs, they've both been supportive even before they were in theirs. As for most of my other friends, they don't really get it. I get the impression that most think it's some sort of a laugh that we're having with each other, just a bit of fun (as Keith Barrett would say...)

                        I've had a couple of people look me up and down and raise an eyebrow when I tell them how we met etc, that's a bit annoying, but whatever.
                        In a relationship with


                        Read mine & Tanja's story here!

                        My Albums:
                        Summer 2009 / Xmas 2009
                        Summer 2010: Part 1 & Part 2
                        My dog Sam ♥

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                          #13
                          no! my friends were such jerks about it, they made me run away and want to cry. i cant even talk about him in front of them because they tend to ignore it. but my mom was in one with my dad for 2 years and my other sister was in one when we started dating, so my family was supportive. he was lucky though, all his friends were super supportive and after a month they were like, you guys are totally going to make it.

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                            #14
                            It's iffy.
                            My roommate doesn't really like my SO and thinks I'm stupid for still being involved even after she moved cause according to my roommate it was my so's "decison to move, she wasn't forced to" (to go to college!)

                            however some other friends think it's sweet that we stayed together
                            Met: 1.20.09 (At School)
                            Starting Dating: 5.22.09
                            Been an LDR since: 8.17.10 (3 hours distance)
                            Last Time I saw my SO: 10.02.10
                            Next time I will see my SO: 10.14.10

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                              #15
                              It varied for me. My best friend at the time never really liked Obi. (There was a stage where I gave them each others contact details because I'd lost my net from attempting to break up with my ex.) But, despite not really liking him, she was supportive and helped me out financially to go see him, defended us against other people and all that. But, when it became clear I'd move to Canada for a year or maybe forever, she got weird and started treating me very badly. A bad situation had arisen from her hiring me to be the maid/nanny and moving me into her house without her SO's knowledge, and he was understandably upset, but never mentioned to me that he hadn't known until right at the end when it was too late to do anything.. anyway, she let me take the fall for that basically telling me that as I was going away anyway it didn't matter if our friendship died because of her actions.
                              My other friends, well, some didn't believe me he existed, lots of people didn't understand the loving someone you've never met thing, a lot of them treated me like I was still single, plenty of people encouraged me to cheat... but no one ever said it wouldn't work out, or anything like that.

                              My sister who will always be my closest friend was super supportive and still is, and as long as my family approve, I don't care what anyone else thinks now.

                              I know not all of Obi's friends were supportive either, didn't really take it seriously, and one flat out told him he was dreaming. I would never come here, I would just break his heart. Proved her wrong
                              Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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