Should I be worried?

[Ms.Ender]

Well, I'm not justifying why he ignored me, more of why he couldn't get back with a response. I didn't really want to worry myself thinking of all the negative reasons why, so I decided to try to stay positive. And I do this because I get really paranoid and when I get paranoid it's just terrible, so I try to avoid it.

[Ms.Ender]

Sure meeting him online wasn't really something that I planned, kinda just happened. But I feel happy with him, like really happy. And yes I may just sounds like a love struck teen but I generally feel a connection. I'm taking every step possible to make it work and to make it work safely. I'm taking advice from my older sister who has been in my same boat on how to make sure I don't do something stupid. Also also, something I forgot to mention but I'm pretty sure he only has Skype on his phone, since that's the only thing he has used to Skype me on.

[sasad]

Then tell your parents and don't sneak around.

[R&R]

Then tell your parents and don't sneak around.

Agreed. My daughters are now 20 and 21 and if they had ever snuck around behind my back, I can tell you they would have lost any trust I had and that would have made it 1000 times worse for them. Parents raise their children trying to teach them to do the right things, to be honest, to be careful and respectful. We don't set rules to be mean - we have reasons behind any rules we set. My daughters are everything to me and every rule I set for them was because I could see the big picture for them and I wanted the best for them. They were 100% my responsibility until they reached legal age and I took that very seriously. By having rules, boundries and communication we formed a great bond. I have two adult daughters who talk to me about everything still - from work to school to relationships.....they even told me when they lost their virginity. Having this takes work from both sides. But if you sneak around, lie to your parents (even lies of omission) and disrespect their rules, it will not be good when they find out. And trust me, they will find out.

If you want to be treated as a maturing young woman, then you need to act like one.

[Chris516]

I would be a bit concerned as well. He is 17 and you are 14. How did you all meet? Do you plan to meet ? Are your parents ok with him? How about his parents? Do you have a history together? Have you met in person?
17 is an interesting age for boys. Hormones, getting ready to graduate, driving, prom, etc.

This screams........BACKGROUND CHECK!!!!!



OP, Read this.......https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_o...States#Alabama and this.....https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_o...tes#California.

Additionally OP, you mention in your location that you are from Brentwood(CA), and he is from somewhere in Alabama. Suppose he lives in Birmingham, and lives in one of the poorer sections of the city. Has he told you where he specifically lives in Alabama? Has he offered definitive proof that he is 17, and is not a child predator.

OP, This is not 'love'. This is an infatuation. That if you follow through and run away(YES, I SAID RUN AWAY) to Alabama. Your parents' will call the cops, reporting you as a run away. Your face will get posted on a milk carton, and on the website for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Even if he genuinely is 17. You are not the Age of Consent for sex in California(18), or Alabama(16).

If you really want to stay in a relationship with him, have a background check done on him.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Well, I'm not justifying why he ignored me, more of why he couldn't get back with a response. I didn't really want to worry myself thinking of all the negative reasons why, so I decided to try to stay positive. And I do this because I get really paranoid and when I get paranoid it's just terrible, so I try to avoid it.

So many people make the mistake of ignoring the negatives in their relationships, I am guilty of doing this as well. In the end, I ended up very heartbroken and held on to a relationship that I should have walked away from months earlier. I would think of the negative reasons, especially in this case. Call me paranoid, but to me it doesn't seem normal for someone who is committed to you.

[Elizabeth123]

You are not in a relationship...this is a fantasy. Focus on school and yourself. Be honest with your parents and show them that you are learning to be an adult. You have a lot of living and growing to do.

[sasad]

So many people make the mistake of ignoring the negatives in their relationships, I am guilty of doing this as well. In the end, I ended up very heartbroken and held on to a relationship that I should have walked away from months earlier. I would think of the negative reasons, especially in this case. Call me paranoid, but to me it doesn't seem normal for someone who is committed to you.

FYI.. you are responding to a14 year old child..

[Ms.Ender]

My 18th Birthday is in a few hours , and I came back to this thread to say I wish I had listened. I was young and being groomed by a guy who took advantage of my need for validation and naivety. Before I had met him I went through bad things, and felt the only way for a guy to love me was think I was sexy and to see me as mature. He blocked me a week after I posted it, and I found out I was a rebound and he had cheated on me. I see now how wrong it was that I was dating a guy that age, and further more a 17 year old boy that dated a 13 year old before me. He used me and manipulated me, and to this day I still suffer from the trauma of that relationship. I want to thank everyone who tried talking sense into me, I'm sorry for not listening, my household isn't the healthiest so to tell my parents isn't an option for me. I was scared, but so desperate for affection I took what I could get and what I got was a border line pedophile. But I'm proud to say I've grown since then, I have a wonderful girlfriend who is 18 and treats me better than anybody else. So thank you all for trying to help me, I've learned from mistakes.

[DaveHV]

Happy Birthday! As an adult keep on learning from your mistakes and you won't regret it. All the best.

[vivid_idea]

That's really sweet that you came back to this thread. I am sorry to hear you went through a rough time back when you started the thread, but it sounds like you are happier now.

If it makes you feel any better, plenty of us have done silly things when we were teenagers, and some of those things really hurt. I had my first bf when I was 14, too, and he broke my heart. Remember, these years you are going through now are a learning experience. Take the best from it and use it to steer your life in the direction you want.

All the best to you!