Guys, I need your help and advice please. I am in a very sticky situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and it's been long distance for a year. He moved abroad for work, but will be back in 1.5 years. We've been making it work since we communicate often and he visits five times a year. During his last visit in August, we fought and broke up over time spent with one another during those visits.
I later learned from him that he had a rebound relationship--and is actually still in this relationship--with someone he met there. He had been going through a hard time with work, battling a health issue, and the break up. Plus, he hasn't made any real friends there yet. So, he found comfort in her. He apologized for this and said he was "weak."
He is in town for two weeks now visiting family, and he wanted to meet with me. Actually, he reached back out in October, a month and half after we broke up, and we started talking daily again. I didn't know there was someone else until he told me yesterday. I was just under the impression we were taking things slowly and rebuilding. He broke the news to me on the verge of us getting intimate last night. He pulled away saying he couldn't have two women at the same time and needed to break things off with her first.
I didn't know how to feel. I was numb.
He seemed torn. On one hand, he wanted to break up with her and come back to me. On the other hand, he felt a bit sorry for what he put me through and wanted me to move on so as not to hurt me anymore. It seems easier to continue with a new and convenient relationship rather than to return to an old one with issues and long distance too.
What was he even thinking? Why keep in contact with me all these weeks? Why tell me about his trip home and want to see me? He could have just avoided me altogether to get over me. As I wait for his response, I potentially have to live with the fact that he chose someone else over me.
I don't want to be selfish, but I love him and want him back. What would you do? Would you just give in and let the other person have your love? Would you do it because you want him/her to have companionship?
I'm sad that he slept with her many times, but I do understand we were broken up. I am sad he rejected me yesterday, but find it somehow noble he wanted to get things straight with each of us. I still love him, and of course, I'd love to see our relationship move forward. But how do you rebuild after this and given the distance? What if he has some morsel of feeling for her since she was an emotional outlet during his tough times? I did ask if he loved her, and he said no, but I was reading the opposite from his hesitancy.
I feel badly that he's in this position, but I feel depressed myself that he actually has to choose between me and someone else and the likelihood of him choosing this person, whom he's only known for a few weeks, is real. Didn't think it would come to this.
I'm just waiting now. I am giving him his time and space, respecting that fact that he has to make a difficult decision. I don't know what he will decide. Will he stay with her or comeback to me? If he leaves me, we can't be just friends, and he knows that. It's like an all or nothing thing.
I later learned from him that he had a rebound relationship--and is actually still in this relationship--with someone he met there. He had been going through a hard time with work, battling a health issue, and the break up. Plus, he hasn't made any real friends there yet. So, he found comfort in her. He apologized for this and said he was "weak."
He is in town for two weeks now visiting family, and he wanted to meet with me. Actually, he reached back out in October, a month and half after we broke up, and we started talking daily again. I didn't know there was someone else until he told me yesterday. I was just under the impression we were taking things slowly and rebuilding. He broke the news to me on the verge of us getting intimate last night. He pulled away saying he couldn't have two women at the same time and needed to break things off with her first.
I didn't know how to feel. I was numb.
He seemed torn. On one hand, he wanted to break up with her and come back to me. On the other hand, he felt a bit sorry for what he put me through and wanted me to move on so as not to hurt me anymore. It seems easier to continue with a new and convenient relationship rather than to return to an old one with issues and long distance too.
What was he even thinking? Why keep in contact with me all these weeks? Why tell me about his trip home and want to see me? He could have just avoided me altogether to get over me. As I wait for his response, I potentially have to live with the fact that he chose someone else over me.
I don't want to be selfish, but I love him and want him back. What would you do? Would you just give in and let the other person have your love? Would you do it because you want him/her to have companionship?
I'm sad that he slept with her many times, but I do understand we were broken up. I am sad he rejected me yesterday, but find it somehow noble he wanted to get things straight with each of us. I still love him, and of course, I'd love to see our relationship move forward. But how do you rebuild after this and given the distance? What if he has some morsel of feeling for her since she was an emotional outlet during his tough times? I did ask if he loved her, and he said no, but I was reading the opposite from his hesitancy.
I feel badly that he's in this position, but I feel depressed myself that he actually has to choose between me and someone else and the likelihood of him choosing this person, whom he's only known for a few weeks, is real. Didn't think it would come to this.
I'm just waiting now. I am giving him his time and space, respecting that fact that he has to make a difficult decision. I don't know what he will decide. Will he stay with her or comeback to me? If he leaves me, we can't be just friends, and he knows that. It's like an all or nothing thing.
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