facebook problems again

[Chris516]

I'm going to go the other way with this...
I don't do much posting on FB about anything personal in my life, but I do have my SO's family as friends.. I would be a little upset that he shut me down on everything for family and stuff too. I get where you are coming from.
Talking to the opposite sex... That is gonna happen every day of both of your lives. There is no way you can really avoid that at all, so that is an unreasonable worry. I have more male friends then female, part of that is because of my chosen field. Its male dominated. So, that is a trust thing.

I can understand how you are going down that road. I see where its all the little things becoming a bigger issue. Have you met any of his family at all? Do you skype ?

I don't get the threats though. That is not a mature way for either of you to handle a relationship. It almost sounds like 12 year olds having a disagreement. You all should be able to talk this through without deleting and doing tit for tat actions.

I really don't have any other advise except trust your gut on reasonable stuff. If it is making you uncomfortable, then get out of that relationship.

OP, Just to clarify what I previously said. While I did 'gush' about an ex, in an online support group(SO's of partners who have Bipolar Disorder). That is where my (ex)fiance n' I met. I never posted anything on my personal FB page about either of them.(not saying you said I did)

Threats are a part of the 'Power and Control' wheel. They don't serve anyone. But life is not always simple. So, Both parties will violate the wheel. Not just one party. Yes, Boundaries are important. But don't utilize threats to state those boundaries.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Thank you all for your messages. Everyone seems to have a different point of view about facebook.

I thought about unfriending him just to avoid me to stress about it, but I don't think that's the best idea. That's the place where we share pictures together and with the rest of the world. Somehow, it keeps us connected.
Yesterday, I called my boyfriend and he mentioned he was going to sleep to his ex's house before coming here (she lives 45 min away from the airport while he lives almost 3h away.) I told him that it was better for me if he kept some things for himself, that I would prefer not to know everything as it is a source of worries for me. He understood and told me there was nothing to worry about as she had a boyfriend. I asked him not to tell me everything until now and I think that it will be fine.

We did not talk of facebook again and I did not ask him why he did not like my comment on his picture. I never do it a lot. The fact that he doesn't respond is something that is bothering me a little bit, but I think that I can understand he does not need to do it.

For the facebook status, I think I wanted us to be ''official'' on it as a way to feel more secured about us, but that is not a ''status'' that will prevent him to cheat. I just have to trust me more or to trust him more.

I wrote this thread right after a big fight and was panicked. Now that I breathed a little, I feel a bit more calm about all this. I would like to answer everyone of your messages, but I think I would repeat myself.
He is coming in 9 days and I hope that this trip can help us to build a bit of trust in our relationships. I'm impatient to see him.

Thanks again.. all your messages were appreciated.

Being exclusive on FB doesn't guarantee the person will not cheat or that they will love/care for you. My ex and I were official on FB and he posted a lot of pictures of us, did he care for me? Maybe at one point, but I could feel later that he couldn't care less about me. He would abandon me once a week to go to the bar by himself.

[Littlewhiteflower]

I know..I had a wrong way of seeing things. I'm not saying it all changed but I try to see all this differently.

I think when you're in a relationships, both partners have to make it works. I sure am far from being perfect. He isn't either. So, we are working on that together now..

I spend less time on Facebook. I try to let him breath too and not over react. I hope this can help us.

[snow]

Being exclusive on FB doesn't guarantee the person will not cheat or that they will love/care for you. My ex and I were official on FB and he posted a lot of pictures of us, did he care for me? Maybe at one point, but I could feel later that he couldn't care less about me. He would abandon me once a week to go to the bar by himself.

That doesn't sound that bad. Everybody needs some time for themselves, once a week to go out to the bar really shouldn't be a problem - but I assume he met girls there?

@OP: I'm glad you realize how little facebook actually means. You guys will do just fine with a little trust on both sides!

[Honour]

My ex Chris and I used to be "Facebook-official" and it caused more problems than it was worth. Now, with my current SO, we don't have each other on Facebook for similar reasons, and he's not that active on his Facebook anyway. Toxicity and relationship breakers is all that Facebook seems to cause, and I know a lot of people who've had problems because of social media.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

That doesn't sound that bad. Everybody needs some time for themselves, once a week to go out to the bar really shouldn't be a problem - but I assume he met girls there?

@OP: I'm glad you realize how little facebook actually means. You guys will do just fine with a little trust on both sides!

Idk what he did there exactly, but he was so secretive about his plans, then would text me from the bar. One time he lied about having to stay late at work, he wouldn't have time to come over, but spent 2 hours in the bar. Lets just say I didn't trust my ex.

[Chris516]

Toxicity and relationship breakers is all that Facebook seems to cause, and I know a lot of people who've had problems because of social media.

How Mark Zuckerberg became a billionaire with the dangers he unintentionally created with Facebook. I will never understand. How people can get so addicted to social media is beyond me.

[differentcountries]

How people can get so addicted to social media is beyond me.

Facebook is the new grapevine. Even my old relatives are like "oh, I saw you on Facebook" with sly grins like they heard it somewhere, even if I put up the info there myself lol

[xxcazaxx]

I don't have a relationship status on fb. I couldn't be without fb though as that is what I use to message my OH for free and we call each other through it too. Have to say though that neither of us are big posters on facebook

[sasad]

How Mark Zuckerberg became a billionaire with the dangers he unintentionally created with Facebook. I will never understand. How people can get so addicted to social media is beyond me.

Just like people get addicted to gaming gambling etc. is just a different form of addiction.

[Chris516]

I only have a FB page for emotionally supporting an online friend with the same physical health concerns I have. Apart from their father(their mother died, when they were only 2yrs.-old), I am the only one that has been an emotional support for them. The only other reason is support groups concerning those physical health issues.

Otherwise, I would just get off FB.

[snow]

It satisfies a need for affirmation and attention, so it's not really a huge secret why Facebook is so addicting to many people. When we first started dating, I was kinda sad my husband didn't add me on Facebook as his girlfriend only to find out the only reason he had Facebook is to get information about shift changes from his boss.
After that, I realized Facebook really makes no difference and now I use it mainly to stay in touch with my family - but man does it feel good to see a like on a business page lol