Need advice - is my relationship worth continuing?
I am currently in a long distance relationship with a guy that I’ve been talking to since August of this year. In the beginning, it was very apparent that he was into me. He initiated all text conversations, he called me a few times a week, he wanted to see me and made plans to do so, etc. He would tell me how much he liked me and cared for me, talk about me to his family, friends, you name it. We had also both decided we wanted to be exclusively dating.
Fast forward a few months and his best friend moved to the city where he lives in November, right about the same time when his roommate became single. All of the sudden, the texts decreased, he didn’t call on the phone as much, didn’t say the sweet “I miss you’s” or “I like you” texts as much anymore. In addition, he started going out a lot more to bars and told me it was because his friend had moved to town and always wanted to do things.
While we were on a cadence of seeing each other every other weekend, and about a week ago we decided to start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Since then, it feels like he has withdrawn even more. I will be out of the country for the last two weeks in December and will not see him until December 30 when we go on a trip together. I had two weekends left to hangout and he told me he would be unable to come to visit either weekend due to plans that were already made.
On top of that, on Sunday he told me he is struggling with long distance and is worried that he won’t be able to put in the effort it takes to travel to see each other and is afraid that if he were to ever come visit me, he might miss out on something fun with his friends that weekend. He also mentioned that his friend group ostracizes the guys who are in relationships or engaged and don’t invite them to do things, which is unfortunately true. He was also concerned about whether or not he is ready for a relationship or wants one, when previously, before his friend moved to his city, was not an issue. I asked him if he wanted to end it and he said no and reemphasized that he liked me, and so we decided to lay out the ground rules for what we expected in terms of communication and seeing each other, which I liked since we are now on the same page.
However, now I’m conflicted that I’m completely wasting my time with someone who actually doesn’t care about me, despite saying he does. I know actions speak louder than words, but I think his best friend moving to town and roommate becoming single have affected our relationship. Previously, he wanted a relationship and then in the last few weeks, I feel like he is confused about whether he wants a relationship or not.
Do you think he is just looking for space? If so, how should I go about doing that? Or is it time for me to move on?
Fast forward a few months and his best friend moved to the city where he lives in November, right about the same time when his roommate became single. All of the sudden, the texts decreased, he didn’t call on the phone as much, didn’t say the sweet “I miss you’s” or “I like you” texts as much anymore. In addition, he started going out a lot more to bars and told me it was because his friend had moved to town and always wanted to do things.
While we were on a cadence of seeing each other every other weekend, and about a week ago we decided to start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Since then, it feels like he has withdrawn even more. I will be out of the country for the last two weeks in December and will not see him until December 30 when we go on a trip together. I had two weekends left to hangout and he told me he would be unable to come to visit either weekend due to plans that were already made.
On top of that, on Sunday he told me he is struggling with long distance and is worried that he won’t be able to put in the effort it takes to travel to see each other and is afraid that if he were to ever come visit me, he might miss out on something fun with his friends that weekend. He also mentioned that his friend group ostracizes the guys who are in relationships or engaged and don’t invite them to do things, which is unfortunately true. He was also concerned about whether or not he is ready for a relationship or wants one, when previously, before his friend moved to his city, was not an issue. I asked him if he wanted to end it and he said no and reemphasized that he liked me, and so we decided to lay out the ground rules for what we expected in terms of communication and seeing each other, which I liked since we are now on the same page.
However, now I’m conflicted that I’m completely wasting my time with someone who actually doesn’t care about me, despite saying he does. I know actions speak louder than words, but I think his best friend moving to town and roommate becoming single have affected our relationship. Previously, he wanted a relationship and then in the last few weeks, I feel like he is confused about whether he wants a relationship or not.
Do you think he is just looking for space? If so, how should I go about doing that? Or is it time for me to move on?
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