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Second Chances.

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    Second Chances.

    Hey all. For those of you who continued to comment on my "It's Over" thread, thank you for your support. Your kindness is so very appreciated.

    Our break up lasted all of 4 days, 4 very miserable days. I was at work when my mom called me, near tears from happiness. I asked what was wrong and if everything was okay. She said, "Yes, I'm actually very happy. Jeffrey called me." Shocked, I was instantly shaking. He had ignored me over the course of those 4 days, why would he be calling my mother? He had been sick since the day he broke up with me, couldn't focus in class, was shaky, and totally miserable (as he should have been). He called my mom and this is a paraphrased version of their conversation. Mom said she could tell he had been crying, and told her that he had made a terrible mistake. He said, "I fucked up, like majorly fucked up. I love your daughter, and I can't live without her. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry I hurt her, and you and your family. I love your daughter and I want to marry her, I will put a ring on your daughters finger and say I do to her." Of course, by this time, my mom was crying. He asked her what time I got off work so he could call me when I got home. I was in tears when my mom was telling me all of this.

    He facetimed me so we could see one another. I wasn't very pleasant to him, because frankly I was still very hurt and angry. He said, "I miss you," and I replied, "do you?" We talked for a little bit, and I said, "what do you want, Jeffrey?" and he said with tears in his eyes, "I want my best friend back. Will you take me back?" Of course, I let him sweat it out for a little bit and didn't give him a direct answer right off the bat. We talked and talked, discussed what was going on. He said, "Cherie, I don't know what got into me. I got scared, and my brain convinced me that the best thing to do was run. I'm sorry I made this decision solely on my own without talking to you." I asked him if he truly meant what he said about falling out of love with me, and he said, "absolutely not. I had to say anything I could to make your potential moving on easier, even though I didn't mean or believe a word I was even saying."

    A little back story. Jeffrey was married before. He got married at 20 after knowing the girl for 3 months, and they divorced when he was 22. He said, "I realize it now that I guess I'm just scarred, and yes when I went to look at rings, I got scared. Even though I don't know why I got scared because I have absolutely nothing to worry about with you, Cherie. You're 100% faithful, you love me unconditionally, you do so much for me.." Before I agreed to give him a second chance, we talked about the things that needed to change, and he agreed. We are working towards becoming stronger from this, and growing our love. He has certainly been stepping up and putting in more effort. Of course I'm receiving some backlash from certain family members, but Jeffrey is my best friend. I have spent nearly 2 years of my life with him, and he's the love of my life. I think him having the courage to call and talk to my mom for an hour about me and admitting his mistake shows that his love for me is true and pure as well. He just got cold feet, and I can't blame him for his past.
    [CENTER][FONT=Georgia]
    Cherie & Jeffrey
    Dating Anniversary: 3/10/2015
    Engaged: 7/7/2017
    Closed the Distance: August 31st, 2017 ♥
    MARRIED: Eloped 11/21/17; Official Ceremony: May 18th, 2018 ♥
    Had our baby girl: May 30th, 2020 ♥
    Settled into our forever home state: November 2020

    #2
    Part of my thought process, when I read this was...... and

    First Visit: September 2016
    Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
    Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

    John 3:16
    For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
    John 4:12
    I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

    Comment


      #3
      This was our second time around too. Granted, we had an 18 month break from when we ended it to when we decided to give it another chance. There was much more communication and he had to open up about a lot of things from his past that he had previously "shielded" me from. He knew he only was going to get one more shot at it. A second chance, yes. A third chance, no way.

      It can work if both parties want it to, if changes have truly been made. 4 days is a short time, but certainly it's possibly enough time, for him to realize what he wants and to make the effort to work towards gaining your trust back. I only caution you to take your time in rebuilding this relationship. It doesn't happen overnight. I wish you both the best it making it work.
      To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

      ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

      Comment


        #4
        Wish you both the best of luck! I hope you both can work it out

        Comment


          #5
          At the end of the day it's your decision so just go with your gut instinct. Best of luck

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by R&R View Post
            This was our second time around too. Granted, we had an 18 month break from when we ended it to when we decided to give it another chance. There was much more communication and he had to open up about a lot of things from his past that he had previously "shielded" me from. He knew he only was going to get one more shot at it. A second chance, yes. A third chance, no way.

            It can work if both parties want it to, if changes have truly been made. 4 days is a short time, but certainly it's possibly enough time, for him to realize what he wants and to make the effort to work towards gaining your trust back. I only caution you to take your time in rebuilding this relationship. It doesn't happen overnight. I wish you both the best it making it work.
            Oh, we are definitely taking things slow. I assured him that things aren't just going to go back to the way they were, because he obviously hurt me and lost trust. He's aware that he has to earn that back, but he fully intends to prove himself to me. He's really stepped it up over the last few days and I can see that he's trying. Thank you so much for your support!
            [CENTER][FONT=Georgia]
            Cherie & Jeffrey
            Dating Anniversary: 3/10/2015
            Engaged: 7/7/2017
            Closed the Distance: August 31st, 2017 ♥
            MARRIED: Eloped 11/21/17; Official Ceremony: May 18th, 2018 ♥
            Had our baby girl: May 30th, 2020 ♥
            Settled into our forever home state: November 2020

            Comment

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