I’ve been in a virtual, long distance relationship since September. We used to send each other lengthy letters (via Facebook messenger) every two days, but things seem to have changed and I’m confused.
It all started about a month ago when he replied to me after 5 long days apologizing and explaining that he was on a business trip - sick and drowned in work. I replied like nothing happened (2-3 days). The next week he sent me the usual letter + smaller messages (each had a similar form “I read/saw this and thought of you.” I thought they were sweet and replied to both. Then, on the 3rd week he went silent for 5 days again. I assumed he might be busy again and didn’t contact him, but I was unhappy and felt neglected. His letter came after 5 days. There was no explanation or apology. However, he was acting like nothing happened - asking a lot of questions (eight!), sounding rather close, not distant. I replied after 3 days and attached something I thought he’d like based on his previous message. He sent me a small message thanking for that attachment and saying that he “loved it”. After two more days he sent a bigger letter replying to my previous one. His tone was caring, he put some effort in the letter’s composition and he seemed genuinely interested. I thought we were back to “normal” and I happily replied after 2 days. However, now 5 days passed (including the weekend) and nothing. No reply - no short messages (like “I’m busy, I’ll get back to you”), no long letters.
I’m confused by his behavior. I feel like the distance is growing when he’s late when it comes to replying and doesn’t even bother to apologize. However, his letters still show interest, lots of it (like nothing changed).
I like him and his letters, but I feel neglected each time he goes silent. I can understand being busy, but sending a one line of text saying “I’m busy. I will reply later” doesn’t take much time.
It feels like I’m no longer his priority and like I’m far behind both work and family (he has two teenaged children who he sees on weekends) in terms of importance.
I promised myself that I won’t get distracted by his caring tone or numerous questions the next time. I decided not to reply to his next letter (if it ever arrives) like nothing happened.
However, I’m not sure what I should do. Go silent for a week and see what he does? Wait 5 days and send him a short message saying that I don’t enjoy our strained conversation anymore and prefer not to drag it any further?
Am I being taken for granted? Is he losing interest?
It all started about a month ago when he replied to me after 5 long days apologizing and explaining that he was on a business trip - sick and drowned in work. I replied like nothing happened (2-3 days). The next week he sent me the usual letter + smaller messages (each had a similar form “I read/saw this and thought of you.” I thought they were sweet and replied to both. Then, on the 3rd week he went silent for 5 days again. I assumed he might be busy again and didn’t contact him, but I was unhappy and felt neglected. His letter came after 5 days. There was no explanation or apology. However, he was acting like nothing happened - asking a lot of questions (eight!), sounding rather close, not distant. I replied after 3 days and attached something I thought he’d like based on his previous message. He sent me a small message thanking for that attachment and saying that he “loved it”. After two more days he sent a bigger letter replying to my previous one. His tone was caring, he put some effort in the letter’s composition and he seemed genuinely interested. I thought we were back to “normal” and I happily replied after 2 days. However, now 5 days passed (including the weekend) and nothing. No reply - no short messages (like “I’m busy, I’ll get back to you”), no long letters.
I’m confused by his behavior. I feel like the distance is growing when he’s late when it comes to replying and doesn’t even bother to apologize. However, his letters still show interest, lots of it (like nothing changed).
I like him and his letters, but I feel neglected each time he goes silent. I can understand being busy, but sending a one line of text saying “I’m busy. I will reply later” doesn’t take much time.
It feels like I’m no longer his priority and like I’m far behind both work and family (he has two teenaged children who he sees on weekends) in terms of importance.
I promised myself that I won’t get distracted by his caring tone or numerous questions the next time. I decided not to reply to his next letter (if it ever arrives) like nothing happened.
However, I’m not sure what I should do. Go silent for a week and see what he does? Wait 5 days and send him a short message saying that I don’t enjoy our strained conversation anymore and prefer not to drag it any further?
Am I being taken for granted? Is he losing interest?
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