LDR evolution over time versus a traditional relationship

[2Rocky]

Would you say That an LDR progresses and matures faster or slower than a traditional dating relationship?

Someone pointed out that "You have only had about XX# of hours together"

But I've noticed a lot more substance to our conversations.

So compare and contrast the dynamics of the Traditional Vs. Long distance models.

[Loveyoumore]

More faster on an emotional & mental level than a traditional relationship due to the way you meet it gives you more time to get to know someone on a level more than just physical 1st.

[TaraMarie]

Funny, i was thinking about this exact thing driving home from work tonight. We also have great conversation. No fluff...no long silences watching tv together. We are always talking about interesting and important things. But maybe I just enjoy THIS husband more than I did the last? ����

[snow]

I definitely think I knew my husband of 2 years a lot more than my ex boyfriend of 4 years, mostly because we spent a lot of time talking about every single thing that we could think of. We had loads of deep conversations and set boundaries before we even met in person.

However, I did need time to adjust to being physically around him, because that's just something we haven't been. It was mostly seeing him do a lot things differently than I imagined and getting used to it.

All in all, I think the biggest reason why LDRs progress quicker is that a lot of the international ones need marriage to close the distance so you kinda have to face that phase of the relationship much sooner than you would have to in a CDR. I have been with my husband a little over a year when we first talked about marriage to help us close the distance and we both agreed that if we lived closer, we would have probably moved in together first and then got married at some point, but we really didn't have a choice if we wanted to close the distance.

My best friend has been with her boyfriend for 2 years (all of it CD) and just now they started to talk about maybe getting married when both get a full time job this year, maybe.

[sasad]

I dont think ldr is necessarily faster mental and or emotional.. it really depends on the people and circumstance. I think we learned how to communicate bette? Or like TaraMarie said.. i just like him better and wanted to know more!
We started cd as friends. He was scared and kinda wanted to run from love. Being led made him realize what he missed.

Physically i think cd is slower. It's not like you have the touch and smells to build up for physical relations. Cd, you can progress so much faster. And tbh, i cant understand how people who have never physically met can plan a marriage. You cant project how you will fit in real time together. You cant have the arguments and the i am sorry hugs.., they may have horrible manners r even lied about appearances. You just dont know.

Ldrs make you communicate to suceed. You dont have the hands on in the mix, the physical or everyday option to hug etc.

It's what you make it for any type of relationship.

.

[Chris516]

I am inclined to say 50/50.

The reason is, in a 'traditional' relationship. The physicality is there. But the emotional/psychological respect is not.

In an LDR, it starts off with the building of the emotional/psychological, so the respect comes with it, usually. It isn't blinded by 'physical' distractions. That is, except in the case of Jonathan Schmidtz who murdered Scott Amedure. They met online. Jonathan Schmitz didn't know that Scott Amedure was not heterosexual. Scott Amedure didn't know that Jonathan Smitz had a long history of mental health problems.

They finally met in person, on the Jenny Jones Show. Things spiraled downward almost immediately. Culminating in Amedure's death.

[Honour]

I think you learn to trust your SO, get to know them on a deeper level, and discover whether they're truly committed and dependable far sooner than if you're in a "traditional" relationship. My SO and I'd only known each other for about 2 weeks before we got together, and on our journey together, we've learned our strengths and weaknesses, discovered ourselves and grown together as a couple. I found in RL I could never quite trust people enough to even consider dating. Because of the online aspect, I've grown to trust him, so much so that I trust him as much as my parents. No one has ever earned my trust quite like he has.

[Karura]

I agree with what a lot of people are talking about. This is not my first time being in a LDR and I can definitely tell that your relationship can progress faster on an emotional and psychological matter. You talk about things that maybe you wouldn't think so much about if you got to see this person a lot in person, making it easier for you to get to know each other better and further discuss things as a couple. I've known my SO for two months and things developed really fast for us because we both felt like there was chemistry between us even if we didn't meet in person.

[C.C.]

I definitely agree with what most of the people said.

You progress way faster on emotional and psychological levels in an ldr than you do irl, imo. And there's whole physical adjustment thing, I know I will need to do it as well if me and M decide to pursue the relationship. Getting used to his way of doing things and just discovering how he feels irl.
I basically feel like in cd relationships the fist thing that happens is physical adjustment and getting used to and then the relationship gets deeper emotionally. Also there's that whole "freedom" in terms of how much time you have in a cdr, and how you can take things slowly.
While in ldr, even if you don't want to, you have to talk constantly, about important matters, because you can't spend as much time just cuddling and bringing up something important way more rarely.
And on top of that, there's whole circumstances thing, if a couple can't move in together with other means (through jobs, studying, etc) they often have to make the decision to get married.

[erwin1973]

I also agree that a LDR develops quicker then a CDR. For some reason, I can't even date someone IRL, for some reason it is for my too difficult to talk to someone and get to know them. In and LDR, I learned to trust and get more close, much quicker then I didn in my only CDR. My Evelyn and me are talking about everything. Sometimes we just talk sweet nothings for an hour and be happy. Sometimes we have a hard time talking about something that affects us both. And sometimes we have deep talks about our future, or about the meaning of life. All things the IMHO would not happen so fast or so emotional in a CDR.
I hope everyone is still happy with their SO.

[sasad]

Again, a LDR does not develop quicker. It develops differently.

[autumn1790]

I think you have to take into consideration the kind of people who pursue an ldr vs. a traditional relationship. While obviously everyone who does ldr does it for different reasons, one might argue that those who pursue traditional relationships are somewhat of a different breed. As most opinionists here point out, an ldr isn't for everyone, and likewise I might argue that a cdr isn't for everyone either. I know ldr to me is more natural to begin with because a lot of my siblings started out in ldrs. I notice that a lot of the posters here have had previous ldrs--it just comes more naturally to some people. I don't know if I'm making any sense or getting the point across that I want to.

[sasad]

I think you have to take into consideration the kind of people who pursue an ldr vs. a traditional relationship. While obviously everyone who does ldr does it for different reasons, one might argue that those who pursue traditional relationships are somewhat of a different breed. As most opinionists here point out, an ldr isn't for everyone, and likewise I might argue that a cdr isn't for everyone either. I know ldr to me is more natural to begin with because a lot of my siblings started out in ldrs. I notice that a lot of the posters here have had previous ldrs--it just comes more naturally to some people. I don't know if I'm making any sense or getting the point across that I want to.

Yup.. makes sense. For some its the comfort level of an LDR. I wonder sometimes if people look intentionally for this type of relationship due to a certain comfort or anxiety level vs meeting someone online locally. Now I am having a hard time making a point.

[autumn1790]

Yup.. makes sense. For some its the comfort level of an LDR. I wonder sometimes if people look intentionally for this type of relationship due to a certain comfort or anxiety level vs meeting someone online locally. Now I am having a hard time making a point.

Lol that was silly me. He's so far away, nothing is ever gonna happen, have a few interesting chats and that'll be it. Three years ago. ;p

[C.C.]

I think you have to take into consideration the kind of people who pursue an ldr vs. a traditional relationship. While obviously everyone who does ldr does it for different reasons, one might argue that those who pursue traditional relationships are somewhat of a different breed. As most opinionists here point out, an ldr isn't for everyone, and likewise I might argue that a cdr isn't for everyone either. I know ldr to me is more natural to begin with because a lot of my siblings started out in ldrs. I notice that a lot of the posters here have had previous ldrs--it just comes more naturally to some people. I don't know if I'm making any sense or getting the point across that I want to.

I, for example, have never sought anything online neither irl, I sort of always fell for someone I knew already and then pursued it further with them and I have fallen (and been in a relationship too) both online and irl too. Maybe I am in minority, though.