Just a general question. Have you ever visited a partner for a week or longer and felt overwhelmed or wanted to be alone?
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Ever get tired of partner during visit?
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Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View PostJust a general question. Have you ever visited a partner for a week or longer and felt overwhelmed or wanted to be alone?
First Visit: September 2016
Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)
John 3:16For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal lifeJohn 4:12I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
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Yes. Could be leas than a week. I'm not used to big with someone all the time. When we are together I feel like we should be in some sort of physical contact all the time. Also speaking another language can get tiring. It's not bad tired when we are together it's more like a new situation tired. We meet up 8 times a year and have for 5 years and it still feels like this.
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Whilst I haven't met my SO quite yet in person, we've had a couple of occasions where he's been off work for a week, and we've spent a lot of time Skyping with each other. Usually, by the end of the week, he and I have gotten on each other's nerves at least once :P I'm used to spending a lot of my time alone, so for me, it gets on my nerves after awhile even if it's nice having him around. But I know we'd get on well in RL because we practically live in each other's lives anyway, so... yeah. I think we could easily make it work.
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This hasn't happened to us, probably because we don't see each other that often and so we really appreciate the time we have together. I'm sure once we're together more there will be times when we both need space just because we're both quite independent people who like hiding away from the rest of the world.
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When I visit him, no, because he still works and puts in 10-14 hour work days. When he visits me, we are together the whole time usually and it can get a little wearing being around each other 24-7.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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We spend up to 30 days at a time, and i dont think we get overwhelmed. On our first visit together, forr a week where i stayed with him, we set some ground rules about space. We both were used to out own time and space and i would go for walks/runs alone. Sometimes he goes shopping alone. Now that we are together per se, it's like we want to be together more. Probably because i drive 3 hours a day combined to/from work.
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Personally, I have not gotten tired because of my partner but have gotten tired because of what I was doing with my partner, if that makes sense. Last visit was almost a month long and we were VERY busy visiting many locations in his country... there were several times when I HAD to have downtime or else I would crash. Downtime by myself, downtime with him, it didn't matter as long as I could sit in a room with peace and quiet.
If I'm feeling overwhelmed in general, I take some down time and nap.
If you're not already familiar with it, look up Introverts and Extroverts. Introverts need alone time to feel replenished and gather themselves, where as Extroverts gain their energy by socializing. There is far more to it than that, but that is a simple explanation. Now, its not all black and white... most people have qualities of both and it can/will change throughout your life.
I'm an introvert so really need some quiet time. My boyfriend is a major extrovert, but he understands the personality differences and respects it.
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I think it happened to my husband when I visited him, but all we had to do was lay down some ground rules. Something like "When I come home from work, I need to unwind for a little bit." or "When I want to work on XYZ, I prefer to be alone" or "When we wake up, please for the love of God wait until I talk to you, I am not a morning person and you will be greeted with the wrath of my grumpiness if you get this chipper with me in the morning".
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Happened to me and my bf. He came over for 3 months to look for job while living with me. I have tiniest apartment, had some school and work, and he wasn't getting any luck with job search. After a month we had tense situation- tiny space, always together, little privacy, and frustration that he can't find a job.
So in a way I never got tired of him, but of the situation we were in, but it didn't matter as I would just project it on him. Now we know what we did wrong, and I believe it made us stronger and showed that we need more privacy that we thought.
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Originally posted by Freebird View PostPersonally, I have not gotten tired because of my partner but have gotten tired because of what I was doing with my partner, if that makes sense. Last visit was almost a month long and we were VERY busy visiting many locations in his country... there were several times when I HAD to have downtime or else I would crash. Downtime by myself, downtime with him, it didn't matter as long as I could sit in a room with peace and quiet.
If I'm feeling overwhelmed in general, I take some down time and nap.
If you're not already familiar with it, look up Introverts and Extroverts. Introverts need alone time to feel replenished and gather themselves, where as Extroverts gain their energy by socializing. There is far more to it than that, but that is a simple explanation. Now, its not all black and white... most people have qualities of both and it can/will change throughout your life.
I'm an introvert so really need some quiet time. My boyfriend is a major extrovert, but he understands the personality differences and respects it.
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Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View PostAt 1st it hurt a lot to hear that he was overwhelmed, but im picking up that he is an introvert, plus he was sick for almost half the trip, so stuck inside.my girls <3
Josie (SO)
Met online ~ 17th August 2017 ~
Met in person ~ 30th August 2017 ~
Became official ~ 15th September 2017 ~
Closed the distance and moved in together! ~ 18th June 2018 ~
Ash
Met online ~ 21st November 2018 ~
Met in person ~ 26th November 2018 ~
Became official ~ 4th December 2018 ~
All moved in together! ~ 30th May 2019 ~
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Originally posted by kittyxuchiha11 View PostYou definitely shouldn't feel hurt that he was overwhelmed, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed when you're used to sending a lot of time alone and suddenly you're stuck with this one person for a long amount of time and can't have that time alone you're used to. I definitely struggled with it when i visited my SO, i remember there was this one day we spent just in the house and i was so overwhelmed with being stuck in this tiny bedroom room with her that i just cried and she felt horrible because she thought she'd done something. explained it to her and she was very understanding and wet to the living room to spend some time with her housemates so i could be alone and calm down a bit. That may have just been my anxiety and stuff acting up but i believe it's very very important in any sort of relationship or friendship even to have time apart and to be able to do things like sit on laptops and chill for a bit.
Don't mind me I should be sleeping.
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Originally posted by kittyxuchiha11 View PostYou definitely shouldn't feel hurt that he was overwhelmed, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed when you're used to sending a lot of time alone and suddenly you're stuck with this one person for a long amount of time and can't have that time alone you're used to. I definitely struggled with it when i visited my SO, i remember there was this one day we spent just in the house and i was so overwhelmed with being stuck in this tiny bedroom room with her that i just cried and she felt horrible because she thought she'd done something. explained it to her and she was very understanding and wet to the living room to spend some time with her housemates so i could be alone and calm down a bit. That may have just been my anxiety and stuff acting up but i believe it's very very important in any sort of relationship or friendship even to have time apart and to be able to do things like sit on laptops and chill for a bit.
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Originally posted by C.C. View PostWorst kind of typo
Don't mind me I should be sleeping.my girls <3
Josie (SO)
Met online ~ 17th August 2017 ~
Met in person ~ 30th August 2017 ~
Became official ~ 15th September 2017 ~
Closed the distance and moved in together! ~ 18th June 2018 ~
Ash
Met online ~ 21st November 2018 ~
Met in person ~ 26th November 2018 ~
Became official ~ 4th December 2018 ~
All moved in together! ~ 30th May 2019 ~
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