new member needing advice :/

[Truth Warrior115]

Hey my name is clayton, i been on this site for a week and a half just looking around and listening to everybody life experience on ldr with their SO, and i recently kinda got into a ldr and i need advice, so yea im from new york city and i just turned 25 and my SO is 26 from China and its crazy how we met lol i was on a dating website because im usually to shy to talk to girls in person atleast approaching anyway so i use a dating site, and while i was searching for girls which is usually Asian women in my area i ended up finding my SO profile i though she was very pretty and i told myself she is from china just move on but i find myself writing hii to her and the next day she replied to me and her english spelling was good so we started chatting back and fourth and things kinda took off from their, we now use a mobile app called Wechat to talk to each other or video chat, to tell the truth i never though i would meet someone like her she is so sweet and beautiful, and me and her are at the point were we want to see each other but here's the deal, she is single with two kids one child 7 years old and the other 6 months old, she dont make enough money to travel, so its up to me to visit her and im currently looking for a job so i can save up to see her and mind you i never been in a ldr before and i never traveled before and i dont think she ever been through this either we both kinda hoping we can create a future together, i been alone for 7 years and finally a opportunity is here but i wonder are we both just wishing for a future that might not happen, now i know if both people want it bad enough it could happen but it felt strange hearing her say that she would wait for me :/ its like oh my god someone actually saying this to me for the first time and i kinda feel pressure and joy at the same time, i really wanna visit her and not let her down but this is a journey i never been on gonna be very interesting, how can this work out for us and when will we be able to close the distance? i know thats for the future but first i gotta start visiting her which is not cheap ofcourse, im willing to save up but for us to have a potential future it will take hard work and a strong belief. Sorry for writing so much, i look forward to everybodys advice

[erwin1973]

A little interpunction would make it much more easy to read. I myself - my English is may be not too bad but it is NOT my first language, and I have trouble reading it. I don't understand your question, to be honest.... I can't find it. Sorry, no offence meant.

[Honour]

First of all, I gotta say it's awesome that you're trying to make this work because China is so strict with what can and can't get past the "Great Firewall of China." I have a friend who lives out in China, she's UK-born, and her husband is from the UK as well. She has to use a UK VPN because otherwise she wouldn't be able to use Skype to contact her friends and family in the UK, among other things that she does. Second, when you close the distance and how you do so is not set on an actual timeline, it's totally dependent on your and your partner's circumstances. No two LDRs are the same. They take time, money, dedication, commitment, trust and plenty of communication. Not everyone will be cut out for handling an LDR because they are not to be taken lightly, and can be emotionally and physically draining. If you want this though, and so does she, then I would say go for it and give it a try. Admittedly having children may make it slightly more difficult, but there are plenty of people on here who're already parents from other relationships/marriages that have make it work, so it's definitely not impossible and/or unheard of. Thirdly, yes, unfortunately, travel is extremely expensive. But LDRs... relationships in general... are all about give and take. It's just one of the cons of being further away from your partner than you'd like. And lastly, dependent on how recent is recent, keep in mind that you're still early-on in the relationship, romantic or otherwise. You're still learning about her, getting to know her, vice versa. You'll find in time that the honeymoon period of the LDR, the first few days/months you're together, will also wear off eventually, as you both get settled and used to each other.

TL;DR Don't get put out. There are pros and cons for being in an LDR. It's not always bad, and can help you (at least in my opinion) get to know your partner on a slightly deeper level than what you might do close distance. I wish you luck, and keep in mind you're the only one (alongside her) that can decide if you want to be in an LDR.

[Truth Warrior115]

Thanks for the insight, yes i knew this would be kinda hard but i been alone so long and finding her felt so good, it will hurt to let go knowing im to be lonely once more to tell the truth i dont like this world i wish we had the freedom we deserved but this aint the website for those topics, so yea im a simple guy all i want is real love, money as allways being the only things holding back mankind :/ wish i could visit soon but im finding work so probably wont see her untill next year, and i just wished she was in my area the universe is allways making things hard, and my soul is tired i hope this is my chance for love once more but i wont be surprised if it comes crashing down, because i know nothing is ever promised in life accept death, and i say to my self meeting her had to be fate in some way maybe to learn another damn lesson or maybe to finally be with someone :/ i dont wanna cut her loose i told her we can build something in the future and i wanna make sure that becomes reality, and i dont know maybe i jumped in waters to deep for me to handle at this part of my life, now im worried i'll have to give up damn!