Havent talked to her in about a week

[Rezie]

Im thinking maybe i blew it guys, sent her a message a few hours ago on whatsapp (thats what we talk on) she hasnt even opened it up but she did post a few snapchats of her hanging with friends. Thanks for all of the help anyways.

Could be that she is hanging out with her friends and wants to respond when she has her own time. I some times dont read my SOs message eventhough I see that he has sent one in case I don't have time to have a text convo. He often thinks I'm rude when I five one word answers but the truth is that I find it rude to text I'm company so I try to answer shortly. Could be that she is playing back. Who knows. You guys need to talk about this.

[Shixorous]

Could be that she is hanging out with her friends and wants to respond when she has her own time. I some times dont read my SOs message eventhough I see that he has sent one in case I don't have time to have a text convo. He often thinks I'm rude when I five one word answers but the truth is that I find it rude to text I'm company so I try to answer shortly. Could be that she is playing back. Who knows. You guys need to talk about this.

I was thinking it might have been something along thise lines too but she still hasnt contacted me. Her time zone is 10 hours ahead of mine so its always late afternoon there when i wake up usually but still ot leaves time for her to reply. I dont know. She did something like this before when i was supposed to go and see her like the week or two weeks before and when i asked her about while i was there she said she didnt know why she did it and that she was scared of the fact the me coming qas so real or something along those lines. I dont know if i should try messaging her again or just to wait and see what happens :/ she still hasnt replied or even looked at my message.

[Rezie]

I was thinking it might have been something along thise lines too but she still hasnt contacted me. Her time zone is 10 hours ahead of mine so its always late afternoon there when i wake up usually but still ot leaves time for her to reply. I dont know. She did something like this before when i was supposed to go and see her like the week or two weeks before and when i asked her about while i was there she said she didnt know why she did it and that she was scared of the fact the me coming qas so real or something along those lines. I dont know if i should try messaging her again or just to wait and see what happens :/ she still hasnt replied or even looked at my message.

Maybe tomorrow send her a message via different media and make sure there is a question that needs an answer. If she doesn't respond tomorrow then send her a message saying you wpuld like to talk and this not communicating is not Ok for you. Then talk about it.

[Shixorous]

Maybe tomorrow send her a message via different media and make sure there is a question that needs an answer. If she doesn't respond tomorrow then send her a message saying you wpuld like to talk and this not communicating is not Ok for you. Then talk about it.

Ok ill try that thank you

[Taki]

I guess i was just doing this stupid test to see if i meant enough to her to call me first especially after so much time had gone by.

But I don't get it....wasn't the last message hers? You said "have a good day" and she responded with a heart emoji right? so then if you look at the thread of messages, her message was last. She was probably waiting for you to get back to her because it's your "turn".

[Shixorous]

But I don't get it....wasn't the last message hers? You said "have a good day" and she responded with a heart emoji right? so then if you look at the thread of messages, her message was last. She was probably waiting for you to get back to her because it's your "turn".

Yeah thats true. She technically sent the last text, so i guess it seems like I didnt text her for a week. I sent one thrsday morning and its now saturday morning and she hasnt even opened the message yet. Dont know whats going on :/

[erwin1973]

Yeah thats true. She technically sent the last text, so i guess it seems like I didnt text her for a week. I sent one thrsday morning and its now saturday morning and she hasnt even opened the message yet. Dont know whats going on :/

She might be angry, upset or disappointed or decided you're not worth it any more. I don't know, I can't read her mind. Why don't you call her? That's been suggested a couple times, I think.

I mean, if you don't know what is going on, how should we know? And if you don't talk with her, CALL her, you'll never know.

[Shixorous]

She might be angry, upset or disappointed or decided you're not worth it any more. I don't know, I can't read her mind. Why don't you call her? That's been suggested a couple times, I think.

I mean, if you don't know what is going on, how should we know? And if you don't talk with her, CALL her, you'll never know.

Well the thing with calling is that ive tried 3 times to get her to call since ive been back the first time plans fell through cuz she was busy. 2nd time i called her kind of by surprise while we were texting so she talked to me but only fir like 7 min. Third time made plans to call again and she didnt respond until hours later after i had asked her if it was ok to call. I think it has something to do with the language barrier. She likes texting because she cna take her time to decipher it shes always been super nervous on the phone when we call. Hard to get her to call.

[Taki]

Yeah thats true. She technically sent the last text, so i guess it seems like I didnt text her for a week. I sent one thrsday morning and its now saturday morning and she hasnt even opened the message yet. Dont know whats going on :/

Dude, if the person I'm with leaves my message hanging for a week and then texts, I'm not gonna jump and reply immediately. I'd wait a few days too before replying. Just be TOTALLY honest with her and clear this misunderstanding up. I don't think the relationship is "doomed" as such. She's probably just as confused as you are. Before the layers of confusion start building up, send another message telling her how much you love her and explaining this little fiasco. You should be fine. You've been together for some time. I doubt one incident like this is going to crumble your entire relationship. But please don't let more and more confusion build up.

[Honour]

What Taki said. Some people just aren't comfortable on the phone/Skype/insert other voice/texting app either.

[snow]

Dude, if the person I'm with leaves my message hanging for a week and then texts, I'm not gonna jump and reply immediately. I'd wait a few days too before replying. Just be TOTALLY honest with her and clear this misunderstanding up. I don't think the relationship is "doomed" as such. She's probably just as confused as you are. Before the layers of confusion start building up, send another message telling her how much you love her and explaining this little fiasco. You should be fine. You've been together for some time. I doubt one incident like this is going to crumble your entire relationship. But please don't let more and more confusion build up.

What? Why would you play games? That's never a good idea. If my husband didn't talk to me for a week and then texted me, I would IMMEDIATELY respond and find out what happened. There is really no reason to be petty if you care about someone.

However, I do agree that talking on the phone in a language you are not 100% comfortable in is difficult and you might have to continue texting for the moment. It took me about a year before I used my microphone in-game as I was just too self-conscious about speaking a language I didn't know well enough, using text was WAY easier, especially since it gives you time to pick up a dictionary and look up a word you don't know.
Now I simply say "what does XY mean" because I know that my husband understands that there will be words I have no clue what they mean, but that took time.

[autumn1790]

[QUOTE=snow;434416]What? Why would you play games? That's never a good idea. If my husband didn't talk to me for a week and then texted me, I would IMMEDIATELY respond and find out what happened. There is really no reason to be petty if you care about someone.

Absolutely true, but unfortunately not everyone has reached that level...it happens. Sometimes someone is too hurt or angry from being ignored that they just need time to process everything so they don't explode. Or sometimes they want to get revenge. Difficult emotions to overcome.

[Taki]

What? Why would you play games? That's never a good idea. If my husband didn't talk to me for a week and then texted me, I would IMMEDIATELY respond and find out what happened. There is really no reason to be petty if you care about someone.

However, I do agree that talking on the phone in a language you are not 100% comfortable in is difficult and you might have to continue texting for the moment. It took me about a year before I used my microphone in-game as I was just too self-conscious about speaking a language I didn't know well enough, using text was WAY easier, especially since it gives you time to pick up a dictionary and look up a word you don't know.
Now I simply say "what does XY mean" because I know that my husband understands that there will be words I have no clue what they mean, but that took time.

Oh I definitely don't do that now. But looking back to when I was 21 (and the OP's gf is 21) that's certainly something I could see myself doing because I was very immature, insecure and VERY easily hurt and paranoid that every little thing meant that my SO didn't love me.

[Rezie]

What? Why would you play games? That's never a good idea. If my husband didn't talk to me for a week and then texted me, I would IMMEDIATELY respond and find out what happened. There is really no reason to be petty if you care about someone

This would be optimal. But I still think there is a difference being 21 yo and haven't heard from your boyfriend you have met once compared to not hearing from your husband.

I'm not proud of this but I can be petty and I can undrstand both their views. Are you sure nothing happend on the visit that she didn't bring up? Sometimes during our visits my boyfriend says something that bothers me and I don't want to waste time fighting since it wasn't that bad and I try to get over it and sometimes it bothers me after the visit. Or maybe the meeting was overwhelming and she needs time but doesn't know how to verbalise it.

[Taki]

What? Why would you play games? That's never a good idea. If my husband didn't talk to me for a week and then texted me, I would IMMEDIATELY respond and find out what happened. There is really no reason to be petty if you care about someone.

However, I do agree that talking on the phone in a language you are not 100% comfortable in is difficult and you might have to continue texting for the moment. It took me about a year before I used my microphone in-game as I was just too self-conscious about speaking a language I didn't know well enough, using text was WAY easier, especially since it gives you time to pick up a dictionary and look up a word you don't know.
Now I simply say "what does XY mean" because I know that my husband understands that there will be words I have no clue what they mean, but that took time.

Just one other thing that I'd like to add in here, you said yourself that you used to get self conscious about speaking a language you didn't know very well but that with time now you have built your self confidence up to a level where you can simply ask your husband "what does xyz mean" without feeling self conscious. I think you need to understand that just like THAT issue used to be one that made you self conscious, there are many different issues that make different people self conscious. So maybe the OP's gf is someone who feels self conscious to respond to a text after being ignored for a week (or what she feels like being ignored). Maybe the OP himself feels self conscious if he feels like he's the one initiating most of their conversations (even though in THIS particular conversation her message was last). We don't know all the details of every person's relationship and issues so I think on this forum- as it is a support group and LDRs are difficult enough already- it is really important to be sensitive and not imply judgement. There are people of varying ages and varying experiences and just because someone does something that seems silly to you, that may not always be the case. All that we need to do as forum members is to listen to the problem and try to give practical advice on what may have happened and how to solve it going forward. And like Rezie said, there's a huge difference between the 26yo OP and his 21 yo gf who have only met once in person and you, who are married. We are all in this together, lets keep it supportive