Havent talked to her in about a week

[Shixorous]

This would be optimal. But I still think there is a difference being 21 yo and haven't heard from your boyfriend you have met once compared to not hearing from your husband.

I'm not proud of this but I can be petty and I can undrstand both their views. Are you sure nothing happend on the visit that she didn't bring up? Sometimes during our visits my boyfriend says something that bothers me and I don't want to waste time fighting since it wasn't that bad and I try to get over it and sometimes it bothers me after the visit. Or maybe the meeting was overwhelming and she needs time but doesn't know how to verbalise it.

I dont think that it was something i said, i mean it coukd have been but ive been back for a month and she was still texting so many lovey dovey text and callin me her love and darking and we were talking alot. I think one of the big factirs in why she can go this long without talking to me is because she has this mega group of friends right now. She already had a few friends that would always meet up with but when i went there she had to meet these new friends so that i could stay with then at their place she knew them through mutual friends. We all hit it off and now she hangs out with that group and also mixed in the core friends that she had before. Its weird because a couple of thise guys she hangs out with send me snapchats DAILY so i guess she hasnt told any of them that shes not talking to me right now. Prettt amazing how thise guys can txt me everyday and she cant even once :/

[R&R]

I dont think that it was something i said, i mean it coukd have been but ive been back for a month and she was still texting so many lovey dovey text and callin me her love and darking and we were talking alot. I think one of the big factirs in why she can go this long without talking to me is because she has this mega group of friends right now. She already had a few friends that would always meet up with but when i went there she had to meet these new friends so that i could stay with then at their place she knew them through mutual friends. We all hit it off and now she hangs out with that group and also mixed in the core friends that she had before. Its weird because a couple of thise guys she hangs out with send me snapchats DAILY so i guess she hasnt told any of them that shes not talking to me right now. Prettt amazing how thise guys can txt me everyday and she cant even once :/

Well, sometimes choosing to "test" our SO's backfires tremendously. You chose not to communicate for a week just to see what would happen and you have your result. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm sure if you could go back in time, you would instead communicate that it would be nice for her to initiate sometimes instead of just not contacting her for a week to see what would happen. As others have said, she could be getting back at you, she could be really upset and not yet know how to tell you how she is feeling or she has decided you must have ended it with her. Only she can give you the final answer on what's going on in her head and heart. You can't force her to communicate with you. You'll probably want to give yourself a set time that if you haven't heard from her, then it's time for you to move on. If you do hear back from her, you need to have a serious talk about expectations and communication.

[Shixorous]

Well, sometimes choosing to "test" our SO's backfires tremendously. You chose not to communicate for a week just to see what would happen and you have your result. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm sure if you could go back in time, you would instead communicate that it would be nice for her to initiate sometimes instead of just not contacting her for a week to see what would happen. As others have said, she could be getting back at you, she could be really upset and not yet know how to tell you how she is feeling or she has decided you must have ended it with her. Only she can give you the final answer on what's going on in her head and heart. You can't force her to communicate with you. You'll probably want to give yourself a set time that if you haven't heard from her, then it's time for you to move on. If you do hear back from her, you need to have a serious talk about expectations and communication.

Yeah i definitely would approach if differently if i could go back. Im thinking that ill send her another picture message maybe tomorrow or tuesday and that will be my 2nd time messaging her since this all started and then just see what happens from there. She was with her friends all weekend so i didnt want to send her anything heavy making her feel stressed out while she is having fun so yeah ill wait until tomorrow or so.

[Shixorous]

Well today was the day that i decided to send my second message to her. I went down to the beach since i was near there anyway and in my suit I walked up and down the shore line for the better part of an hour (video was only like 7 sec) recording a video message of me basically asking her if she was still alive and that i missed her. She replied! It was late there so i think she was half asleep but she sent a smiley and said im alive then i asked if we could talk tomorrow since it was late for her and she said "lets talk tomorrow" accompanied by another smiley face. So i think it went great! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that gave thier advice and opinions to me and helped me see that I was being childish, I feel like i learned a lot. Hopefully next time i post in the forums it can be because of something positive. Thanks again everyone!

[Taki]

Well today was the day that i decided to send my second message to her. I went down to the beach since i was near there anyway and in my suit I walked up and down the shore line for the better part of an hour (video was only like 7 sec) recording a video message of me basically asking her if she was still alive and that i missed her. She replied! It was late there so i think she was half asleep but she sent a smiley and said im alive then i asked if we could talk tomorrow since it was late for her and she said "lets talk tomorrow" accompanied by another smiley face. So i think it went great! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that gave thier advice and opinions to me and helped me see that I was being childish, I feel like i learned a lot. Hopefully next time i post in the forums it can be because of something positive. Thanks again everyone!

Awesome. very happy for you

[Shixorous]

Hey guys another uodate. This time not so good news after the last time we talked which i posted about in a previous post above, we never talked. She hadnt message me during her daytime so i figured i shoot her a message at night and it said, "really miss talking to you everyday, i think it would be great if we could talk more often" "I always smile when I hear from you" and she looked at it as soon as i was done sending the second message but never responded. Im so confused. After she said lets talk tomorrow she still doesnt respond. I havent messaged her since yesterday and i dont plan to from here on out. I dont know where the relationship stands anymore.

[R&R]

Maybe it's time to set a timeline for what you want/expect. Send her a message asking where the relationship stands and tell her if she doesn't respond within XX amount of time, you'll gather it's over and move on.

Playing games in relationships isn't good and never ends well. You need honesty and communiction. It doesn't look like that's happening anymore, so you have to figure out how much more time you really want to invest in this.

[Taki]

Hey guys another uodate. This time not so good news after the last time we talked which i posted about in a previous post above, we never talked. She hadnt message me during her daytime so i figured i shoot her a message at night and it said, "really miss talking to you everyday, i think it would be great if we could talk more often" "I always smile when I hear from you" and she looked at it as soon as i was done sending the second message but never responded. Im so confused. After she said lets talk tomorrow she still doesnt respond. I havent messaged her since yesterday and i dont plan to from here on out. I dont know where the relationship stands anymore.

I agree with R&R but I suggest a softer message. Since this would be the first time you're bringing up a question as to the continuing state of the relationship, I don't think it's a good idea to mix in an ultimatum with it. I think that can be left for a (not TOO far off) later date if things don't improve. I suggest sending her a message saying that regular and frequent communication, especially in a LDR is important for you. And tell her it is important that when a time has been set to talk, both partners stick to it. Ask her if there are any issues that she would like to talk about with you because frankly, the existence of a successful relationship seems to be in question. Tell her you don't like being left in the dark and that it is a matter of basic respect for her to let you know instead of just leaving you hanging.

If she doesn't respond to this either then I think it's time to set an ultimatum.

[Shixorous]

I agree with R&R but I suggest a softer message. Since this would be the first time you're bringing up a question as to the continuing state of the relationship, I don't think it's a good idea to mix in an ultimatum with it. I think that can be left for a (not TOO far off) later date if things don't improve. I suggest sending her a message saying that regular and frequent communication, especially in a LDR is important for you. And tell her it is important that when a time has been set to talk, both partners stick to it. Ask her if there are any issues that she would like to talk about with you because frankly, the existence of a successful relationship seems to be in question. Tell her you don't like being left in the dark and that it is a matter of basic respect for her to let you know instead of just leaving you hanging.

If she doesn't respond to this either then I think it's time to set an ultimatum.

Yeah i think putting it to her much more delicate is a better option but im starting to think that shes young and maybe doesnt want to commit right now and she doesnt really respect me. I mean this woukd be like the 3rd/4th time shes done this ignoring crap to me and i always welcome her back whenever she eventually messages me again. So this time if she does message me back in going to just tell her that i dont mind talking but i cant make any big commitments to her because i have to get my life situated (im working on establishinh my career atm). But if she replys within the next couple of weeks or so then yeah ill give it another shot but im going to tell her about how she cant do this and that she needs to give me the respect of at least talking it out with me.

[Sparkling72]

If she doesn't respect you, that would be a deal breaker for me. Also, don't get caught up in who messaged who last and I'm not messaging b/c I did it last or things like that, that is one way to internally destroy your relationship. Sometimes I get a message notification and I might look at right away, but maybe my phone rings, or something else happens to prevent me from immediately responding... then I get distracted and hours or even the next day, I realize, oh shoot, I got a message. It doesn't happen with my SO as often as it happens with friends, but it can happen. If you really think she's playing games and has no respect... then respect yourself and move on.

[sasad]

Yeah i think putting it to her much more delicate is a better option but im starting to think that shes young and maybe doesnt want to commit right now and she doesnt really respect me. I mean this woukd be like the 3rd/4th time shes done this ignoring crap to me and i always welcome her back whenever she eventually messages me again. So this time if she does message me back in going to just tell her that i dont mind talking but i cant make any big commitments to her because i have to get my life situated (im working on establishinh my career atm). But if she replys within the next couple of weeks or so then yeah ill give it another shot but im going to tell her about how she cant do this and that she needs to give me the respect of at least talking it out with me.

Hold on.... so this has happened before, you take her back and now you are surprised about what's going on???? This puts a whole new spin on things. YOU allowed HER to treat you this way and take her back 3 or 4 time already.. Yet you are worried that she did it again? And you will take her back yet again??

I think you need to stop and break the cycle. Of course you always take her back so she will continue to treat you this way. Why would she need to give you any respect when you have never asked for the simple common courtesy and respect yet?? --I see you taking her back, she saying ya ya yada u=yada.. dissing you again and you getting upset. After the first time YOU should have communicated with her.. first time- ya maybe its okish. second time- umm we talked about this, third time-- um no. Respect me, respect us or its done. You let this happen and its normal to her. YOU need to set your boundaries.

[Shixorous]

If she doesn't respect you, that would be a deal breaker for me. Also, don't get caught up in who messaged who last and I'm not messaging b/c I did it last or things like that, that is one way to internally destroy your relationship. Sometimes I get a message notification and I might look at right away, but maybe my phone rings, or something else happens to prevent me from immediately responding... then I get distracted and hours or even the next day, I realize, oh shoot, I got a message. It doesn't happen with my SO as often as it happens with friends, but it can happen. If you really think she's playing games and has no respect... then respect yourself and move on.

Yeah i think shes actively ignoring me because like i said earlier shes done it so many times. Im not giving up on her yet because she didnt say that she didnt want to be with me, maybe she just needs some time to breathe and ill give her that so thats the main reaon why id rather wait to message her and not bombard her with messages asking her whats wrong.

[Sparkling72]

Why would she need to give you any respect when you have never asked for the simple common courtesy and respect yet?? .... You let this happen and its normal to her. YOU need to set your boundaries.

I have to say Amen to that! We teach people how to treat us... period. Ask yourself if what you are teaching her is ok. perhaps you like this back and forth game with her, yo-yo thing that's going on?

[Shixorous]

Hold on.... so this has happened before, you take her back and now you are surprised about what's going on???? This puts a whole new spin on things. YOU allowed HER to treat you this way and take her back 3 or 4 time already.. Yet you are worried that she did it again? And you will take her back yet again??

I think you need to stop and break the cycle. Of course you always take her back so she will continue to treat you this way. Why would she need to give you any respect when you have never asked for the simple common courtesy and respect yet?? --I see you taking her back, she saying ya ya yada u=yada.. dissing you again and you getting upset. After the first time YOU should have communicated with her.. first time- ya maybe its okish. second time- umm we talked about this, third time-- um no. Respect me, respect us or its done. You let this happen and its normal to her. YOU need to set your boundaries.

Your completely right. I guess i just thiught it was my fault because i hadnt visited her in person yet but this time i actually spent the time and resources to go out there. I thiught that that would give the relationship some solidsrity and thought it might change how she acted. Do you think its too late to talk to her about it next time? I dont know maybe shes already got that idea of me in her head.

[Rezie]

Yeah i think shes actively ignoring me because like i said earlier shes done it so many times. Im not giving up on her yet because she didnt say that she didnt want to be with me, maybe she just needs some time to breathe and ill give her that so thats the main reaon why id rather wait to message her and not bombard her with messages asking her whats wrong.

You are letting yourself be treated like crap. Of course she won't tell you she doesnt want to be with you since she can do whatever she wants and at the end of the day you will be there when she feels like it. For me it is now feeling like you enjoy the game and want to win. You do not deserve to be treated like this.