Originally posted by Taki
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The first issue that I have here is:
#1. when someone demands that I report to them everything that I say to another person, that is not trust.
Second issue:
#2. There is an interesting spin on it that he says that he wouldn't tell you because what you don't know wouldn't hurt you. This seems like a nice way of avoiding telling you that you asking to be told everything that he has said to someone is a controlling demand on your part.
At the end of the day, we have to accept that the majority of people have had love interests before. That means that our current significant others actually had a life before us. And yes, our significant others actually loved other people and had sex with other people before they met us. Perhaps they are still friends with their exes.
I am not friends with my exes, for the most part, because in the past I have not exercised good boundaries with my exes. That means that I do not really socialize with my exes a lot. Every once in a while something will come up and we'll talk, but not that often. My SO, on the other hand, talks to one of her exes regularly. I'm okay with that. My SO has good boundaries. However, if either of us demanded that the other one report the conversations, that would not work because that is not trust.
Originally posted by Taki
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Don't rush things and give yourself an opportunity to trust after you've learned more about it.
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