After eveything Ive done for her, she gets rid of me

[Sparkling72]

I think you should be very proud of everything you have accomplished - take that accomplishment and move on with your life. I know you're hurt and you are going to hurt for some time. Pick of the pieces, learn from this experience, and rebuild a new life with someone who appreciates you.

[Arkads]

I bolded some of her words for emphasis.

Do you realize that she is right in that you should have listened to her? You should have paid attention to the person that she actually is instead of the person you wanted her to be.

To say, "look at all that I've done for you" is to play a victim role and a set up for a resentment. To do something to better yourself is one thing, to do something toward working to be a couple is another, but to do something completely for another person is a set up for the victim role.

Any time anyone says, "look at all I've done for you" is holding that other person responsible for actions instead of holding yourself responsible for your own actions.

Own that you chose to make those decisions. Then make better decisions in the future. It is very important that you own responsibility for making those decisions so that you don't continue to make the same decisions over and over. She is not solely responsible for your decisions. You played a part as well.

He clearly mentioned that he had shit grades and no work experience so the only way to get accepted was to improve on himself and he got a job which would extend the time and she agreed to this so if she hadnt agreed he wouldnt have done all this. She shouldnt have agreed at the first place.

[baabidi]

Thank you everyone for the response. Just a little update, after I told her I will respect her decision to end the relationship and that told her I've decided to continue Master's. After a day, she tries talking to like everything is normal and she wants to give relationship a go in person as she told me she had good moments with me when we spent time in person. I told her to spend some time thinking whether she really wants me or not and asked for some space, she got a little pissed and told me not to ignore her. However, I managed to convince her to spend some time to think through.

[baabidi]

I bolded some of her words for emphasis.

Do you realize that she is right in that you should have listened to her? You should have paid attention to the person that she actually is instead of the person you wanted her to be.

To say, "look at all that I've done for you" is to play a victim role and a set up for a resentment. To do something to better yourself is one thing, to do something toward working to be a couple is another, but to do something completely for another person is a set up for the victim role.

Any time anyone says, "look at all I've done for you" is holding that other person responsible for actions instead of holding yourself responsible for your own actions.

Own that you chose to make those decisions. Then make better decisions in the future. It is very important that you own responsibility for making those decisions so that you don't continue to make the same decisions over and over. She is not solely responsible for your decisions. You played a part as well.

Yes, I should have listened to her the first time but it would have been too risky. I had only one chance to apply to the University and if I screwed it up, it would have been the end. Before I had work experience, I wanted to do Master's in USA and I had applied for grad school and got rejected by 6 Universities and I realized, the only option left for me was to improve my skills and pass more exams. There are cheaper places in her country but she didn't want me to move out of that city and its one of the most expensive cities to live in and I did as she told me. I don't entirely blame her because I feel like I stalled and hurt her.

[Sparkling72]

Thank you everyone for the response. Just a little update, after I told her I will respect her decision to end the relationship and that told her I've decided to continue Master's. After a day, she tries talking to like everything is normal and she wants to give relationship a go in person as she told me she had good moments with me when we spent time in person. I told her to spend some time thinking whether she really wants me or not and asked for some space, she got a little pissed and told me not to ignore her. However, I managed to convince her to spend some time to think through.

Good for you! You both need to think things through, carefully. Remember to put yourself, and your best interests first right now. Are you will to keep living by her rules, the yo-yo she's putting you through? She's allowed to ignore and block you, but you can't? Maybe doing this masters will be a new start for you and lead to new friendships, new relationships, a clean slate!

[hmrambling]

Yes, I should have listened to her the first time but it would have been too risky. I had only one chance to apply to the University and if I screwed it up, it would have been the end. Before I had work experience, I wanted to do Master's in USA and I had applied for grad school and got rejected by 6 Universities and I realized, the only option left for me was to improve my skills and pass more exams. There are cheaper places in her country but she didn't want me to move out of that city and its one of the most expensive cities to live in and I did as she told me. I don't entirely blame her because I feel like I stalled and hurt her.

Again, I've bolded your words for emphasis.

Here's an example on how to own responsibility:

Instead of "I did as she told me," say "I chose to do as she instructed." "I chose to do as she demanded." "I chose to do as she suggested." You did have a choice in the matter, and you chose to do what she wanted you to do.

There is a big difference in continuing to blame her and you owning your role in where you are. I understand that you are hurt because a relationship ended, and that you were not treated as you feel you deserve.

The longer you live, the more you will see that life is not fair and that we TEACH people how to treat us. When we accept unacceptable behavior, that behavior continues to happen. This is why boundaries are so important in relationships. You taught her that you would accept unacceptable behavior toward you, therefore she continued that unacceptable behavior. Then you were surprised that she continued that unacceptable behavior even though you taught her how to treat you. Own your role. Be responsible in your actions. When people show you their true selves, believe them. Don't fall for that person that you want them to be. That is fantasy to make someone into someone they are not.

Autopsy the relationship and stop playing the victim. Here is an autopsy: https://www.drphil.com/advice/relationship-autopsy/

[Sparkling72]

Autopsy the relationship and stop playing the victim. Here is an autopsy: https://www.drphil.com/advice/relationship-autopsy/

That's actually a good article... healthy for anyone to do to help improve their relationship. thanks for sharing that!

[5518MilesApart]

You're not making excuses and she's selfish. And a psycho.

Block her back. So even if she unblocks you, she can't contact you.

I second this motion. You seemed to have dodged a bullet there, op.
A relationship takes two people, and it sounds to me like you were the only one putting in a lot of effort.
Focus on yourself, if you want to go to school, do it. You'll probably find someone on campus that understands what a relationship entails.

[Dasrouse]

Wow OP, sorry to hear that. Reminds me of my ex fiancé. Trust me, you are better off without her. You made those challenging steps for her or for yourself? I do not want an answer to that question, this is something you should ask yourself. I say move on my friend, I know it is easy to say but almost impossible to do. The other posters here have good points and the link on relationships looks like a good read. Sorry I am late to this but I just signed up with a situation of my own. Best of luck brother, and keep your head up.