Can I rant here? Is that okay to do? I'm so angry. I need someone or somewhere to talk about it.
My boyfriend has been gone for a little over a month. I spent the first month sad, trying to figure out a way to re-work my routine and my life. But now, I'm just angry. I am so very angry and I am having trouble stopping it. You spend 3 years with someone, live with them for 2, and then they just decide to go abroad for a year? No discussion. No "hey, how would you feel about this". Just a simple "Sorry to be selfish, but this is something I am going to do". How is that okay? How, in a relationship, is it just okay to up and leave your life, your SO, your apartment, your commitments for a year and not think twice about it? I'd understand if it was military or school, but no. He saw a post about teaching English in Japan and decided that sounded like a fun adventure. And he up and left. And I have to sit here and be supportive and happy for him, which part of me is. But the majority of me is just angry. 3 years of sharing a life, of making decisions together, and I'm left out of this huge decision. He knew this would break me. He knew I would have to try everyday to hold myself together. He knew. And I was still never included in the conversation. What happened to compromise and discussion? What happened to talking things over? It's not as if he decided to go away for a weekend without telling me. It's a year. A year of "sorry to leave you with the bills, I'll send some money when I can". A year of "can't talk, skype is down". A year of "I'm having so much fun over here! I wish you could be here with me!" Well if you wished I could be there with you, why didn't you wait until I could be? I can't shake the anger. I can't shake the rage. But I also can't fully share this with him. I have no idea what to do.
My boyfriend has been gone for a little over a month. I spent the first month sad, trying to figure out a way to re-work my routine and my life. But now, I'm just angry. I am so very angry and I am having trouble stopping it. You spend 3 years with someone, live with them for 2, and then they just decide to go abroad for a year? No discussion. No "hey, how would you feel about this". Just a simple "Sorry to be selfish, but this is something I am going to do". How is that okay? How, in a relationship, is it just okay to up and leave your life, your SO, your apartment, your commitments for a year and not think twice about it? I'd understand if it was military or school, but no. He saw a post about teaching English in Japan and decided that sounded like a fun adventure. And he up and left. And I have to sit here and be supportive and happy for him, which part of me is. But the majority of me is just angry. 3 years of sharing a life, of making decisions together, and I'm left out of this huge decision. He knew this would break me. He knew I would have to try everyday to hold myself together. He knew. And I was still never included in the conversation. What happened to compromise and discussion? What happened to talking things over? It's not as if he decided to go away for a weekend without telling me. It's a year. A year of "sorry to leave you with the bills, I'll send some money when I can". A year of "can't talk, skype is down". A year of "I'm having so much fun over here! I wish you could be here with me!" Well if you wished I could be there with you, why didn't you wait until I could be? I can't shake the anger. I can't shake the rage. But I also can't fully share this with him. I have no idea what to do.
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