Gifts???

[sunnymess54]

So when we first starred this. My so asked me during our first Christmas together what I would want so I told him " if your going to get me something get me a teddy bear I can sleep with" well he got me three...I was excited....ever since then any birthday or Christmas I have gotten just a couple of video games and I dont want to sound ungrateful however ..like for Christmas he asked me what I wanted and I felt silly telling him that I wanted a promise ring..and was excited when he said OK...well Christmas came and I was expecting a promise ring and ya I got two games...and here again I just had my birthday and he sent me a present and ya well its again two games...

I get it he's a gamer and I like playing games as well however I just dont feel like he knows me at all. Also its discoursing that with every Christmas and birthday I go out of my way to listen to him and get him things he needs or wants.

Last Christmas I got him a PS4 pro and some games, and his birthday I got him games and called his favorite sandwich shop and had lunch delivered to him and also called his favorite smoking hangout and paid for him and his buddies to smoke that night...it took a lot of time and effort and planning for those things to go into place from a distance and idk it seems silly but it irritates me that he doesn't out the same effort in

Am I wrong for feeling this way???

[differentcountries]

It seems like he is not really a gift giver... Since in the beginning he got you what you wanted, and then later on just what he would get himself.

Do you have any kind of hobbies you would like him to support you with?

Or do you just want him to give you typical romantic stuff. but he is not getting the hint from the teddy bear?

If you want jewlery, it is better to say so outright. Or you can give him other gift suggestions like books, cosmetics or whatever you would be happy to receive. A promise/engagement ring sounds a little premature if you have not actually discussed marriage.

[sunnymess54]

It seems like he is not really a gift giver... Since in the beginning he got you what you wanted, and then later on just what he would get himself.

Do you have any kind of hobbies you would like him to support you with?

Or do you just want him to give you typical romantic stuff. but he is not getting the hint from the teddy bear?

If you want jewlery, it is better to say so outright. Or you can give him other gift suggestions like books, cosmetics or whatever you would be happy to receive. A promise/engagement ring sounds a little premature if you have not actually discussed marriage.

That's the thing we are almost at 2 years and we have discussed marriage etc that's why at Christmas time I brought up a promise ring...I love games however I like other things as well besides that and where he is a gamer it just seems he always just goes to that as an easy gift versus actually asking me or trying to find something I'd like and it kind of aggervates me

[R&R]

You can always make a list of things that would make great gifts for you and give it to him. This way, he has a list to choose from and you'll still be somewhat surprised.

My SO and I have been together 3 1/2 years and got married last November. In that entire time, I haven't received one gift - for Christmas, birthday, Valentines Day, anniversary. He bought me a gift this Christmas.......a gold necklace.....which I have yet to receive though I have seen it.....and I don't wear jewelery. I've finally decided it's just not his strong point and he is good in so many other areas. Maybe when we are finally living together I'll work on it with him a bit lol.

[sunnymess54]

You can always make a list of things that would make great gifts for you and give it to him. This way, he has a list to choose from and you'll still be somewhat surprised.

My SO and I have been together 3 1/2 years and got married last November. In that entire time, I haven't received one gift - for Christmas, birthday, Valentines Day, anniversary. He bought me a gift this Christmas.......a gold necklace.....which I have yet to receive though I have seen it.....and I don't wear jewelery. I've finally decided it's just not his strong point and he is good in so many other areas. Maybe when we are finally living together I'll work on it with him a bit lol.

Wow no presents in all that time? How did you not get furious? I do see your point though as it not being his strong point...but at the same time it is kind of hurtful that they don't try. I love the idea of a list of things as a reference. I may have to try it but also may have to just deal with gifts not being his strong point. He did great in the beginning which I guess is why it's hurtful. I know he has it in him and the fact he just doesn't try is what bugs me

[R&R]

Wow no presents in all that time? How did you not get furious? I do see your point though as it not being his strong point...but at the same time it is kind of hurtful that they don't try. I love the idea of a list of things as a reference. I may have to try it but also may have to just deal with gifts not being his strong point. He did great in the beginning which I guess is why it's hurtful. I know he has it in him and the fact he just doesn't try is what bugs me

I don't let what I consider the "little things" bother me. He made it to my daughters high school graduation and had to bend over backwards to be here - that was important. He waited almost 24 hours on standby in an airport to make it for my birthday - that was important. He installed a new sink and windows for my parents - that was important. He sent me a love letter when i wanted one - that meant a lot. He doesn't think to buy me gifts.....not such a big deal.

[snow]

People show their affection in many ways - through words, through little acts, through quality time, through touch or by giving gifts and they like to be shown they are loved with one of these 5 (not particularly the same).
It seems like giving gifts is not something he is good at, it might not even be something he enjoys doing, but it is required for him so he gets you what he thinks could be a nice gift.

I recommend you two take the love language test and figure out how you two like to love and be loved. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

My husband and I did it and it showed that I like showing my love through acts of service and giving gifts, while my husband likes to be loved through spending quality time with me and hearing words of affirmation. I am not good on words, so it's easier for me to pick a gift that speaks for itself than tell him clumsily how much I love him. He knows that and accepts that this is how I show my love.